“Probably never been kissed, either,” Steve piped up.
“Like the movie!” Evan laughed, the end of the joint glowing in the darkness of the car. “Although, even Drew Barrymore is hotter than Arianna.”
“Her chin annoys me.”
“At least she has one.”
“Score!” Steve shouted, leaning farther into the car and slapping Evan’s arm. “You think you’ll ever fuck her, Evan?”
“Nah.” He sat up, his head tilted to the side. “I don’t think I’ll ever be that desperate—or that obliterated.”
As it faded to black, every inch of me felt numb. I was gasping for breath—that much I was aware of—but everything else just became a big blur to me. All I could think was that I was right.
He’d never changed. This was all just a joke to him. I was just a joke to him, and I’d let it happen.
I clenched my teeth together and screamed through them, burying my hands in my hair. Then I pulled, not feeling the pain I so desperately needed before I pulled out the DVD. I threw it onto my desk, grabbed the orchid, and stormed down the stairs.
The garbage disposal worked on and off most of the time, and I usually found it easier to throw things in the garbage can than to deal with the aftermath of picking out leftovers from the drain, but right now, I wanted this cut into pieces. Whether I was his social experiment and all of this was a great hoax designed to humiliate me and make him seem more superior to all of his friends or this was some elaborate plan to break up with me, I didn’t know.
I no longer cared.
I shoved the orchid down the drain and reached over to flip on the switch, watching as it disappeared. My breath was still shuddering, and I was vaguely aware of the tears that were rolling down my cheeks as I stared at the drain, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I flipped off the switch and wiped my cheeks, and I made a sound I couldn’t define as I started back toward the stairs.
I was such an idiot to think that he could ever change; to think that anything he’d ever said to me meant anything. Was everything we’d been through leading to this moment where I was beyond hurt or embarrassed, past anything any of them had ever done to me before?
I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at them, my vision going blurry as tears filled my eyes again. Gripping the rail, I started up the stairs, breathing heavily.
He hadn’t completely gained my trust, but he’d been damn close, and that’s what pissed me off and hurt the most. I’d let my guard down more than I normally would have with anyone other than Christina and Vince. And this is what I got for thinking that anyone else was worth any of my time and energy; for giving someone a second chance.
When the phone rang, I clenched my jaw. Wiping my face off one more time before I made my way over to the phone, I snatched it up, cleared my throat, and put it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Good morning, girlfriend.”
My eyes narrowed and tears fell.
“You don’t need to call me that anymore, Evan,” I said coolly, clenching my hand into a fist and staring down at the floor. “I got your gifts this morning, and everything is loud and fucking clear.”
“What?” he asked, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play stupid with me, Evan! How dare you call me after that? How dare you say any of that? You . . . you’re . . . I’m a human being, Evan, and you can’t just treat me this way!”
I was shrieking at this point and only realized it when I stopped talking and the silence rang heavily in my ears. My heartbeat was erratic, and I could feel every inch of me shaking as tears continued to drip off my chin.
“Please tell me what you’re talking about, Anna.”
“Stop it! You know exactly what I’m talking about! I don’t know why you couldn’t just say it to my face and break up with me that way! There was no need for this! I didn’t . . . I’ve never . . .”
My legs gave out beneath me, and I dropped to the floor hard, realizing too late that I was a sobbing mess, and he knew it. It only served to piss me off, but I couldn’t catch my breath, and I couldn’t do anything but clutch the phone to my ear and want to kill him.
“Anna, please,” he begged, almost sounding sincere. “Please tell me what I did.”
“You know what you did.”
“No, I don’t! Please, just talk to me.”
“How much did you drink last night, Evan, that you wouldn’t remember calling me the most unattractive girl you’ve ever seen? Or saying that you’d never sleep with me because you’d never be that desperate or obliterated?”
“What are you . . . ? Oh, no,” he whispered. “No, Anna, no, no, no, you don’t—”
“Fuck you,” I whispered, angrily wiping my face. “I’m done.”
“Anna, listen to me!”
I slammed the phone back on the cradle and stood up, trying my hardest to catch my breath as I ran my hands through my hair and started back toward the stairs. The phone rang again, but I ignored it, keeping my eyes front and center as I climbed the stairs.
What I’d feared about last night had come true, and it was no one’s fault but my own. I’d let him in, and all it did was get me hurt and make me more of a laughing stock around the school than I’d ever been. I’d let myself almost forget how cruel and heartless he could be when he put his mind to it, and that was my mistake. I’d forgotten that he could be an asshole, and
