Holy fucking shit, this is insane!
Another chime.
A.W.: Would be hotter if you were around though. Which reminds me, what are you doing tonight? I want to see you again.
I groan and prop an elbow on the table and press my hand against my face, staring down at the line with dread. He’s asking me this because he wants to know if I’m…
I sigh. While it’s been phenomenal – and surreal – to be contacted by a man that’s been in my thoughts the last three weeks, there’s a fine line between reality and imaginary.
Ivy Montcalm: You know my situation, Aidan.
A.W.: I’m not asking to eat you out. I’m asking to TAKE you out. Big difference, beauty.
My cheeks heat up. God, he’s vulgar.
Ivy Montcalm: Even TAKING me out is pushing it.
A.W.: It’s not a date. It’s a catch up. Two friends.
Ivy Montcalm: Friends that haven’t spoken in three weeks and only did for 6 hours?
A.W.: Nice to know you’ve been keeping track of the time. ;)
A.W.: Just one innocent dinner. You and me. In an open, social environment. Good food, some light alcohol. I’ll send you back home once we’re done. Scout’s honor.
Ivy Montcalm: You were a boy scout?
A.W.: No, but it makes me sound like a decent individual with honorable gentlemanly motives. Is it working?
Ivy Montcalm: No. I know the arrogant and vulgar man that you really are.
A.W.:From recollection, you love that. Don’t you remember the way your face heated when I told you the things I was capable of doing to you? I remember it vividly, the way your eyes glazed over, begging for more of my words. I’m inclined to think you’d have let me take you right there in your seat. Imagine the headlines: “Man Gives Woman the Turbulence of Her Life!”
Ivy Montcalm: :/ …. How is that meant to convince me to see you?
A.W.: It’s not, but I made you think about it, right?
Ivy Montcalm: Aidan…
A.W.:Just come out with me tonight. I promise you’ll enjoy it. We’re in the same city. I’m not an axe murderer, remember? I love my bodies warm, not cold and rigor mor´tis.
A.W.: Unless that’s your thing.
A.W.: I’m open minded.
While smiling at his dark humor, I don’t respond for many minutes. I really thought I’d never speak to him again. That he’d forgotten my last name and couldn’t look me up like I’d told him to. I was relieved initially, especially when Derek had been snooping around my stuff and watching me like a hawk. How would I explain myself if Aidan had contacted me? Derek would have known we shared some kind of… moment… in that plane, and he would have flown off the handle.
At the same time, I wasn’t going to jump into thinking I was hot shit. After some time, the best way to go forward was believing you were just a potential notch on a hot man’s bedpost.
Another chime.
A.W.: You know you want to (wiggles brows suggestively).
I don’t even know I’m doing it until it’s done. I think about how I could skip seeing Ana and see him instead, and it could be my little secret. Harmless conversation, right?
Wrong.
I swallow hard. I thought being alone with my thoughts couldn’t make me worse of a person, and now I’m thinking of skipping a hangout to see a guy. It’s like I’m some teenager sneaking out of my bedroom window and hoping my parents won’t find out.
No matter how shit things are between Derek and me, it’s not right doing this just yet. I can’t fall into another person while my life is a mess. It’s not appropriate. Aidan is a temptation I’m too weak to resist.
I have to do this the right way.
Ivy Montcalm: Sorry, Aidan. I want to, but I can’t. Maybe ask another girl for an “innocent” dinner. Surely there are a surplus of beauties around you.
A.W.: Afraid you’re the only foul-mouthed beauty I’ve had the pleasure of meeting who isn’t a money hungry barbie doll. That’s alright, beauty. Thought I’d give it a shot. Maybe some other time.
Ivy Montcalm: You know, you can always talk to me via here anytime you’d like. :-)
I wait for him to respond, but he never does, and I have a feeling I’ve disappointed him. I throw the rest of my sushi away and get back to work. I hate that I’m glum. I hate that I’m disappointed. And I hate that I can’t stop thinking about him all day long.
Seven
Ivy
“Just let it go,” I tell him, flipping through the pages of my math textbook. I’m so bored with life, I’m studying for my entrance exam even though I haven’t even scheduled it yet. It’s a little pathetic.
“I’m just saying,” Derek retorts, bending over to grit his words out in my ear, “I’m the one that works the hardest between us. I’m out there getting dirty every fucking day, Ivy. I don’t stand there and make people beautiful. I deserve a little more for a fucking allowance, don’t you think?”
I sigh and shut the textbook hard. I look evenly at him, and I don’t see that handsome man I fell for when we were teens. That blonde hair and those blue eyes used to make me go crazy with mad need.
Now they make me want to rage.
“Derek,” I say, trying my best not to lose my cool, “I’m on my feet all day too. We make pretty much the same income, so don’t give me that bullshit, alright? It was your idea to move into the city, and now we’re paying through our noses just to have this stamp size apartment. Because of that, we can’t afford all the luxuries of before. We’re already a week behind on rent. If you go out and piss away money on a night drinking, then we’ll
