No, there are periods that sometimes go on for years where I gut through the debilitating depression through sheer fucking strength of will. Today I can feel it coming after me fast and hard. And outer space doesn’t have Prozac.
As much as I love the salty taste of Stryker’s skin, I hate the salty taste of my tears. I pound my fist on my thigh and try to pull myself together.
I’m going to have to do it. I’ve avoided it since the first day we met. I thought if he followed my rules, we could keep what we have within my set parameters. But I’ve hurt him. I know it. I don’t know how I deluded myself for a year, pretending what I was doing was okay.
Before I fall into the deep chasm of the worst of my depression, I’ve got to send him away. I’ve got to save him from me, protect him from the black hole of my emotions and my need. He’s too good; he deserves so much better, better than me. I don’t want to drag him down with me.
I hurtle off the bed, perform the world’s quickest shower, and skid to a stop in my kitchen within ten minutes.
I cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for all souls onboard every day of the year--nonstop. It keeps me as sane as I can get. And I get accolades, which helps, even if some days it feels like they’re praising someone other than myself because I’m cocooned inside myself so far I feel hollow.
Around eight a.m. when everyone rolls in, I put on my Maddie persona and do my chef thing. As far as anyone on the ship knows, I’m the happiest female they’ve ever met. I don’t talk, I sing. I think I developed it by watching Oprah who kind of sings her words sometimes. Only I do it constantly.
My depression is my little secret. No one knows. I didn’t even divulge it to Dr. Drayke. I’m certain the galaxy doesn’t understand human serotonin and dopamine. I mean, we’re illegal up here, except that it seems everybody and their brother are abducting us.
“Biscuits and gravy,” I call cheerily to the dining room, which is half full. “Eggs will be there in a minute.”
Click on Stryker’s cover to order now.
Who’s Who and Glossary
Galaxy Gladiators:
Zar and Anya—The feline captain of the Fool’s Errand and Anya led the insurrection against their masters and freed all twenty slaves on the original ship. They are loving life mates.
Shadow and Petra—Shadow could pass for human except for his bionic parts, although he’s from planet Morgana. His mate, Petra, is a hairdresser.
Tyree (Tie-REE) and Grace—Tyree morphed from a three-foot-tall non-sexual being to a huge alpha male. His mate, Grace is known throughout the galaxy for her ethereal musical compositions.
Devolose and Tawny—(Dev-AH-lose rhymes with dose) This mated pair left the Galaxy Gladiators to join Dev’s cousin, Thantose, in the Galaxy Pirates series.
Dr. Drayke sun Omron (AHM-ron) and Nova—Nova came aboard after her arm was sliced off in a gladiator fight. Originally an MMA fighter, after she was abducted from Earth, she was trained as a gladiator. She now assists her mate, Drayke in medbay.
Axxios (AXX-ee-ose), Braxxus (BRAX-us), and Brianna—All males of this species are born as twins—one silver and one gold. The gold of the pair is more dominant. They fell hard for Brianna, a BBW massage therapist with a heart big enough to love them both.
Sirius (SEAR-ee-us) and Aliyah (aa·LEE·ya)—Born a geneslave with genetic material from different animal species, Sirius found his mate on planet Nativus. Aliyah was an Earth girl abducted young and nurtured by her native father. Her mother and father’s story is told in the novelette, Jax-Xon.
Dax and Dahlia—Dahlia was ripped from her life on Earth just days before her wedding. She had to adjust to life in space before she could realize how compelling her feelings were for huge gladiator, Dax.
Beast and Aerie (EH-ree)
Beast and Aerie joined the crew when they and three others were rescued from a slave ship. Beast is a Premier Gladiator (one of only ten in the Galaxy), and Aerie was stolen from her life as a Sports Attorney. She had a love for Louboutins and now prefers flipflops with chartreuse alien eyes.
Ar’tok (ARE-tock) and Star
Ar’Tok had just been freed from jail right when he was rescued from a slave ship along with Beast and Aerie. A shy male, he meets human Star through midnight comms. Their love blossoms concurrent with Wrage and Elyse’s book. This couple are not in the bang district, though. They’re on the more respectable part of the planet. Happy Blessed Peace Day.
Wrage (Rage) and Elyse (uh LEASE)
Recently freed from slavery as a gladiator, Wrage heckles Elyse mercilessly in her position as a slave singing in a bar. Elyse agrees to Wrage’s drunken marriage proposal, believing it will garner her freedom from both him and her owner. Little do they know that on the Pleasure planet there is no such thing as divorce.
Galaxy Pirates:
Sextus (SEX-tus) and Lexa
Sextus and Lexa begin on very bad terms and are throw together on a planet where she has to be subservient to him. He redeems his previous bad behavior by risking his life to save her. They were mated on his planet, Ceruleous.
Thantose (THAN-tose) The ‘th’ is pronounced like the ‘th’ in thought and Brin
The captain of the pirate ship had no desire for a mate until his protective instincts, and libido, were brought to life by Brin. Thantose
