"Dude. This is unreal. Un-fucking-real," Tommy says.
"I'm on my way over. You guys stay there," Lars tells him then ends the call. Instead of dropping his hand in his lap, he places it on my leg and gives me a squeeze. "I'm sorry."
"It's ok. I'm just glad the baby is ok."
About five minutes into the drive, I break the silence. "Has anything changed, Lars?" I freeze as I wait for his response.
"Everything's changed, babe. We don't have to leave anymore. We can stay in Redwood. That son-of-a-bitch is dead." He shouts all too excitedly, "He's fucking gone."
I nod with a sly smile. "Yeah. He's gone. But what about us?"
"What about us?"
"What happens now that we're staying? People will judge you—judge me."
Cocking his head to the side, he looks from me to the road. "Is that what you're worried about? Willa, it's you and me. You, me and our baby. Fuck everyone else."
I smile again, and this time, it’s not sly, forced, or fake. "Yeah. Fuck everyone."
"Willa Jean Mack. Did you just say fuck?"
"Yeah, and it felt really fucking good." I slap a hand over my mouth and giggle.
"You naughty little Christian," he teases.
Switching to a more serious note, my smile fades. “We still don’t know who left that message or came to my house.” I look at Talon who glances back and forth from me to the road. “Do you still think it was Zed?”
He takes longer than I thought to answer, which leads me to believe that he doesn’t think it was Zed. I almost feel like I would have been more satisfied if he said yes. At least that way I would know.
“Honestly, I don’t think so. For whatever reason, Zed wanted to help you. I’m not sure why. Don’t think he knew about what happened to you, but it’s like he empathized with you. I could see it in his eyes—heard it in his voice—when he found me at your old house.”
“Well, what’s your guess then? Rick?” My shoulders shrug. “Maybe Madison was lying?” It’s more of a question than a statement because he’d know better than I would, the lengths that girl would go to.
“It could have been any of them. Even Vi. Apparently you can’t trust her as much as you thought you could.”
I nod. He’s right. It could be anyone and there’s a good chance that I’ll never know who it was. Doesn’t matter anyways. I’m putting the past behind me and moving forward.
Willa Jean Mack is gone. I'm not the same girl I used to be. Lars changed me that night three months ago and every night after that. I'm learning that it's ok to say fuck off. I don't have to be a doormat or hold back my feelings. I'm allowed to push back and when the world wants to know why I'm so quiet, I'll scream in their face at the top of my lungs. I have a voice now and you can bet your ass that I plan to use it.
26
Two weeks later
There are three things that I know for certain: the pastor is dead. Zed killed him. Now Zed is gone.
We thought it would be best to attend school like usual. Treat the day normally and relinquish all suspicion. It would be totally feasible for Willa to take some more time to mourn the death of her stepdad and his actions, considering no one knows what she went through with him, but she's here. She's wearing a smile with her head held high.
Willa and I have been staying at my dad's house. Even spent Christmas with my dad, and to my surprise, it was pretty laid back and I actually enjoyed his company. I can't even remember the last time I sat down and had dinner with the old man.
After Margo, the housekeeper, cleared the table, Dad brought out gifts. And when I say he brought out gifts, I mean for his granddaughter. Mountains of clothes, and pretty much anything a baby needs that isn't a necessity. To say he's excited is an understatement. I know he didn't personally pick any of it out, but he's making an effort.
The cafeteria is exactly how I remember it. Crowded, loud, and smells like ass. The walls in this place hold some good memories, but going virtual was the best choice I ever made.
Truth is, I was failing. Fucked off at school, fucked off at home, and I needed to get my head on straight. Granted, staying with Talon didn’t give me that boost of motivation I needed, but the lack of distraction helped.
Talon and I had the grand scheme to try and do better so we could get into a good school with Tommy. We knew that Zed would be working for his dad and staying in Redwood. At least, that’s what we all thought. Talon and Tommy are smart as hell. My grades are mediocre, so chances are, Willa and I will stay local and raise the baby in Redwood.
I can see that Tommy heeded my advice to befriend Willa. Didn’t want to force him because she’d think I was trying to make her friends, but I pretty much told him to take her under his wing. They’re sitting at the same table I sat with the guys at every day for lunch. Willa is sandwiched between two of the biggest full backs the Ravens have ever seen. Tommy says something that makes her laugh and I feel myself smiling along with her. She’s so fucking cute. How I never saw it before boggles my mind. Maybe I did and I just never allowed myself to explore it because she was an outcast—the quiet girl who was sheltered. I know now that she put her walls up so high because she didn’t want to be seen. At least, not in the way people were looking at her. But, I see her now, and I love what I’m looking at.
As if she senses my presence, her
