She knew that his whispered words weren’t part of the game but were meant for her, the real her, making her chest tight with the sweetness of them. It was the sheer tenderness in his voice that sent her over the edge, her clit spasming and her pussy rippling around him as pleasure stormed through her, making it impossible to breathe or think. Making it impossible to do anything but feel. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she knew that it no longer belonged just to her. A part of it belonged to Sebastian now.
He groaned and drove into her with a few halting thrusts of his hips, his cock flexing and pulsing inside her. He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to hers, his breathing heavy. For a moment, she just held him, their bodies connected. When he opened his eyes, she knew the game was over from the playful warmth shining out at her.
“Holy shit, baby,” he breathed, kissing her softly. “Holy shit.”
“Mmm,” she murmured in agreement. “That was so unbelievably hot.”
He kissed her again. “Thank you. For being open and trusting enough to do that with me.” She sighed, melting into him as he kissed her and kissed her, his cock stirring a little inside her.
She wove her fingers through his hair, her forehead pressed to his. “I do trust you, Bastian. I do.”
It wasn’t a question of if she wasn’t going to fall for him, she realized. Only a matter of how hard and how fast.
17
For Sebastian, being back in the city after over three months away felt strange in a way he wasn’t prepared for. He’d grown up in Manhattan, had lived a huge portion of his life there and had always considered it home. But now, being back, it didn’t feel like home. It just felt like a place he knew, a place that was familiar but not necessarily his. He was pretty sure that Manhattan hadn’t undergone some dramatic change over the past several weeks, which meant that the city that he’d once called home felt different because he was different.
Which could only be a good thing, given how shitty his life had been when he’d taken off for Vermont without a plan. He’d been miserable. Absolutely, unequivocally miserable. His life had crashed and burned and he’d hated the man he’d become.
But now? He didn’t hate himself anymore, and he knew it was because of the work he’d done to turn his life around. He’d found a job that he actually liked. He’d reconnected with a lost part of himself. He was working on all of his impulse control issues and making progress. He’d fucked up his life pretty badly, and now, he was actually taking responsibility for his shit instead of blaming the world for everything that had gone wrong.
On top of all that, he’d found an amazing woman and had started to fall for her. Being with Kayla showed him that the man he wanted to be wasn’t out of reach. He felt so good when he was with her. So centered and happy. He never felt like something was missing, or that he needed to chase some adrenaline high just to feel good. Just sitting on the couch with her curled up against him while they watched a movie made him feel like he had everything he’d ever need, right there.
She was good for him, plain and simple. And for the first time in a very, very long time, he believed he deserved good things in his life. She’d given that to him. Kayla.
He liked to think that he’d been good for her, too. She’d stood up to Stammler, fired Davis, and seemed more confident and sure of herself than ever. He was proud of how brightly she was shining. Proud that a woman like that had chosen him.
He’d come into the city for his brother Max’s birthday and Kayla had surprised him by booking them a room at The Beekman so they could have their privacy instead of staying with Lucian or at Kayla’s place. She hadn’t wanted to traumatize Willa, she’d joked, but there was probably some truth to that statement given what they’d done to that hotel room. On the bed. In the shower. On the floor. Against the wall. They’d even accidentally broken a lamp. Not that he was sorry. Sex with Kayla was far and away the best sex he’d ever had in his life, and he loved that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. It was chemistry and lust, yeah, but there was also more to it than that.
It was connection. It was partnership. It was tenderness and passion and care.
Now, the night of Max’s birthday dinner, everyone was seated at a table in one of Lucian’s restaurants—he owned several, as well as multiple bars and nightclubs—this one an upscale steakhouse in Hell’s Kitchen called The Stonewall Chophouse. The interior was swanky and dark, with wood paneling and leather everywhere. Dim lighting gave the place an intimate glow as old school jazz played quietly through hidden speakers. The air smelled like searing meat and garlic, making Sebastian’s stomach rumble and his mouth water. It was classy and elegant, and more than anything, it made him want to take Kayla on a date someplace like this. Romantic and expensive and special.
“Hey, where did you go?” asked Kayla. She gave his hand a squeeze and he swore he felt his heart stop for just a second at how beautiful she looked tonight. She wore a soft pink dress made of some kind of floaty, silky material, the long sleeves sheer, the floor length skirt split with a thigh-high seam. The dress’s V-neck showed off her gorgeous cleavage, making him want to tug down the fabric and devour her.
And he would. Later. He could already imagine that dress pooled
