I breathed in, breathed out.
“Little Blue. You killed him and threw him in the lake, didn’t you? Didn’t you?”
I didn’t understand where the field of cats came in, but at least if I knew the answer to one of the riddles, perhaps at least I’d know there was a method to the madness.
To my surprise, he answered me.
His eyes lasered into mine. “Of course I did. Of course. Little Blue says thank you. He says thank you for finding him. Cattie nine tails. They were his favorite. He’s been waiting a long time, Jessica. A long, long time.”
I exhaled. “Thank you,” I whispered, scolding myself for thanking a killer but relieved to know the riddles, the pictures. They all did add up if I could just solve them. They all added up. There was a science to the madness. But how would I get the police to believe me?
I was risking it all now, though, by staying too long. I needed to slip out. I had the information I needed. If the police could find the first body, they would know I wasn’t simply crazy. They would believe me and, with their expertise, we could certainly find the others. We could give their families peace, and we could all go back to the quiet lives we led.
I shuddered, realizing that it wasn’t always that easy for everyone. I realized what danger I was putting myself in even going to the police. But that was so far away, long enough ago that there would be no connection. I was safe. I walked toward the door but paused before opening it. I needed to check. Because what if I was worried for nothing? What if my mind was just playing horrible tricks and she was his?
“What about yellow? Why don’t you draw her ever?”
“You know why, Jessica,” he said, grinning as he shook his head as if scolding a belligerent child.
I took a deep breath in, waiting to hear the words I knew were coming.
“She’s not mine. She’s not even the asylum’s. She’s yours. All yours. It’s why we knew you could help us.”
I nodded softly so that I did not crumple to the floor, locking myself in with 5B and letting the asylum swallow me. But I wanted to in that moment. Oh, did I want to succumb to it all right there on the floor of room 5B.
“Hurry, Jessica. Soon, it’s my turn to go. I know it’ll be my turn. And I want to leave the kids here.”
I looked at him, confused. What was he talking about? Still, I felt the pressure of getting to the bottom of it all. There was no time, though. I took one last look at him, his eyes darting up and down my body. I nodded again, a tear falling as I turned to walk away.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I chanted in my head as I made my getaway, down the stairs and back through the now lighter forest. I avoided the tree where Brown had found me. Still, I wasn’t thinking about myself or the kids or anything but her.
I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry.
Chapter Thirty-One
Iknow what it sounds like,” I murmured from the padded chair across the desk from the officer. He was a young man, presumably younger than me judging by his semi-cocky grin and his angular jaw. He took notes as I finished up the story, eyeing the drawings I’d spread out meticulously before he eyed me warily.
It had been a terrible idea to come. I knew it from the second I left Redwood and found myself pulling into the Oakwood Police Department. My hair was a frizzy mess, I had bags under my eyes, and my hands were still trembling from all that had happened. I hadn’t slept in a day—although more like three weeks considering my visitors.
I’d told him the story of 5B—the parts I could without sounding insane. I’d mentioned the drawings, the discussions, the connection to the Ambridge Farm. I’d listed out the riddles, talked about what I thought they could mean. I, of course, left out the haunting spirits of the children and the ghostly encounters.
“And you say no one else at the asylum has connected these dots?”
“I don’t think anyone is looking, to be honest. There are other worries at Redwood,” I uttered, eyeing him. I wondered if I could trust him. I had no choice, though. I was too far in.
“What do you mean?” he asked, pausing from his notes to spin back and forth in his desk chair.
I hesitated before continuing on. “I think there’s a lot going on at Redwood that they don’t want anyone to know.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Go on,” he encouraged, nodding. His gaze was glued to me. Encouraged by this sign, I decided to jump in.
“For one, I think three are a lot of experimental treatments going on. 5B, for example. Mr. Essic. He didn’t start these drawings until after he was taken for an experimental shock treatment in the basement, according to the files that are stashed away. I don’t know for sure, but it seems to me like there are a lot of secretive medical treatments going on that they don’t want anyone to know about. I know at my last hospital, there were a lot of records, a lot of permissions granted for any treatment, let alone an experimental one. It seems to me like Mr. Essic got worse, not better, from the treatments.”
“So couldn’t all of this be nonsense then? The rantings of a lunatic, the hallucinations of a man who is gone?” the officer asked. He softened after I glared at him.
“I don’t think so.” I couldn’t tell him why, of course, I knew 5B wasn’t completely insane. I couldn’t tell him that if he was insane, so was I. I shuddered at the thought, turning my gaze from the officer to
