There was only one move left. I could never force myself in her life. If she didn’t want me, then it was time to move on.
11
finley
The car ride to the field in the morning was unusually quiet. I worked hard at not glaring at Shepard or scowling at August. Only Cooper didn’t deserve my scorn. But the other two? I mentally shook my head.
After Shep disappeared upstairs last night with Lacey, I’d gone back outside with Billy who regaled Kevin and Emily with the story about how I’d made the team. I had to admit, Billy was an excellent storyteller. He held their rapt attention, and we hadn’t noticed August and the two other girls had left the backyard. I’d done my best not to imagine anything happening in the bedrooms upstairs.
That morning August wasn’t in a joking mood. Neither he nor Shep acted like two guys that had gotten laid. Then again, what did I know about it? I was still a virgin. Maybe sex didn’t make you happy like the rumors led on.
We arrived at the complex, and I was still a little starry eyed. It was surreal that I was there, even more so when I walked into the boy’s locker room behind my brothers and Shep. Though I’d seen female reporters in NFL locker rooms, I wasn’t here to report the news. I was there to be a part of it and see if we could make a bowl game by the time the regular season was over.
“Farrow.” My siblings and I all turned. A guy not much older than I was pointed in my direction. He was the equipment guy and had taken my measurements yesterday. That had been awkward.
I walked over. He handed me a small card with a number written on it.
“That’s your locker. All your stuff is in there. Coach said you can change in the girl’s bathroom downstairs if you want.”
He pointed in the direction I should go. I walked past two aisles when I spotted my number at the end. There inside just like he said was equipment and a practice uniform.
As nerves started to get the best of me, I steeled my spine. I’d wanted this, which was why I’d prepared myself before the ride over. I blew out a breath, hooked fingers into my shorts, and then pushed them down. The boy shorts I wore were full coverage, hiding most everything I had to offer and were certainly more modest than a basic bikini. Still, I had to push past another jolt of fear when I removed my shirt. Again, my sports bra was super concealing. When it was done, I turned to the gawking peanut gallery.
“Never seen a girl before?” I said with fake bravado.
The crowd of guys just nodded, making low agreeable nonverbal sounds. I blew out a breath and did a slow turn. “Seen enough?”
Billy stepped into the aisle from the midway point further down.
“Put your tongues in your mouths, assholes, and get dressed. Meeting in five,” he said.
Billy obviously held massive respect because the guys turned and stopped focusing on me. I gave him a small smile, and he tipped two fingers from his temple to me in a salute. Then he was gone. I grabbed my shorts first because I wasn’t exactly sure how to put on the pads.
After I slipped them on, Shepard came from behind me and spoke. I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Need help?”
“Dear God,” I panted. “You scared the crap out of me.”
“Sorry. I just thought you might need a hand with that.”
He pointed at the shoulder pads that hung from the hook. They looked a little different than the ones other guys had on. I wasn’t surprised. Coach had muttered something about having to overnight Zena gear for me yesterday. I guessed that meant the pads left for me had a front protective area shaped slightly like boobs molded into the design.
“I do.”
I’d walked into football knowing the rules, having played it a lot, but never competitively.
“Put your T-Shirt on first,” he said, his eyes never leaving me.
Self-consciously, I folded my arms over my chest. His brow arched. I dropped my hands, but there was just something about looking up into his sky-blue eyes that made me feel naked.
I took the plain orange shirt with our school name printed on it and put it on. Then I grabbed the pads. I lowered them over my head and faced Shepard.
“Lift your arms.”
I did as told and shivered when he leaned in to reach for something attached at my back. He held two straps.
“These hook here.”
My mouth was dry as he hooked in the straps to the sides of the pad where my breasts were. Then he tightened them.
“If this isn’t tight, you’re not wearing it right.”
I nodded. Then he worked at the laces in between the pad. “These should be tight too.”
My skin was a live wire with currents zinging from his bare touch against my skin. Tingles danced down my spine, and I held in a shiver.
“That’s it,” he said, taking a step back.
Though he held my gaze, his focus dipped a little to my mouth, and I found myself rolling my lips in to lick them. They were suddenly dry to the point I thought I might need some Chapstick.
When our eyes locked once again, there was a moment, a space in time, I could have sworn he might have kissed me. But Billy broke that spell.
“Meeting time.”
I inched back, not realizing how close I’d come from lifting on my toes and pressing my mouth to Shepard’s again. Our one and only kiss, though spoiled from pity, still left me breathless when I thought about it.
Billy glanced between us, and I turned away from them both and headed off to the open area of the locker room I’d heard guys call the pit.
Coach clapped his hands together.
“Listen up, ladies.” He stopped
