Mulling over her words - I wonder at the truth of them, knowing it’s foolish to have hope, but recognizing the burn anyway. I want Colt to want me as much as I still want him, but is he even capable of it?
Who knows - and I’ve spent far too much time digging into this already. I should be focusing on finding the answers I seek regarding my stalker.
*****
I’m no closer to solving my issue when I arrive at school Monday morning, but I am more confused than ever about Colt.
I finally broke and texted Teddy, who informed me that Portia was all the rage, the pre-Sarah who Colt dated.
The boys’ friendship became strained with Portia and eventually broke altogether with Sarah, a bond formed in kindergarten. After Portia apparently chose Colt, they dated for a while before finally moving on from each other, and she disappeared the following summer while hanging out with her friends at the beach, never to be found. Horrible that.
I skimmed over my plans regarding my stalker issue, just mentioning a few tidbits of information I gleaned, most of which went nowhere, and Teddy promised to keep an ear out for anyone who may be angry with me. I feel bad keeping things from him, but everything is so fucked, I don’t know which way is up.
When I enter first period, Colt’s in an incredibly playful mood, giving me heated stares, which I ignore. More and more, I wonder about this newest girl and the psychology behind the effect she may have had on him.
It’s stupid, but I can’t help but wonder. Was Portia the cause of his personality change? His dad? Sarah? All of them?
After an excruciating morning of my cycling thoughts, I search him out for more information. It’s not ideal, but he’s the only one who can set the record straight, but he’s deep in conversation with some bitch with big boobs and hair when I find him.
He’s leaning into her intently and doesn’t see me standing beside him. Backing away quickly, I disappear before he notices, my heart clenched painfully in my chest. This wasn’t for my benefit. He didn’t know I was around, which means he’s moving on, and it's devastating, but what can I possibly do?
The next day, I ice him out so completely he becomes agitated and corners me in the hall outside of class.
“What’s up, Princess? You seem a little off?” he says with a smirk, but I recognize the anxiety behind his eyes.
“I’m fine,” I mutter, looking over his shoulder, stonily.
Even now, my pulse is speeding through my veins at his proximity, and I hate that he still has the power to hurt me.
“Really?” he says, grabbing my chin and forcing me to face him.
“What do you want?”
“I want to know what’s got you so bitchy.”
“Bitchy?” I scoff. “You humiliated me in front of your friends, Colt. And let’s not forget about the creepy-ass dolls!”
Rolling his eyes, he says through clenched teeth, “I’m not your fucking fan, Finn.”
Although I’m pretty sure he’s not, I’m angry and hurt, and I want him to feel my pain.
“Is that so? You’re a fucking psycho. You don’t feel!” I say, poking his shoulder. “How can I believe you when you’re fucking soulless?”
“Soulless? What the fuck? I didn’t fucking leave dead animals as gifts! Why would I?”
“How the fuck should I know!”
“Finn, what’s going on? You’re acting weird.”
Slumping, I whisper, “It’s too much, Colt. It’s all too much.”
“Oh, Baby,” he murmurs, his pale eyes softening. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you?” I mutter sourly, “Maybe you should tell one of your bitches, I’m not interested.”
Stepping away, I stalk to my car angrily, annoyed by my swirling emotions and Colt’s damn expression when he looks at me. How am I supposed to stick to my guns when he seems so genuine?
Ugh.
Colt’s back to his regular icy but heated self the next day, and it becomes a game to see if I can evade him. I think my jealous remarks were like waving a flag in front of a bull because he watches me wherever I go.
This includes glowering at me when Nate invites me to eat at his table, and I agree. The day is fraught with tension as a result, and with a little thrill, I realize it’s like foreplay.
He’s a smart one, cornering me at every turn, but by the end of the day, I’m exhausted and pull the bathroom card, hightailing it out of there.
I’ve received no new communications from my fan, but I sweat at the thought he could be watching me at any time. Does he know about my heated conversations with Colt? How fucking close is he?
By Thursday after class, I'm completely exasperated. Colt’s managed to switch seats in classes usually reserved by name, giving me cheeky grins and daring me to say something.
Ignoring him as best I can, I duck into the bathroom as we leave class, thankful when Hayden calls his name, and after waiting until it’s sufficiently safe, I emerge and walk to my car briskly.
Of course, the dick is leaning against it when I exit the building, and I can't help the smile curling my lips. It’s not funny, but it is. Fucker.
Nate stops me at the door, and I turn as he emerges with his bright eyes and adorable dimple. “You wanna go get pizza? Me and a few others are heading over there now?”
Glancing at my car, where Colt is still leaning nonchalantly, his stern gaze moving between Nate and me, I feel a thrill rush down my spine and turn back to Nate with a grin, “Can I get a ride?”
Nate grins, and I follow him around the side of the building, jumping in
