I nearly sighed in relief. But I did not let up.
"Then how could you allow it to happen?" I asked, aghast. "How can you let Victor just— do that?"
"Because I can’t stop him," he said slowly. "He’s a Dark Acolyte. A talented spellcaster. More than I’ll ever be. I never wanted him to come here. When the Infernalis told me they were sending a Dark Acolyte, I was elated. But then they told me about him— about his actions— I tried to ask for someone else. Someone not as despicable as him."
"And they… rejected your request?"
"Yes." His eyes flickered for a moment as he said it. He rested his forehead on his palm as he continued.
"They told me to bear with his tendencies, for he was young and brash. He was wanted for heresy and the attempted murder of an Earl’s daughter in the Holy Xan Empire. He sought refuge from them, so the Dark Crusaders took him in."
"But why?" I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "Why would you accept someone like him?"
"Because," he started with a sigh, "we offer protection to anyone who faces oppression for using magic, and we ally with anyone who opposes the Holy Xan Empire. Victor was both of them.
"So we sheltered him, like a King that protects its subjects when an enemy nation invades. It does not matter if among the plethora of citizens, one is a criminal. The King will fight to protect all of his people."
"And that excuses him? Excuses what he does?" I folded my arms and spoke accusingly. "Is everybody in the Dark Crusader a monster? Are there no morals here other than right is might?!"
"No," Gerritt exhaled slowly. "Power is good, it lets us— gives us the capability to— achieve justice. But senseless acts of violence— intentional maliciousness— is not right. If our members commit such acts, they will be punished and forced to reform. But, Victor is one of few exceptions."
"It’s because he’s talented, isn’t it?" I made the inference by myself.
The Orc nodded.
"It is the unfortunate truth. He has only been studying magic for a few years; and for more than half of that time, he was self taught. No teacher, and few books. He has great potential— they believe he could become something like the Fiend at the rate he’s learning."
I felt my stomach twist hearing my mom being compared to Victor… to a rapist. It was nauseating, but I swallowed the bile that tried to force its way up my throat. "And just because of that, everyone is willing to turn a blind eye?"
"Not everyone. Outside of the Infernalis, only myself and other Dark Commanders who previously worked with him are aware of his actions. "
"That’s besides the point, and you know it," I said. But deep down, there was a small sense of relief knowing that Karna and the others were unaware of Victor’s behavior.
"I know." Gerritt rubbed his temples, and chose his next few words carefully. "This is a contentious issue, even in the Infernalis. Among those who are aware of Victor’s behavior, many of them find his actions to be revolting. However, the others believe that sometimes, it is necessary to make some compromises, Melas."
"You told me that before. But this isn’t a compromise— it’s just wrong," I stated my position clearly.
"Perhaps in a certain lens, yes. But consider this: if we rejected Victor— left him to his own devices. He would still do what he’s been doing, no?"
"But that’s…" I hesitated, as I realized where the Dark Commander was going with this. He continued.
"It’s still wrong, and the outcome remains the same," he agreed at first, before adding. "Except, if he were a Dark Crusader, the Infernalis could direct his actions. Prevent him from indiscriminately harming every young woman, to only harming our enemies. And we can even limit how often he does it too.
"In fact, that is what we’ve done; after all, a compromise requires both sides to make concessions. This way, the outcome is different. It’s wrong, but less so. And we help protect those who could fall victim to Victor."
He finished, although he did not look wholly satisfied with his own argument.
My jaw worked slowly. "But you’re sacrificing the rest."
"No," he said simply. "We’re saving those we can."
I looked at Gerritt, unable to say anything; if there was a hole in his argument, I could not see it. And yet, there was something there. I did not know what that ‘thing’ was, but I could feel it. It was… wrong.
"So you’re not going to stop him?"
"I want to help you, but it’s not possible." He shook his head. "Ignoring the fact that he’s also receiving special treatment, Victor is a Dark Acolyte. You’ll make an enemy of all the Dark Crusaders if you try anything foolish."
I clenched my fists and spoke indignantly. "But my mom— the Fiend’s my mother."
"That does not matter. It does not grant you any kind of special immunity. Listen, Melas." The Orc spoke clearly. "The Infernalis may be the leadership of the Dark Crusaders, but they are not a single monolithic entity. Some people within the Infernalis admire and respect your mother, but others do not."
"Why not? Wasn’t she in the… Shadow’s Evangelium?" I tilted my head to the side.
"Yes, she was." Gerritt nodded. "But not everyone looks upon the Shadow’s Evangelium so favorably. They made many mistakes. Each attempt at rectifying their mistakes only led to more failures. After a while— whether it was out of frustration or something else— their actions became so drastic and extreme it was clear they were only heading towards the path of destruction. The Dark Crusaders may have been born from the remains of the Evangelium, but that does not mean we will excuse their shortcomings."
That made
