Nan, Aunt Clara, and I shook our heads.
One less thing to worry about. All I had to do was bury my dad.
40
Guests gathered at the cemetery as we paid our last respects to Dad. His golfing buddies, coworkers, some neighbors, Mia, Grady, Georgia and her parents, and Mr. Dyson were a few who were in the crowd. Colton’s mom couldn’t make it. She was still in South Carolina, but had relayed her condolences through Colton.
Aunt Clara stood on one side of me while Nan was on the other. Since we’d walked out of the attorney’s office three days prior, I’d been a bundle of nerves.
I swiped at a tear then another when a hand landed on my shoulder. Then Colton’s voice was in my ear. “I’m here.”
I knew he was behind me. I swore he was the only reason I wasn’t draped over Dad’s coffin. I zeroed in on the priest, who I’d tuned out. I’d been mindlessly staring at Mom’s headstone next to Dad’s coffin. I’d replayed some of the laughter, love, and good times we’d had as a family.
Despite the time I’d had to say goodbye to Dad, it still hurt like hell to stand there and mourn the best father ever, the man who had raised me, loved me, and taught me so much about growing up. Randall Lawson would always have my heart, and he would always and forever be my hero.
I knew he was in a better place, free from what ALS had done to his body. I prayed that he was talking up a storm in heaven and telling jokes to everyone.
“Go in peace,” the priest said as he closed his Bible.
Guests started to scatter. I didn’t blame them. Ominous clouds were rolling in as the earthy smell of rain permeated the air.
I didn’t move. I didn’t want to. The last few hours had been exhausting as people paid their respects. So I hadn’t had a chance to be alone with Dad to say my final goodbyes.
“Your aunt and I will meet you at home,” Nan said. “Colton is giving you a ride.”
I acknowledged Nan with a dip of my head, not looking at her.
Colton slid into Nan’s spot and laced his fingers in mine.
I lifted my gaze, and warm brown eyes met mine. “Can you give me a minute?”
He kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll wait near my truck.”
Once alone, I walked to the coffin and placed my hand on top. “Dad, I know we had time before, but I feel like we didn’t get enough of it. I want you to know I’ll be okay. Nan is now my guardian, and so far, she’s been great. She reminds me so much of Mom.” I dashed away a tear. “Your sister is nice too. To be honest, and I never told you this, I always thought she was snooty. I was wrong. She does love you.
“Anyway, I met my birth mom. I haven’t talked to her yet but plan to soon. I’ll let you know how that goes. I love you and want to say thank you for adopting me and for being the best father a girl could have.” I cried quietly as I slid over to Mom’s headstone. “You’re now with the love of your life, Mom. You and Dad will forever be in my heart.” I shuddered, wiping my nose with the tissue I had balled in my hand.
After one last look at Dad’s coffin, I made my way to Colton. He looked as handsome as ever in his blue suit, white shirt, and blue tie. His wavy brown hair hung free to his shoulders, his jaw was clean-shaven, and he gave me the most heart-stopping grin I’d ever seen on him.
I almost faltered as I trudged through the soft grass and around headstones. I warmed at how much he loved me, and I loved him. Yet the closer I got to him, a sense of fear set in. All I’d ever known was my parents, who had taken care of me. Now, I was on my own. Sure, I had Nan, but it was different. I couldn’t quite articulate the feeling except to say I was afraid of the unknown road ahead.
Colton opened his arms as I approached.
Shuddering, I buried my head into his chest and cried. He was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. He was and would always be the hope I’d been searching for.
41
Halloween came and went. Georgia, or rather her mom, had canceled her plans to have a party. Her parents hadn’t wanted kids trampling through their house while they were out of town. Georgia had been disappointed. She’d thought the Halloween party would get me out of my funk, but I didn’t care either way.
It had been well over two weeks since Dad’s funeral, and with Thanksgiving approaching, I was feeling even more depressed. Dad had loved to cook turkey with all the yummy sides. Nan suggested we do just that and celebrate Dad.
We’d invited my aunt, who had flown back to California not long after we buried Dad, but she politely declined. She was scheduled to be in Australia for a couple of months for her job. I didn’t think I would ever see Aunt Clara again. I couldn’t say I was affected one way or the other.
Nan and I had settled into a nice routine. We were gradually clearing out the medical equipment and supplies and donating them to the local chapter of the ALS Association and a couple of other charities in need.
