Like Fergus, I came out first. He was granted primogeniture and I was granted life. I didn’t dare ask Mum if a caesarean would have saved him. I’m sure in the past it had crossed her mind too.
Boom, boom, boom, the dinner gong sounded. I dried my eyes and said a prayer. Oh Lord, give me strength not to get so upset.
‘You’re very lucky to have married into this family,’ said Felicity to Zoe at dinner. ‘It’s sooo interesting. Such a lot of history in those paintings.’
‘Isn’t there just.’
Felicity swung her head one hundred and eighty degrees and was now grinning at me. ‘Don’t you agree, Susie?’
‘Yes,’ I said, and although I was smiling back my eyes were watching Ewen and Louis who were sauntering into the room. If it wasn’t a help-yourself-to-the-lamb-casserole-on-the-hotplate affair their tardy arrival would have been noticed. But everyone was shiffiling and shuffling, taking care not to slop their full plates as they chose a seat at the table. Felicity had sat next to me, and much to my relief Ewen, not Louis, sat down on my other side. I think Louis has been flirting with me (and me with him a bit) and although some fun this week would be exciting, it’s only Monday, I don’t want to rush into it.
‘It is a treat being here,’ said Felicity before I could so much as nod at Ewen.
‘I agree. We are lucky to be in such a beautiful place.’
‘I hope you won’t have us painting the river again,’ she tittered. ‘Pretty as it is, it was a struggle.’
‘Don’t worry, we’ll be visiting a new place each day.’
‘Oh good-eeee. I’m so pleased Jane persuaded me to come here.’
I smiled; it was nice to see Felicity looking happy. ‘You and Jane must live quite near each other?’
‘Oh yes, neighbouring villages, although we always meet in Margaret’s house, she’s the one who started the club and has a sitting room big enough for us all. Are you a member of a book club, Susie?’
‘No, but I like the sound of them.’
‘Such fun, we all bring a bottle and some nibbles, it’s more about the social than the book. I try to listen to whatever it is in the car, I never read them.’
‘Do you drive a lot?’
‘I used to take my husband to his train every morning and collect him in the evening so that made it easy, but now hardly at all.’ Felicity blinked back a tear.
‘I hope your daughters live near you?’
‘Terribly close and they’re ever so good to me.’ She took a large gulp of wine and instantly perked up again. ‘Tell me, Susie, is there a man in your life?’
‘Not a steady one.’
‘It won’t be long, I’m sure.’
We both took the break in conversation as a good moment to tuck into dinner and when Felicity raised her head and looked at Zoe I grasped the opportunity to turn to Ewen.
‘Susie,’ he included me, ‘Rupert on my left here was just telling me he knows where our cutlery comes from.’
‘My wife,’ said Rupert, ‘couldn’t believe it when I told her I was eating off the silver that caused such a hoo-ha on my very first job.’
‘Red trousers here,’ said Ewen, ‘tells me my father bought the contents on the cheap.’
Rupert guffawed. ‘I’m teasing you. It wasn’t his mistake. The land sale I was in charge of fetched a penny or two but the wet-behind-the-ears chap selling the contents agreed a price without putting it past the owner. Legally he couldn’t go back on his word.’
‘Well done, Pa,’ toasted Ewen with an empty glass. ‘Can’t say he has much else to show for the money he spent.’
Rupert chuckled. ‘The likes of these,’ he held up his knife and fork, ‘won’t keep Fergus and Zoe in their old age.’ He then filled up our wine glasses and turned to his left to talk to Lianne.
Zoe stood up. ‘I’m just going to get some more water,’ I heard her say, ‘I don’t know who left an empty jug on the table.’
I gave Ewen a prod with my elbow.
‘Whoops, that was your fault for distracting me.’
I smiled and he watched as I put a forkful of lamb casserole into my mouth.
‘You’ll never get any continental food here,’ he said, ‘but it’s all delicious, that’s for sure. I wish I had someone to cook for me.’
‘You live down the back drive, don’t you?’
‘Glamorous, eh?’
‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ I apologised, embarrased.
‘I know.’
‘It’s nice you live where you grew up. It is your home.’
‘Was my home.’
‘Sorry, was,’ I teased.
‘Hey cheeky,’ he said and then out of the blue, he asked, ‘Are you a twin, Susie?’
My eyes glazed, my heart beat and my tongue clung to the roof of my mouth. I must not cry.
‘So sorry, so sorry,’ whispered Ewen, ‘I didn’t mean to bring it up.’
‘Bring it up?’ I said with total surprise; how could this man possibly know?
‘I am familiar with problems between twins, you know.’
‘Yes, of course.’
I was snappy because I was sad, and Ewen had touched a nerve. But he doesn’t know this. I must be nice, and hey, dinner’s when I’m meant to be working this man out. So, I went for it…
‘Do you find it difficult living so close to the house you grew up in?’
‘It’s a bigger issue than that.’
‘Go on…’
‘You go first. There are too many questions coming my way.’
‘My twin died at birth.’ I said it. Straight out. No wobble of my vocal cords
