“What about sedating her?”
“Let me go discuss it with another doctor to make sure what I give her doesn’t mess her up,” he sighed. “Whatever we use will have to be admitted intramuscularly, though, because she tore out her IV a while ago, and I doubt we’re going to be able to get a new one into her. I’ve got two medications in mind that, if admitted at the same time, will sedate her slightly faster than if I just gave her one of them.” Nodding, I leaned back so he could get her file from the wall. “It won’t be immediate, but at least it’ll do something.”
Then, hurrying down the hall, he disappeared, leaving me to watch the woman who was now panting and glaring at me.
I swear, if her head started spinning, I wouldn’t be surprised. She looked as possessed as she’d been acting.
“You’re ripping your wrists up,” I advised her, keeping my distance but taking a step closer to her. “And the doctors want to fix your broken arm. Doesn’t that hurt?”
From the way it depressed in the middle, it had to be agony. Hell, I’d broken my ankle when I was fourteen, and I still remembered the pain.
“I need to feed my cat.”
Blinking, I tried to process what she’d just said. “You need to feed your cat?”
With no expression on her face, just her eyes boring into me, she replied, “My pussy.”
“I see. Is your cat at home?”
“Yes.”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I nodded. “I could go and feed it for you, but you need to stay calm and let them fix you up.”
“My pussy needs to be cuddled.”
I couldn’t stop the visible shudder that went through me at the possibility she was talking about her pussy. At this stage, it probably had fangs and attacked whatever came near it.
Injecting as much sympathy and understanding into my voice as possible, I said, “We can arrange for that. All we ask is that you allow the doctors to treat you for your injuries and remain calm.”
Looking down at her body for emphasis, she had the audacity to raise an eyebrow at me. “I am calm. I’m not screaming or shouting. I’m merely requesting that you care for my cat.”
“You’ve been very agitated since you arrived, but if you stay like this, we can arrange to get your cat the care you want it to have.”
Clenching her teeth tightly together, she hissed, “Because of my cat.”
“I’ll call in and get someone to feed it and cuddle it.” I held my hands up in front of me. “I’m sorry that you’re going through so much.”
There, that was nice, and hopefully she’d appreciate the sympathy.
Big mistake. Instead of relaxing like I’d assumed, she glared at me. “You arrested my boyfriend.”
“Because you reported that he was hitting you and smashing up your home.”
Then, she did something truly unexpected. She threw her head back and burst out laughing. “He didn’t do that. I did that.”
“You put the holes in your walls?” I clarified.
“Of course.”
“So, what happened to your arm?”
Smiling smugly at me, she sang, “I broke it hitting him on the head.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake!
Dropping my head back to look up at the ceiling, I counted to five before looking back down at her. “Why did you call it in?”
Shrugging her shoulder as much as she could, she said seriously, “Foreplay.”
And this, folks, is the shit we look forward to every day.
Just then, the doctor came back with a tray in his hand that had two syringes in it and stopped when he saw how calm she was.
“I’d still give it to her if I was you,” I muttered out of the corner of my mouth. “I’d also request a psych eval after her arm’s fixed up.”
When the doctor glared at me as I advised him, I said solemnly, “Trust me, you’ll thank me for it.”
“What about my pussy?” she snapped.
This time, the doctor shuddered with me.
“I’ll arrange for it to be looked after,” I promised.
“Don’t you get no humane or animal society on it. They won’t give it back. Petunia needs one-on-one TLC, and those assholes just cage the poor animals up and kill them when no one wants them.”
Rubbing my face with both hands, I repeated to myself that I needed her to remain calm. “I’ll get on it.”
With the way she was talking, it was going to be an angry beast with one eye sewed shut, its ears cut off, bald in patches, and have a personality like the Antichrist, I just knew it. That’s the only reason she wouldn’t want it to go to an animal rescue place.
“Now, Doc, give me whatever’s in that syringe, fix my damn arm, and order that psych eval like the nice Po-Po asked.” There was a pause, and then she added, “And I’m truly sorry for getting blood on your sheets. I’ve got a special pussy, you see, and being in here is keeping me from her.”
Glancing over at the doctor, who was still standing there in shock, I nudged him toward her. “Good luck.”
I was almost back at Alejandro’s room when she shrieked, “I said, give me the damn drugs in the goddamn syringe, fix my fucking arm, and get me a motherfucking psych eval like he said, you stupid piece of shit.”
Walking in and seeing that Alejandro had a doctor with him, I waited while he was examined and kept an ear on the woman down the hallway while I talked to DB about what’d happened and the cat.
It’s a given that in life you’ll encounter people or situations where you’re left asking yourself, “Self, what in the ever-loving hell did we just get into?” Or you’ll muse about how surreal and bizarre it was. I could honestly say that this might be number one on my list of those situations and people.
After getting the all-clear from the doctor
