When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I pushed off the couch and put on my shoes. Fresh air couldn’t cure everything, but maybe a breeze would convince me the moisture collecting at the corner of my eyelashes was just dust blowing in my eyes.
“Hey, Tamra.”
I nearly groaned. Eva. The last person on earth I wanted to see. Perfect Eva, with her flawless family and lovely husband. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and tried to project calm to cover the unhappiness.
“Hi, Eva.”
Something about my tone tipped her off, and her eyes narrowed. “You okay?”
I shrugged. “Pretty sure I’ve been stood up.”
Her nose wrinkled, and her brown eyes were sympathetic. “I’m sorry, that sucks.”
“Yeah, yeah, it does. Another sign that I’m completely forgettable. Strange. Awkward.”
Eva snorted, and I glanced her way. Was she laughing at me? Now? I hated her a little more in that moment. It wasn’t her fault her life was perfect, but I couldn’t help resenting her for it.
“I remember those days,” she said, surprising me.
“What days?” I asked.
“The single ones.”
I shook my head. “Come on, you were never single. You came out of the womb with a guy on each arm. One trailing behind to carry your things, and a fourth up front to fetch anything you wanted. Your husband probably fought a duel to the death against a slew of competitors to win your hand. I mean,” I gestured to her body, “look at you.”
She shook her head, and her lips twisted. “Not true.”
“Bull,” I scoffed.
She laughed. “No, really. My parents were strict, and I was shy. I wasn’t allowed to date. By the time I did, my peers were light-years ahead of me in experience. Every date ended badly.”
“For instance?”
Maybe it was ghoulish of me but reliving her pain might ease mine.
“I had a date ditch me at a restaurant,” she said.
My mouth rounded. “No, way. What an asshole.”
She laughed. “Yeah. I can laugh at it now, but at the time, not so much.” She looked at me in the gloom. “Maybe someday you’ll laugh about this one.”
I shook my head, rubbing my chest. “Ah, I don’t think so. Not this one.”
She shrugged. “Then he’s the one missing out.” She winked at me. “After all, I only surround myself with top-shelf strange.”
We wished each other a good night, and I smiled as I went back inside. Talking with Eva had soothed some of the restlessness that had prompted me to go outside. Chase may be a jerk, but my neighbor was not. I’d underestimated Eva. Her kindness was the balm my soul needed. She reminded me that friends could fill your heart with a different kind of glow when disappointment hit. True friends offered the warmth of acceptance and support. I needed to try harder to be a friend to her.
I was contemplating turning out the lights for bed when my phone finally lit up with a call from Chase. Nervous that it might be emergency personnel or a friend calling to tell me something terrible had happened, I answered tentatively, “Hello?”
“Tamra. I’m glad you’re still awake. I’m so sorry about tonight.”
It was Chase’s voice on the phone, and he didn’t sound mortally wounded. I went from fearful to furious in record time. “What happened to you?” I asked, trying and failing to keep the emotion out of my voice.
He sighed. “I’m so sorry. I got wrapped up in my writing and lost track of time.”
I looked at the phone in my hand. After midnight. WTF. I guess that told me how important I was to him. Seriously? I shook my head, unsure how to respond. There was suspecting you didn’t matter to someone, and there was having it confirmed. I hit “end” on the call, hanging up on him. In a fit of pique, I navigated to the block option on his contact in my phone and confirmed the action. There, done. We’d see who was forgettable.
That night I tossed and turned, trying to come up with more tolerable reasons for Chase to stand me up. He had explosive food poisoning. Okay. Car breakdown along the side of the road and a dead cell phone. Acceptable. Unanticipated kitchen fire resulting in hospitalization for smoke inhalation. Absolutely. Nowhere in my list was fictional people were more exciting and interesting than you. I got enough of that kind of rejection and antipathy from my family, I didn’t need it in my romantic relationships too.
The next day I received a text message from Vanessa, and it was a welcome distraction.
Vanessa: Can you meet me for lunch this week? We didn’t get to spend much time together at the wedding. I’ll get a sitter and everything.
Tamra: Sure, sis. I have Thursday off if you want to meet up then? I did some switching around this week with another nurse.
It felt good to have something to look forward to and kept me from thinking about Chase. Or at least that’s what I told myself. Over, and over, and over ... I’d blocked his contact on my cell phone, but that didn’t stop him from trying to contact me via Twitter. He sent me a direct message apology note, reiterating that he was sorry that he let himself get swept away in writing, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy my anger.
When messages didn’t work, he even tried to sway me with gifts. At work, for the first time ever, I received flowers instead of a patient. The peachy roses tipped with red were gorgeous. I didn’t need the card to know he chose them because I’d admitted they were my favorite while admiring my sister in law’s bouquet at the wedding. If the flowers had been for
