I sighed in exasperation. Obviously, there were no men out there like that. At least, I sure hadn’t found one yet. But that was not what I was looking for on this trip. This trip was about finding myself. I had been so lonely of late, and it always felt like there was a piece of me missing. Maybe this trip would help. At least, I hoped that it would.
There was no way that I was telling Jessica that a one night stand was not happening. Finding a man to fuck was not the reason that I was heading to Arizona. I did not want to explain to her that I was going to find myself either. I was afraid she might laugh.
Something was just missing in my life, and I needed time alone to figure out what that was. Time alone and a change of scenery was all that I was looking for. A man was not on the list of things I needed right now.
I had been adopted when I was just a baby, and though I loved my adoptive parents as though they were my biological parents, there was still something missing. Sure, I had tried to find my birth parents, but after numerous dead ends, I finally had discovered that my biological mother was dead. There was no record of who my father was, and I now knew that I would never get those answers.
Giving Jessica a hug and a sincere thank you for driving me here, I headed towards the security check. Flying was not my favorite thing, but I did have to admit, I was excited about this vacation. I had never done anything like this before, and I thought it was kind of sad considering that I had just turned twenty-eight.
My life hadn’t been boring, but when I was with Sam, he had just been too busy with work. He would have never made time to take a vacation with me. He traveled so often with his job, and it had always made me kind of jealous that he had gotten to see so much while I was left sitting at home.
When it was finally time to board the plane, I looked around at the other passengers who I would be sharing the flight with. There were people of all ages, from old to just toddlers. I watched the couples who were together. Some held hands, others stood in line with their heads close together, carrying on a private conversation.
I felt the sigh escape me as I watched a little girl in pigtails reach for her mother’s hand. She had a huge smile on her face and was obviously excited for this adventure. Her mother smiled down at her lovingly. Someday, maybe I would have a family of my own, but I kind of needed a man for that, and I was definitely not looking for a man.
I had always wanted children. My adoptive parents couldn’t have any children and that was why they had adopted me. I had always wondered why they had not adopted more children after me, but any time I had brought up the topic, they never wanted to talk about it. I had finally given up asking them.
Siblings would have been nice. A sister to giggle with and share secrets with. Even a brother would have been okay with me. Maybe I wouldn’t be feeling so alone right now. However, Jessica had pretty much been the sister that I never had.
When I heard the announcement on the overhead speaker, I realized that I had fallen asleep during the flight. The altitude always did that to me, and I was grateful. I definitely had not been interested in talking with the stranger beside me.
I stayed in my seat as the other passengers made their way off the plane, just observing the scenery out the window. There was really no reason for me to hurry off the plane. No one was waiting for me in Tucson.
When I finally stood from my seat, I stretched my arms and legs then grabbed my carry-on from the storage compartment over the row of seats. Then I made my way to the front of the plane.
Once I reached the baggage claim inside the airport, I realized that I had missed all the “welcome home’s” that many of the other passengers had received from family and friends, and I was grateful. It would have just made me feel more alone.
My suitcase was already on the luggage carousel when I approached, and I waited for it to come back around. Grabbing it, I attached my backpack to it and made my way to the rental car agency. I had already arranged for a car to be waiting.
An hour later, I was pulling up to the resort entrance. I looked around me as I drove up the long drive. This was way different than Kansas City, that’s for sure, but I actually loved the rugged desert look. Well, I mean, it practically was the desert, but the mountains in the distance caught my attention.
I would love to take a hike in the mountains and get lost for a few hours. Good thing I had brought my hiking boots. Once I had decided to come to Tucson, I had done my research. There were numerous places that I wanted to check out while I was here, and I could not wait to immerse myself in nature.
After checking in at the main building, I made my way to the villa and to the room that would be home for the next two weeks. Each villa held four suites, and the villas were each separate buildings that dotted the landscape. This place was beautiful, and the smile never left my face as I approached my room.
When I opened the door,
