“So you trust him? A vampire you don’t know?”
“Yes.” The word came out quiet but sure because I did trust Matias. When he vowed to me he’d never leave my side, I saw how earnest he was. He wouldn’t lead me astray or teach me things only to use me as a weapon. “He’s not here to hurt me or use me, unlike the majority of the people here.” I sighed, all the fight leaving me. My fangs retracted back into my mouth and Xan watched it happen. “You’ve been in a bad mood since I woke up a vampire on top of everything else going on, and I get it, I do. I’m sorry that being mated with me puts you through this. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect shifter mate you always hoped for and I’m beyond sorry you have to deal with the fact that I have two other mates out there. I hate that you’re at odds with your dad and society because of what I am. I’m sorry for all of it. You don’t deserve any of it.”
He stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, unmoving. After a few seconds I could see the anger behind his eyes crack just a bit, but not enough to feel confident in our relationship. We had only been together for a month and it was crumbling around us. I was foolish to think it’d last, especially with all the obstacles getting thrown up in our way, just as my dad predicted.
I decided to give Xan the only thing I could. A choice.
I sighed and turned away toward the house. “I told you I wouldn’t mate with Ronan because you didn’t want me to. I’ll make the same promise to you about Matias, but he is going to stick around and I will be asking him for help too, because I need it. If you don’t want to deal with it and everything I’m going through, I understand. There will be no hard feelings.”
I didn’t wait for him to respond, I just walked away from the first and the only man who had ever conquered my heart, so he could make the decision that could forever change our lives.
* * *
I walked into the house through the kitchen, grabbing a glass of blood from Matias in the kitchen as I went by. He held it out to me, knowing what I’d need, and did it without a word. His kindness was unnerving, but something I desperately needed at that moment.
I gave him a small smile and continued on my way up the stairs to my room. By the time I reached the bedroom, the glass was empty and my body was a little more satisfied. At least there was that.
I sat on the balcony for almost an hour, listening to the waves as they crashed against the rocks near the house, but Xander never came. Sounds of people talking below me grew louder, letting me know it was time for dinner. A lot of things had changed, but the need to be around others during those few times stayed the same, even if I only drank blood.
I walked through the bedroom, turning off the light and opened the door to the hallway, stopping short. There, leaning against the opposite wall was the dragon I was longing for. His hands were behind him as he leaned backwards into the wall and his gaze was on the floor.
“How long have you been out here?” I asked, shifting from one foot to the other.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t like it, Emi,” he told me. I held my breath as he continued. “I don’t like it at all. The distance, the change, the new guy, any of it. I know none of this is your fault, so I’m trying not to take it out on you and I’m sorry I’ve been doing that. I wasn’t mad at you about it until you tried to get me to leave you.”
I stepped forward to go to him and furrowed my eyebrows, but was stopped in my tracks by his look.
“That’s not what I was doing,” I told him. “I was giving you a choice.”
“Oh, I know what you were doing, love, and I still don’t like it. You see, I don’t have a choice. I never did and you failing to see that pisses me off.”
“Xan, I don’t want you to be with me out of obligation…”
“You still don’t get it.” He pushed off the wall and stood directly in front of me. “I don’t have a choice because I can’t survive without you. You’re my world and I’m with you, through the good times and the bad. I’ve told you over and over again, and you still don’t get it. What is it going to take to get you to understand? I’m. Not. Going. Anywhere.”
I felt my lungs constrict and I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I broke eye contact and looked away, feeling ashamed. I wasn’t trying to push him away. I was trying to do the only thing I could for him after everything that had happened by giving him the choice, but standing there in the hallway, I knew the choice had hurt him even more.
I nodded my head without saying a word and fell into his strong chest. He gently wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me in even closer.
“Do you get it?”
“Yeah, I get it. But you didn’t ask for any of this…”
“And neither did you. Tell me, if you had a choice to walk away from me if our positions were reversed, would you?”
“No. Never.” My answer fell from my lips before I had a chance to fully think it through. But even after I was able to think
