“This isn’t going to work.” I spin around and head right back out the front door.
“Tinley,” he snaps, the boom of his voice making my feet obey even though I know escaping this house is what’s best for all involved. “Tell me what you came here to say.”
When I get the nerve to turn back around, he’s sitting at the table with the lid popped open on his food container, fork already mixing the food around. It’s as if the moment never happened, and I don’t know whether I should be happy or question my sanity.
“Alex said you were in the Army.” He nods in confirmation as he chews. “Were you honorably discharged?”
“I was,” he answers after swallowing. “I now work for a man named Deacon Black. He owns Blackbridge Security. Our home base is in St. Louis, but my work takes me all over the world.”
I envy him in this moment, his ability to see the world. The only time I’ve ever been out of the state was a day trip to the casino in Oklahoma, and I’m pretty sure that’s less than fifteen miles across the Texas border. Being a young, single mother doesn’t afford much time for travel and experiencing things outside of parenting. I could hate him for his adventures, but my conscience reminds me that he wasn’t around because of my choices, not his own.
“Are you married?”
He looks up from his food. “Do you think that would stop me from fucking you if you offered?”
My cheeks heat as my eyes dart away. “I would hope you aren’t the type of man that would cheat on your spouse.”
“I don’t have a wife or a husband or a fiancée. I’m single. I don’t do relationships. I had one that went bad, and it left a bad taste in my mouth.”
Is it wrong to hope that he’s talking about me, that maybe I had the power to ruin love for him for all others? I know it’s foolish to think this man hasn’t been in a relationship since we were together, but the thought of him loving—
I shake my head. I’m not here for any of that shit.
“Any other kids?”
“No.”
“How long do you have before you have to go back to St. Louis?”
“Trying to get rid of me already?”
More like wondering how long I have before you prove me right and break my son’s heart.
I don’t respond, forcing him to speak again.
“As long as it takes.”
“As long as what takes?”
“You’re asking all these questions. Does that mean it’s only fair for me to do the same?”
“I’m an open book,” I respond as if the biggest secret of my life isn’t between us.
“So?”
“So what?” If he wants to know, he’s going to have to ask. I’m not offering up details because letting him back into my life in any other capacity than what pertains to Alex would be detrimental to my heart. Just being in the same room with him gives him power I’ve told myself I’d never hand over to another man.
“Married? Other kids?”
“No.”
“Dating anyone?”
I narrow my eyes at him, knowing he had a vindictive streak years ago and having no doubt in my mind that he’d sabotage my life in retaliation for the lies I’ve told.
“I need to know the woman who is around my son,” he tosses back at me, those words spoken from my own lips now making my stomach turn sour.
“I don’t have time to date. Raising a preteen and working all the time to support him doesn’t leave much room for things like men, travel, and having the time of my life.”
“You chose those struggles,” he reminds me. “I would’ve been around if I’d known. I would’ve helped raise and support our son. You didn’t have to do it alone.”
My jaw flexes, the need to run warring with the desire to shake the hell out of him.
“Excuse me if not sticking around for the guy who told me he loved me so he could use me for sex wasn’t high on my priority list.”
His fork hovering over his dinner falls from his fingers, but he doesn’t argue my statement.
“We’re getting off track,” I mutter, hating the scrutiny of his glare. “I’m here to talk about Alex and what’s best for him.”
“And I’m sure you think you know what’s best?”
His words hit me like a slap to the face. It’s another dig at my choices and his contempt of them.
“I can’t change the past, and if we can’t just agree to move forward, then this isn’t going to work.”
“You make it sound like you’re allowing me to be in his life, but understand, Tinley, not being a part of his life isn’t an option. I should’ve been around from day one.”
I open my mouth to snap at him, to ask him if he honestly thinks he would’ve stuck around had he known, but that’s just another branch of the argument that will get us nowhere.
“He doesn’t want you around,” I say instead.
“I’m going—”
Surprisingly, he stops when I hold my hand up to silence him.
“He’s twelve. He doesn’t know what’s best, but just showing up and expecting him to welcome you in his life isn’t going to happen. He’s had a hard time since Dad died. I haven’t dated. He hasn’t had to share me with—”
“This isn’t about sharing you, Tinley. I don’t need a relationship with you or your time to get to know him.”
That hurts more than it probably should.
“I’ll do what it takes to make that boy understand he never has to worry about me leaving.”
You left me. You’ll do the same to him when things get tough.
“I’ll put in the time and effort. Whatever is required for him to trust me.”
“He needs positive influences in his life.” I hate that Mr. Branford’s words are coming out of my mouth, especially since I shot them down when they were spoken to me. “But you have to stick around. I don’t want him getting used to you only for you to disappear
