Now Neville is alone with the child and I am here in Humansdorp with my husband. There was no real decision to make; we had to go and stay with the two of them.
And he asks, “Where is Mommy?”
We had to say, “Mommy is sick and Mommy is going to get better and she will come home soon.” Fortunately a child doesn’t realise how long it is. And we stayed, my husband and I. And every few days he’d say he wants to go home.
I felt so sorry for Patsy and for Neville. Patsy had become part of me. She has never been a daughter-in-law to me. She is so good to me and I adore her. I tell you that time was hard but it made me strong. God made me strong and I could pick up again.
So, here we had this little mite in the house. And then while Patsy was away at the hospital, family from my husband’s side came out to visit us and I thought, This is now not a good time to have people, but it turned out fine.
It was his brother Mervin and wife Mary and her sister and husband. Neville and Patsy lived in a big house. They both like space.
So, we had these visitors in the house. And for me it was hard. We stayed for a long time and Patsy would ring in between and say she wanted to come home.
I told her to hang on just a bit longer. I used the excuse that there were people in the house and that it was full, but I knew she had to stay for longer.
Neville and Craig went to visit her in Cape Town once for a weekend. I made a little bed in the back of the car for Craig and off they went. I think Neville also went on his own on a few occasions.
Craig used to keep me very busy. We would make those little calendars, like the ones you use for Christmas, where you would open each day and there would be little presents. We were counting down the days to the time his mom would come home. Every morning he would be so excited to open it and sometimes he would get a chocolate and sometimes a coin.
But in the meantime things had to get back to normal. Neville would go to work in the day and Sarah and I would be with Craig. I think we ended up staying a large part of the year.
Craig had to go back to school. At the time skateboarding was a big thing. And all the boys had skateboards and they asked him if he had one. Now part of his head had no bone in it. And it was treacherous for him. What if he falls?
Then Neville said we can’t wrap him in cotton wool, what are we going to do? We got him a skateboard and a helmet and all these things and we took him to this place where all the boys were skateboarding. But his balance and coordination were poor and he never managed to skate. He’d watch with envy, I think.
Craig had this bed in his bedroom with this drawer that you could push in underneath.
It was a big, long drawer. In the end it became for me the place where all the hopes Craig cherished were hidden. Things like the tennis racquet and takkies he got when he wanted to play tennis. Craig had very bad coordination and he’d go for one or two lessons until the coach would tell Neville that he can’t do it.
And Craig begins to feel inadequate and so into the drawer the racquet goes.
Then the rugby ball and the sports clothes. All of these things he tried to master. Craig desperately wanted to succeed and he never gave up. That drawer just filled up with all of these useless things.
And then the golf thing started. He was very good at that and it was such a good thing for him and for us. Neville and Craig could play golf together and this gave them time to bond.
Craig was an incredibly generous child. You know, when he was little, I would pack his lunch boxes for school and he had to have a fruit and a couple of biscuits, one sweet and his sarmie. And then he would always take an extra sweet for another child. He was always, always concerned about anyone who was left out or the poor and the have-nots. Anybody who came to the door had to be given something.
And one day this old man came twice and I just felt he had been given what he wanted and why is he back and Craig says, “But he could be Jesus. You must not send him away. You must give to him.”
Where does that come from?
His mother was a Catholic and she has always been religious. Neville is the best child, cleanest living man, the kindest man, the giving-away man, but he jokingly says boarding school killed religion for him. He does not want to go to church. He goes on special occasions and I just leave it alone.
When Craig was 18 he said he wanted to learn to drive. He wants a car. It was his great delight and he was very proud. I was very proud of him.
And he would call and say, “Nana, I want to drive you somewhere.”
He was the most precious child.
5Who Am I?
Craig kept his neatly handwritten thoughts in a large, blue, lever-arched file. He began writing at an early age and kept it up for many years. He did not share his writing with anyone and destroyed all of it before starting a new diary in 2003 when he was 23.
Craig titled his
