“You want to get to know me at a crowded party with people that, as a rule of high school hierarchy, don’t like me?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Really.” I eyed him. “So everyone isn’t going to look at me like they do when I’m here and say the exact same things they do while we’re here, right? Things are going to magically change because we’re not at school anymore?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“You’re not stupid, Evan,” I said, my voice quiet. The door opened, and his head immediately snapped in that direction, and I clenched my jaw. “So stop thinking the best of your friends because different scenery won’t change the things they say to me or how they treat me.”
He looked at me, shifting uncomfortably and fidgeting as Brittany walked into the classroom.
“Hi, Ev!” Brittany squealed, prancing over to him and leaning against the edge of our lab table. “You know, I was thinking that maybe we should go out tonight.”
She popped her gum, flipped her sleek blond hair over her shoulder, and giggled in a way that reminded me of an over-excited chipmunk. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, leaning an elbow on the table and resting my chin in my hand. I stared out the window, disappointed at how quickly I seemed to disappear from his radar.
He didn’t want us to be seen talking, that much was obvious, but he wanted to get to know me somehow. This whole thing only solidified my thoughts about the orchid being a complete joke. I didn’t understand why he would invite me to a party to “get to know me” but couldn’t seem to bring himself to let the same people that were throwing the party see us talking at school.
I listened to Brittany and Evan flirt with each other, my heart sinking further in my chest when I realized that no matter how many times I told myself that I didn’t like him anymore, I still did. I was as stupid as the rest of the girls in this high school, and there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do about it.
I didn’t notice when my other classmates started piling into the room, barely listened when Mr. Streeter called us to attention, and definitely didn’t look at Evan the entire forty-five minutes that I had to be there. When the bell rang, I realized I had no idea what went on, and didn’t know what we had to do for homework. I mechanically got up from my stool and gathered my books. Staring straight ahead, I walked out of the classroom and into the hallway.
At lunch I sat with Christina and Vince. I’d been sitting with them practically since kindergarten. They both had study hall first thing in the morning and had taken the option to have their parents write notes to get them out of it. We barely saw each other in the halls before lunch. They didn’t know about the orchid—at least, they didn’t mention anything to me if they did—and I wasn’t ready to tell them the whole story just yet. I needed more time to work it out on my own before I brought my friends into it.
Plus, pretending that nothing was out of the ordinary almost made me forget that the opposite was true.
Dad was home when I got there, and I automatically made dinner for us. He wasn’t a very good cook and while he did try his best, it usually ended up with the smoke detector going off. I had learned the basics of cooking from watching my mom do it, and when she was gone, I had taken over the responsibility of cooking.
We sat in silence as usual until I declared that I was done and went upstairs to start my homework. Around five thirty, the phone rang, and I ignored it until Dad called up the stairs that it was for me. I moved sluggishly down the stairs, offering him a small smile as I took the phone.
“Hello?”
“Um, hi, Arianna.”
I didn’t even have enough energy to slam the phone down, as I should have.
“Can I help you?”
“I, uh . . . are you all right? You just . . . you didn’t seem like yourself after—” He stopped.
I stared hard at the floor. “How’d you get my number?” I finally asked.
“I know how to use a phone book. Are you all right?”
“Peachy.”
“Did I do something?”
“Why would you think that?”
“You were just . . . you don’t normally zone out like that is all. I just . . . Arianna, did I do something wrong?”
“Listen, Evan.” I sighed. “Whatever you seem to want to pull off won’t work if you’re too embarrassed to be seen talking to me. I’m not a secret, and I refuse to be yours.”
“You don’t understand my friends, Arianna.”
“Anna,” I snapped.
“What?”
“I hate my full name, so stop it.”
“Okay, well, Anna, you don’t know what my friends are like. They need to . . . they need a warning.”
“Should I wear a bright orange jump suit? Better yet, put me in a cage and smack a sign on the outside that says Don’t Feed the Anna. Hell, God knows I’d lose weight then, wouldn’t I?”
“I’ve never said anything about—”
“You didn’t have to. No one ever has to.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “This is your choice, Evan. I was perfectly fine without talking to you.” The memories I have from when we were younger are better, anyway. “You wanted another chance, and I gave it to you. You’re not doing such a great job with it so far.”
“I don’t know how to act with you. You’re not . . . you’re not like the rest of them, and I don’t know what the fuck I should do about it.”
“Take me for what I am, Evan, or leave me alone.”
“I can’t exactly do that though, can I? We have a project—”
“That I told you I could easily get
