I held up my hands, unwilling to take anything. “Did he send you with this?”
I hadn’t heard from Chase in weeks and thought he’d finally gotten the message that I didn’t want anything to do with him. My pulse raced to realize he hadn’t forgotten me, but was actively thinking about me, even when I had ignored him.
Jimmy shook his head. “No. He doesn’t know I’m here. I think you should read it. I can tell he’s truly sorry. It’s forced him to transform his life. I’ve gotten my friend back.”
“Oh?” Hope bloomed in my chest. Jimmy seemed sincere. And grateful.
“Chase is living more in the moment. He’s started clocking his hours and setting alarms for things he needs to remember. He’s less a lost little boy and more of a responsible grown up.”
“Okay?”
Gladness. That feeling floating inside me, I put a name to it. I was glad for Chase. But those changes didn’t necessarily have anything to do with me. Not if he hadn’t reached out himself. Then again, it was me who had put a stop to his overtures.
Jimmy continued, “It’s all for you. I mean, not that you’re in the picture anymore, but he changed for you. He’s trying to prove he can do better. Be better. For you.” With that, he looked deep into my eyes, his chocolate brown ones pleading.
Jimmy was a great friend, but he couldn’t proxy for Chase. What was he waiting for? For me to forgive Chase because he asked nicely? Groveling aside, he wasn’t Chase.
“You’re welcome?”
He blew out a sigh. “Anyway, I wanted you to know. I hope you’ll read the book. You’ve been a good influence on his life; I can only imagine what he’d accomplish with you in it more permanently.”
Gina couldn’t keep silent anymore. “Look, Jimmy, is it? Tamra and I need to wrap up our shift. I’m glad you care enough about your friend to try to help him, but why isn’t he here himself if he’s such a changed man?”
Jimmy huffed. “Your girl there blocked him.” He shrugged. “I may have also told him it would be stalking if he showed up at her work after she asked him to leave her alone.”
“And you’re here why?” she asked pointedly.
“Because I believe in love?” he answered with a lilt in his voice.
It was Gina’s turn to glance at me sideways, like “are you believing this?” The sad thing is I wanted to. I missed Chase.
“If nothing else, I want to say thank you for being the reason he decided to change. Goodnight, ladies. Thanks for letting me say my piece.”
He slid the book on my desk and sauntered down the hall. Even Gina watched him walk away. You’d have to be dead not to notice how he filled out his uniform. He had Captain America’s ass.
I glanced down at my desk. The Wedding Date by Virginia Rothman. The title mocked me from the cover. Our wedding date was the source of my best and worst moments in recent memory. I shook my head, but Gina picked it up and tucked it in my bag. I raised my brows.
“You’ll thank me later.”
That night as I dug for my house keys, my fingers scraped along the book in my bag. Was I going to read it? Almost certainly. Curiosity burned through me. I made myself a quick grilled cheese, then settled in on my couch with the advance copy and a cup of tea.
I flipped through the book until I hit the dedication.
“To T: Thanks for inspiring me and helping me become the best version of myself. I couldn’t have done it without you, and honestly, I don’t want to. I hope someday you’ll forgive me.”
My heart softened; the inscription was clearly for me. I’d never imagined a book dedication from him. Chase had helped me become the best version of myself too. Maybe he wasn’t the catalyst, but he’d been part of my journey. First, as a supportive friend, then as my date to Nick’s wedding. Had I been too hasty, too angry over childhood hurts, to see things clearly when he stood me up? He’d asked for forgiveness. According to Jimmy, he’d put effort into changing. I loved a good grovel, dammit.
I spent the night devouring Chase’s story. His words read like both a love letter to me and wish for the future. His character “Tina” was clearly meant to represent me, and her author love interest “Chet” was Chase, right down to the self-absorption and offbeat sense of humor. I wasn’t sure if I should be amused or turned on that his version of the kitchen interlude both excluded any panty ripping and ended in orgasms instead of sister-shaming. Gina and Vanessa would pick up on the similarities, but I could only hope the rest of my family would remain oblivious. It was a fictionalized version of our story, but I inhaled it, reliving some of our best moments. And our darkest. Reading Chase’s ode to “Tina” and seeing “Chet’s” transition from workaholic to thoughtful partner on the page warmed the dark corners left by his neglect. He could write his redemption. But could it be real?
It was nearly five in the morning when I shut the back cover.
His words, his vision for the future had seeped into the cracks in my heart. If he could grow and change as much as his story and Jimmy claimed, then I could give him another chance. Waiting in the shadows hadn’t done me any favors. Spending time with Chase had felt like soaking in the sun. He’d warmed me from the inside. I’d taken the first few steps to grow on my own, but his support had
