“I meant a quiet place at home, and you know it. But what kind of pain are you talking about?”
He struggled how to tell her about what had happened. “Mom, some kids at school are making fun of me because I like to sing. They say I should play sports instead of doing music. I hate them.” He smacked the water.
“Honey, hate is a strong word. We have to be very careful with it.” She dried his eyes with one of her soft, lavender-scented handkerchiefs.
“But I don’t like them. They’re mean. And at least I’m not telling them they stink at soccer or tennis.”
“I’m glad you don’t, and I’m proud of you for being the better person. Sometimes people say hurtful things because they don’t know what else to say.”
“But they don’t say those things to Sabrina. And she likes to sing and dance.”
“Yes, she does. But we live in a world where some talents are tied to a certain image. Classical singing or ballet dancing are seen by many as a female prerogative.”
“What’s a pregotive?”
“A prerogative? It means a right or a privilege reserved for a certain group of people.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Please don’t use that word either. But you’re right. It’s very wrong. And artists like Luciano Pavarotti, Fred Astaire, Mikhail Baryshnikov, and many more have exceptional talent and have proven those people wrong.”
His mom pulled him into her arms then, even though he was a big boy and too old to be hugged in public. He didn’t care. His mom and dad made him feel safe. “What does Dad tell you at least once a week?”
“He wants to be able to hit a ball like Frank Thomas.”
“Well, yeah,” his mother laughed, “but what else?”
“Oh, to find something I enjoy and follow my dreams.”
“And is singing something you enjoy doing?”
“Yes. I want to be a famous singer when I grow up.”
“Then do it.”
The voice of a tour guide brought David back to the present. Sitting in this park right now, twenty-five years after his conversation with his mother, he could still feel her arms around him.
His parents were the best role models he could imagine. They showed their children how crucial it is to fight for what’s right, and to never accept prejudice and hateful behavior.
What would his mother say if she knew how he had ended his relationship with Stella? He only told his family they weren’t seeing each other anymore. His parents expressed their regret but said nothing more. His sister, on the other hand, called him some things which would make a sailor blush.
David checked the time. Ten o’clock. He took a deep breath. Still plenty of time. His eyes were on the fountain in front of him, but he didn’t see the glittering drops of water shooting up in the air and collecting in the basin.
He thought about the demands of his career.
In the fall of 2016, after being on the road for Broadway tours for six years, he won the contract for the lead role of The Phantom in a permanent stage production in Hamburg, Germany, an opportunity he’d be crazy to refuse. His career was well established in the United States, and he was used to seeing his own masked face on billboards or magazine covers.
Being onstage in Europe would skyrocket his international fame. The little boy who was harassed by classmates stood on the biggest stages worldwide and sang his heart out.
He told Stella about the opportunity while he was in Philadelphia for a week and hadn’t yet accepted the offer.
“Are we going to see each other while you’re in Germany? How long do you have to be there?” she asked. “Flying to Europe isn’t as easy as flying within the States.”
“The contract is for six months, and I don’t know what’ll happen afterward,” he answered.
“I don’t want to stand in your way or hold you back,” she looked up at him and he could see it wasn’t easy for her to say.
“I have no right to ask you to decline such an incredible offer. You’ve worked too hard to get where you are. Just as I worked too hard to get my degrees and my job. I can’t imagine leaving the Library Company any more than you can imagine not performing onstage six out of seven days a week.”
“I love you more than anything, Stella.” David fought back tears. “You have no idea what it means to me to have you support me this way, to have you encourage me to accept the contract.”
“If you turned it down, you’d regret it for the rest of your life. Six months will fly by. Our love is strong enough to survive this. I believe in us, and I’ll wait here for you.”
He left for Hamburg in December 2016, and for the next six months they didn’t see each other in person.
In May of 2017 he signed a contract to perform in Budapest for six months. He flew to the States for an eight-day visit and told Stella. When she asked him, “And what are your plans after Budapest?” his honest answer was, “I don’t know.”
But not long after he arrived in Budapest, he began to ask himself if it was fair to Stella to keep her waiting. How many more times would he have to tell her “I don’t know?”
He was constantly on the move. She had her roots firmly planted in Philadelphia, like those old trees in the parks she loved so much. And what could he offer her? A life racing from city to city, from hotel to hotel.
He loved Stella with his whole heart. But the fear of losing her was starting to plant tiny seeds of uncertainty in him.
And a few weeks later, in July 2017, he wrote her a letter.
Just thinking about the atrocious thing made him feel sick to his stomach. He couldn’t take it back—no matter how much he’d wanted to every blasted day
