I understand why she did what she did, I do, but we’ve stepped back in our friendship regardless. Although Melissa insisted, she came to like me and valued our friendship - there’s still a seed of doubt that lingers. She led me down a trail at Teddy’s whim, and I fear I may never be able to trust her again.
Perhaps with time, I can forgive and forget, but there’s been too many lies, too much subterfuge and pain for me to consider it now. I get her fear, but I told her more than most and followed her around while she pretended to be my friend. How much of it was real? I just don’t know.
Apparently, Teddy’s assertions about Sarah were also true. Teddy reeled her in after she came to Northside High, and soon, she was creating mayhem wherever she went, including revealing Colt’s family secrets when she felt her tenuous grasp on him slipping away.
When I came along, and she saw Colt’s interest in me, she convinced Teddy to play the game. Their sole intent was to scare the shit out of me and terrorize me for the fun of it, but somewhere along the way, Teddy’s game morphed into a sick obsession that turned him from a diabolical little shit with no moral compass into a raving fucking lunatic. Lucky me.
When Sarah realized Teddy didn't plan to let me go, she lost her shit, and as a result, Teddy lost his. And when he realized we were getting too close to the truth and I was isolating myself more and more to the point where he couldn't get to me, he set Nate up to take the fall, hoping I’d be on that fucking camping trip. I knew I should've skipped out. I hate fucking camping!
Poor Nate has since been released, and I can see from his pale, quiet demeanor that something about all of this broke him too. How could it not? Someone they all knew and went to school with murdered multiple people without remorse—sick shit.
We’re two weeks away from graduation, and I’m looking forward to whatever comes after with Colt by my side.
Now that this is over, our need to be together is feral, and we refuse to be apart. Maybe Maggie senses it, and that’s why she hasn’t put up a fight, or perhaps she’s given up since I’m eighteen. Either way, I’m grateful.
Colt hasn’t mentioned his stepmother, but I know from something Celia said offhandedly that his dad is pursuing a divorce - major shit, considering he stayed married to her for years. Either way, I’m glad Colt is on the other side, and I can see in his demeanor that slowly he leaves those pieces of his past behind as we share our love for each other.
Today we’re going to see my mom. I want Colt to be there because he’s just as important to me as she is, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. The last time I was there, Ben attacked me, and the memories create a knee jerk reaction I can’t erase.
Ben’s dead, left in that cabin Ramie escaped from, and although I don’t know the particulars, apparently Ramie took matters into her own hands and defended herself to the death - literally.
Even knowing he’s gone, I can’t stop the unease, but I can’t put my life on hold, and I can only hope with time, the fear that comes out of nowhere and takes my breath away will fade.
So, on a sunny June morning, we stop before her grave, and I stare at her small plot, the familiar ache of loss clenching my chest, but this time, Colt’s here, and he squeezes my hand.
With joy in my heart, I say softly, “Hey, Mom. This is Colt.”
If he’s surprised by my conversation with an inanimate object, he doesn’t show it, and we settle beside her in the grass.
The day is both beautiful and poignant. While she will always be a part of me, in some ways, it feels as though I am letting go of the past. Now I can embrace my future, and if the light feeling bouncing around in my chest is anything to go by, it feels perfect.
After spending hours with her, Colt takes me home, and we make love, desperate to come together. It’s beautiful and sweet, tender, and amazing, and I cry when he holds me after, so very grateful to be here with him.
We made it through, not just from Teddy and his evil intentions, but Colt’s past and his fears about not being good enough, not to mention my own battle with being exactly what everyone wanted me to be, at the risk of physical punishment.
We’re still here, and this gives me hope for our future, for I can’t imagine him not being in it.
Epilogue
It's the week before we graduate, and as per North and Southside tradition, we’re gathered at the beach for a weekend of debauchery.
“Hey, Baby,” Colt says, wrapping me up in his arms from behind.
He’s healing well but has a nasty scar to show for it and assures me with a wicked grin that it makes him look badass, even so, I see the way he sometimes becomes pensive and brooding. We’re all recovering from emotional wounds that have left scars far more profound than the physical ones.
After I took off into the woods, whoever shot Colt, which is still unknown, took off too and is probably the one who hit me over the head soon after. The guys trussed up Colt as best they could and headed for the road, but not before attempting to find me.
By the time they found a passing car, Colt had to be life-flighted to the nearest hospital. I think Colt regrets not being there for me, but I don’t because he’s alive.
“Hey,” I breathe, hugging his arms to me.
We came so close to losing each other, it’s made
