“It’s not the four of us together, it’s you three and sometimes me.” She slides off the stool and grabs the handle of a suitcase I’m just now noticing.
I’m frozen to the spot in fear. I can’t even speak. I can’t fight for her.
“Lilith-” Griff starts to try to reason with her, thank fuck, since I can’t.
“No,” she holds her hand up and shakes her head, “I don’t want to hear reasons or excuses. Griff,” she stands right in front of him, “I never thought I’d see the day where you disappointed me. You are the logical one, the one who thinks things through with a cool detachment.”
Griff pales as she walks past him, pulling her suitcase with her.
“Hoodrat, wait,” Lev steps in.
“No,” her voice trembles as the first tears track down her cheeks. She reaches up and drags Lev to her by his collar. “You are the only person left in this world that I share blood with Levi Franklin Marsh. I cannot lose you. I cannot lose you in some reckless bid to keep me safe.” She pulls his forehead to hers while they both cry.
“I love you,” he tells her.
“Then remember how much it hurts to see me walk out that door. I won’t let you guys fill my life with so much only to shut me out in the scary moments.”
She stops in front of me, and I can barely breathe. My body is screaming for her, my arms to lock around her and not let her go. I want to drown in her strawberry and rose scent. Instead I stand there, still as a fucking statue while she guts me.
“I can’t accept this if you aren’t going to share every part of you with me.” She pulls her engagement ring off and puts it in my hand. “I’ve never shied away from your darkness, Connor. I love every part of you, but I refuse to let you shut me out. I won’t stay locked in a pretty cage, even for you.”
She opens the front door with a click, leaving a sobbing Lev, a dumbfounded Griff, and myself gutted. I finally fucking snap out of my stupor and race out the door and into the hall only to be stopped by another set of angry eyes.
Claire stands beside Lilith, holding her hand as she cries.
“Stay fucking back, Con.” Her green eyes shoot icy daggers at me. “We’re leaving, and you’re letting us.”
It’s then that I realize she’s got a suitcase, too. “Where are you going?”
“That’s funny,” Claire sneers, “I don’t recall you filling us in your little plan, so why would we give you the same courtesy?”
The elevator opens with a chime, and they both step inside. The last thing I see are the silent tears falling from Lily’s eyes and Claire giving me her middle finger.
“We’re assholes. Complete idiots,” Lev is grumbling under his breath with his head braced on the counter. “Fuck.”
“Are you okay?” Griff asks me.
“No,” I say as I look down at the sparkling engagement ring in my hand.
10
LILITH
The gray November sky blends into the angry Atlantic as I walk along the shore of Ivy’s family beach house on Martha’s Vineyard. I’ve been staying here for six weeks. I decided to withdraw from college for the semester, let myself have a minute to breathe, and get my bearings without constant reminders of Connor and the guys.
Levi wore me down with his relentless calls three times a day, every day. I let him come spend a weekend up here with me after only ten days. In order to see me, he had to promise not to tell Con or Griff my location. I’m not lying to myself though, I’m well aware my two favorite psychos probably have an idea of where I am every minute of every day somehow.
When Levi showed up, he came bearing letters from Connor. They reminded me of early on in our relationship when he would text me quotes or sweet things in an effort to get me to trust him. I know that he and I will reconcile; me leaving them was meant to be a message. I’m not going to be pushed out of the big decisions because they can’t come to me like big boys. The last letter I read from Connor stated that he would come for me and explain everything in person.
I think he needs this time, too. I obviously don’t know details, but whatever happened was serious enough to cause nightmares. From what Levi has told me, he’s just a hermit right now. He works out twice a day but does almost nothing else, only goes to classes for exams.
Griff has called, texted, or emailed almost daily. He sent Levi to me with flowers, my favorite chocolate, and a picture of us after a half marathon we ran together a year ago along with a heartfelt and hand-written apology. It was enough to get me to agree to let him come see me this weekend.
I look down at my watch, actually Connor’s watch that I stole when I left, and see that I need to get back to the house. The ferry is probably just about to dock. I pick up my pace over the sandy beach, letting the crashing waves calm me down. Something electric is in the air, I feel the buzz on my skin. I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel more alive than I have since the night of my birthday.
I walk up the wooden boardwalk that connects the property to the beach and see a car already in the driveway. He must have caught an earlier ferry. I was out walking around for quite a while. I pull open the sliding door and yell out his name.
No one answers, so
