He looked down at her and sighed. “I just said I’d get Duke. No going outside alone, so I’m getting your father—you know, the other rancher in this house.”
“Aside from me.”
“You’re out of commission for the time being, Sarah. You know that. Now, the evening chores need to be done with what little daylight we have left.”
Still she didn’t let go of his arm. “Don’t do anything stupid. Promise me.”
He looked at her and hated how much worry was there. How valid it was. “I don’t have a death wish.”
“Anymore.”
He smiled a little, if only because it was fair enough. “Anymore,” he agreed. “It has to end, and I’m the one... I don’t have a letter. I should have been first.”
“He warned you. You got an ‘it’s not over’ letter.”
“I should have been first. I wasn’t. We got two sentencing letters in one morning—and one wasn’t for me. I’m the only one who’s met Anth. Who even knew he existed. You’re the one who said there’s a pattern that has to mean something.”
“So what if it does?”
“Sarah. At some point, this has to end.”
“That doesn’t mean you’ll be the one to end it alone. We have to end it together.” She gave his arm a shake as if to get through to him. “So, promise me.”
He didn’t know how to promise her something so nebulous. Especially when she didn’t mean don’t do something stupid, she meant don’t get hurt. He couldn’t promise that.
“I love you,” he said instead, because there was a very good possibility of getting hurt, and she deserved the words. “And I love our baby. I absolutely want to be around. I’m not going to run off half-cocked because I’ll let my guilt force my hand.”
“But?” she demanded, tears heartbreakingly filling her eyes.
“But, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my family. I have to.” He placed his hand over her stomach. Any day now, that baby would be born. Any day now, he would have a child in his arms. His own. “I’ll do everything I can to survive, but survival means nothing if we don’t win.”
“It’s not about winning.”
“Maybe win is the wrong word. I don’t know what the right one is. I want you all safe. I want this over. I want a life. We all deserve one. If I’m the target or the center or the purpose, I can’t wait around for him to decide how to end it. You’re going to have this baby any day now. We need this danger taken care of. Now.”
She blinked up at him, a tear falling over on her cheek. It tore him in two. Even if she’d been a little more emotional since she’d gotten pregnant, it didn’t ease the pain of seeing her cry. Of knowing he was making her cry.
He wiped away the tear for her and she sniffled. She shook her hair back and glared up at him. “If anything happens to you, I’ll kill you myself,” she said, and then stalked away from him down the hall.
Dev blew out a breath. He wished he could be swayed by her emotions or her threats, but in the end he’d do what he had to do.
Chapter Sixteen
It turned out Sarah didn’t have to kill Dev. Yet. He and Duke returned from the evening chores without incident—though Sarah didn’t trust the look they gave each other as they came inside.
Sarah let everyone bustle her off to bed. She didn’t sleep, but she lay there, eyes open. When the contractions tightened her belly, she watched the time. They were sporadic, and as long as they were, there was no way she was telling anyone about them.
Not while Dev was so determined he had to be the one to solve this horrible problem. No, she couldn’t leave him.
He came in halfway through the night after his turn as lookout and slid into bed with her.
“Nothing going on,” he murmured as she snuggled into him.
“Good.”
“Sleep.”
She didn’t. It was too hard with the worry on her mind and the contractions popping up without warning. She couldn’t be shipped off to the hospital. It was terrible timing. Baby would just have to stay put. Besides, he wasn’t due for another day.
She’d power through. She’d read tons of stories about women who’d had long, elaborate labors. Who’d had contractions for days and days before going to the hospital. She would be fine. Especially for her first time, she was certain her actual delivery was a ways off.
It had to be.
Christmas Eve dawned, pearly and snowy. Sarah gave half a thought to how bad the roads would be to get her to the hospital. But it wasn’t like a whiteout blizzard or anything. It was just a slow-falling snow that kept accumulating.
She wasn’t going to be dumb. She’d tell everyone with more time than she needed. Maybe when her contractions were ten minutes apart. Or if her water broke. That would be her guide.
As the day wore on, lookouts and chores interspersed with Christmas crafts and baking with the girls, she was certain she was right. She could go an hour without having a contraction. Although then they usually sped up for a while after one of those hours before tapering off again.
But they did keep tapering. They weren’t regular exactly. And no one noticed. As long as no one noticed they couldn’t be that bad.
She was pretty sure Dev and Duke had something up their sleeve every time they went to take care of ranch chores, but they always came back. No sign of anything. Except that look they gave each other.
Sarah lumbered into the living room after dinner. She’d tried to go to sleep early but she was antsy and uncomfortable.
All her sisters, except Cecilia, were wrapping the girls’ presents from Santa. Cecilia was stationed outside the sleeping children’s room as lookout.
All the men decided to do a sweep of the property while the women prepared Santa’s arrival. Which left Sarah feeling even
