“Ash does seem different,” I admitted.
He still didn’t welcome my affection. I’d been a hugger, but after Ash, I was more cautious of invading other’s personal space.
“Love. It can break you, but it can also make you,” he said.
I got to my feet, took the few steps toward Finn, and leaned down to kiss his cheek. For good measure, I gave into the urge and wrapped my arms around him. His good arm gave my back a squeeze before I moved back.
“Thanks for listening,” I said.
Some of the pressure I’d been feeling eased.
“No problem, and anytime.”
I held open the door, but he waved me off. I left with so much to think about. I had to decide if it was worth the risk to tell Shepard my feelings.
14
shepard
The door burst open, and August plowed through it, stilling my fingers on my guitar.
“So what happened last night?” he asked.
I’d hung out with Cooper most of the night wondering where Finley was and who she was with. When Billy showed up without her, I’d been relieved.
“Nothing, I just wasn’t feeling it,” I admitted.
“Well, you better be feeling it tonight.”
“August,” I said on a sigh.
He picked up my notebook. “Who is she? You’ve been off your game since we arrived.”
When he started thumbing through the pages, I reached for it only for him to hold it out of my reach.
“Don’t,” I said when he started reading some of the lyrics.
I put my guitar down determined not to have someone else looking through my private thoughts.
“Your eyes are like fire, your eyes are like gold,” he read.
He danced out of my grasp, and I got to my feet. When I spotted Finley in the open doorway, August noticed her too and rushed over, his face alight with amusement.
“Hey, check out the new songs Shep is writing.” He glanced up at me, turning pages. “They are new? This notebook looks new.”
I rubbed a hand over my head, not sure what to do.
“Who is Cricket? Is she the chick you’re into?”
I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off Finley. She glanced at my scrawled words then up at me. I swallowed the cotton that had formed in the back of my throat. For a moment, I thought why not just confess? It had been eating me up.
“You’ve been pulling my chain about Lacey. She’s the only girl you’ve been with that even remotely has those colored eyes.”
Angry he’d come to the wrong conclusion, I finally closed the distance as he continued to pour out my soul by reading more out loud. I snatched the book from his hands. Unfortunately, he had a grip on one of the pages, and it almost tore completely out before he finally let go.
The disappointment in her face muted any confession on my mind.
“Lacey,” she spat. “I shouldn’t be surprised. She is your type.”
Finley turned and made for her room as August continued to hoot at my humiliation like it was the funniest thing ever.
“Of course she is,” August agreed, but by then Finley had shut her door.
When August stepped out of my room to follow after Finley, I closed and locked it before he returned.
“Aww, man, come on,” he pleaded.
I ignored his muted voice and picked up my headphones, unable to make my own music at the moment. The noise cancelling headphones my mom had gotten me for Christmas weren’t Bose or Beats, but they did the trick. I hit shuffle on my playlist to drown out my latest failure when it came to Finley Farrow.
She thought I was into Lacey, which would only serve Billy’s interest in Finley. This time I couldn’t fight my way out of a problem. I stared at my bruised knuckles and thought about the only good thing my dad had passed along to me. He’d taught me how to throw a punch and duck one. A lot of good that did me when it was my words that had pushed her further away.
It was over a week later when a soft knock sounded on my door. It could only be one person. I leapt to my feet. She had been avoiding me for nearly two weeks. I hated the distance between us.
The door swung with a whoosh of air. On the other side stood the prettiest girl I’d ever laid eyes on. She barely met my eyes, still my heart kicked up into a gallop.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She finally lifted her chin and met my gaze squarely.
“I know you’re busy, but August and Cooper aren’t around.”
So I hadn’t been her first choice . . . I tried not to let that bother me.
“Yeah, they went to see that new Star Wars movie,” I said.
“You didn’t go?”
I braced one hand on the doorframe and shoved the other in my back pocket to stop myself from touching her. She was too close, and I could almost smell the sunshine on her skin.
“I thought it might be a good chance to work on my music with no one home.”
Her smile brightened.
“I’m sorry I missed it. I love to hear you play.”
As her cheeks pinkened, I wanted to grab my notebook and write down a new line for my current song. Something along the lines of the way you look at me is prettier than any rose that has ever bloomed.
“That’s one vote, but somehow I think you’ve been outvoted by August and even Coop.” Her grin turned a little sad, and she nodded. “So what’s up?”
“I wondered if you’d have time to go help me practice my kickoffs.”
I wondered what had happened that made her want extra time.
“Yeah, sure. Now?”
“If you can’t, later is fine.”
“No.” If she only knew all she had to do was ask and I’d jump. “Give me a minute to change.”
Those lips I desperately wanted to kiss again curled only slightly, giving me pause. Something was up.
“Okay, I’ll grab my cleats,” she said.
She turned so abruptly her bound hair
