He’s silent and I smile. But it is a sad smile. Regretful. ‘It’s okay, Rafael, I understand. I just needed to hear you say it.’
‘I don’t want to be that weak, Faye.’ He stresses the words. ‘Never that weak.’
I place my palm on his chest, both sympathetic and distraught in one. ‘I do understand.’
I kiss him because I can’t help myself, because I can’t walk away without feeling his lips on mine once more. As I drop back, I bite back the tears to say, ‘But please understand that I can’t continue this. I have to go back to my life. It’s better for us both.’
‘I’m not asking for a lifetime, just a week or two or...’
My sad smile grows. ‘That’s just the thing, Rafael. I’d gladly give you a lifetime. I’d lo—’
‘What the hell?’
The exclamation comes from the open doorway.
Dani.
Shit.
‘I knew it! Cazzo se lo sapevo!’
My sister is steaming, shoving her sunglasses back from her eyes and storming into the room, slamming the door closed behind her.
‘How could you, Rafael? How the fuck could you?’
‘Calm down, Dani. It’s okay,’ Faye rushes out, turning away from me, a panicked hand raised up to ward Dani off.
‘It’s not fucking okay, Faye. You promised, Raf!’ She focuses her anger wholly on me, where it belongs, where I would gladly take it, if not for Faye still in the room.
‘Dani, you need to calm down,’ Faye says, still defending me.
‘Don’t tell me to calm down. You don’t understand.’
‘What don’t I understand?’ Faye steps between us. ‘You were all up for me having a little fun this week.’
‘With Dante, yes!’ she throws at Faye, as if it explains it all. ’But you know where you stand with him, not Raf.’ She flings a hand at me ‘He’s complicated, so deep and contradictory, so loving, so...so... Oh, God, Faye!’
She spins back to look at me and I’m motionless. My gut isn’t though; it twists and rolls.
‘He’ll make you think he can love you,’ she continues, ‘because how could he not? When he plays the perfect big brother, the fixer, how can he not be capable of falling in love himself?’
‘I know all this, Dani,’ Faye says quietly from behind her.
‘Do you?’ Dani flings back at her, desperate, panicked. ‘Because the look on your face tells me differently. The look on your face tells me you’ve fallen for him, Faye. It’s as obvious as your pain.’
Slowly Faye looks from Dani to me and inside my heart tears in two.
‘Tell me I’m wrong, fratello,’ Dani pleads softly. ‘Tell her I’m wrong. Tell me that you can love her, that you will do right by her?’
I can’t breathe. I can’t speak. The crushing force on my chest is crippling.
‘I don’t need him to say any of that, Dani.’
Faye’s desperate attempt to rescue me makes it worse. So much worse.
‘Don’t you?’ Her eyes spear Faye now and the door opens behind her. Tyler peers inside, hesitant, concerned.
‘Babe?’ He scans the room, his eyes settling on Dani. ‘The car is here to take us to the airport.’
Dani just stands there, her eyes shifting to me, torn, angry.
‘It’s okay.’ Faye reaches out for Dani. ‘You need to go. Everything is fine here, I promise.’
She pulls her into a hug and Dani looks at me over her shoulder. ‘How could you?’
‘I’m sorry,’ I try. ‘It wasn’t planned. I didn’t...’
I flounder because what can I say? There’s no excuse I can give her that’ll make this all right.
‘Go,’ Faye softly urges. ‘Have a fabulous honeymoon and we’ll catch up when you return and all this... It’ll be forgotten.’
My sister squeezes her eyes shut. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Stop it.’ Faye gently pushes her away and Dani hesitates before striding up to me. She pulls me into a tight hug, her whisper for my ears only.
‘Do the right thing, fratello, please.’
I don’t even know what the right thing is, not any more, but I nod and watch her leave.
‘I should go too,’ Faye says into the sudden silence and my eyes snap to her.
‘No! Please...reconsider?’
She looks at me as if I’m crazy. ‘You still want to ask that of me?’
‘It’s out there now. Dani knows; we can be honest, open. Spend some real time together.’
‘Having fun?’
‘Yes,’ I say, quietly hopeful, desperate. ‘We work well together, we have fun—more fun than I’ve ever had with any other woman—and I... I’m not ready to pass this up.’
She laughs softly. ‘I am, though, Rafael. I’m ready. I want more, so much more than you can give. I want to find a man who can love me as I love him.’
‘Love...’ Nausea swells and I have to swallow ‘Why does it have to be about love? Why can’t it be about fun? About great sex?’
‘Sex isn’t the be all and end all.’
‘Okay, a relationship, then. We can be exclusive, a couple, until...’
‘Until what?’
I can’t put words to it.
‘Until this chemistry fizzles out, right?’
‘Yes.’ It’s awkward. A strange confirmation when it’s something I can never imagine happening. But it will do. It must do. ‘I don’t know. I just know I’m not ready to end this now.’
‘And, like I said, I am ready.’ There’s a strength to her now, a resolve that scares me. ‘The longer this goes on for, the closer I come to...the closer I come to falling head over heels for you, Rafael. And I know you never promised me anything, that it was just a bit of fun, but I’m afraid my heart didn’t get the memo.’
She’s already walking to do the door.
‘Faye!’
She turns to look at me, eyebrows raised. ‘What? Are you going to tell me that you’re falling for me too? Are you going to tell me that Dani’s wrong about you? That you were wrong and that you do want more?’
Silence. Save for the rush of blood whirring in my ears, my pulse surging with my rising panic, my legs weighed down like lead.
‘Goodbye, Rafael.’ Her voice is so quiet. ‘Thank you for the heavenly week. No regrets, si?’
And then
