I still wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to feel justified being mad at him and not talking to him, but the truth was all I felt was a resounding ache. I don’t think I’d ever been more confused than I was right this moment, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
“You’re in my way.”
I looked up from my sluggish pace and saw Adam standing in front of me, a twisted smile on his face as he stood in front of me. I stared hard at him, not in the mood for any of this crap today.
My head was everywhere but where it was supposed to be. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before because I was too busy thinking about everything that Evan had said and trying to make sense of it all. I had somehow managed to finish the human physiology paper, although I had no idea how and even managed to have an actual conversation with my father over dinner.
Human physiology that morning had been pure torture. Evan remained silent throughout the entire class, saying a quick good morning when he’d first walked in before concentrating unnaturally hard on his notes.
When the bell rang, he told me that his practice Thursday that would be longer than usual because there was a game on Friday, so we wouldn’t be able to get together to work on our project.
I told him that we’d have to definitely work on it tonight to get all the details down for our presentation, and he’d agreed before telling me that he’d see me later and walking out.
Part of me was relieved that he hadn’t tried to talk to me more, but there was still a little part of me that felt somewhat disappointed, which aggravated me beyond reason, and I’d spent my entire economics class trying not to tear my hair out.
The entire day was one big mind screw, and I didn’t like it at all. For once in my life, I’d wished that absolutely nothing had changed. I hadn’t exactly enjoyed being picked on and teased by almost everyone, but at least I was used to it.
“Go around me, Adam,” I said through my teeth.
“Well, I’d like to”—he tapped his chin—“but your fat ass is taking up the whole hallway.”
I couldn’t deal with this on top of everything else. Something inside of me just seemed to snap, and I couldn’t control my mouth. “Do you get off on saying things like that?” I snapped, narrowing my eyes at him. “Does it make you feel good about yourself?”
“I . . .”
“Do you even realize that when you leave this school and go off to college that you won’t be the badass you seem to think you are? Do you realize that you will get nowhere if you keep acting like this?”
“Listen, fat ass—”
“Yeah, go ahead and make fun of the way I look. Make yourself feel better. Just know that next year, I’ll be off to NYU and you’ll be flipping burgers. Get off your high horse, Adam.”
With that, I shoved by him and stalked into the empty classroom, plopping down into my seat and leaning forward to cradle my head in my hands.
“You all right, Anna?”
It was Kyle. My avoidance techniques had clearly failed me today.
“Fine,” I said, shifting uneasily.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” I stared down at my books and licked my lips nervously.
“I told you to leave her alone, Adam.”
I heard Evan’s voice out in the hallway, and I cringed, lacing my hands together and squeezing tightly. He was defending me against someone who used to be one of his good friends. Despite the fact that I told him I needed to think and couldn’t talk to him about it while I did it, he was still willing to stand up for me and protect me. It was definitely a step in the right direction, but there was just so much going on in my head right now that trusting him was still one of the very last things I could do right now.
“You’re still picking the cow over us? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I grew up. Maybe you should do the same. Leave her alone.”
Kyle and I sat in an awkward silence, and I wondered what he wanted and why he wasn’t out in the hallway with Ashley like he usually was in between classes. I didn’t hear Evan’s voice out in the hallway anymore and breathed a small sigh of relief.
“I’m still one of the people that you want to talk to, right?” Kyle finally asked.
“Before I was with Evan, you didn’t want to be seen talking to me either,” I said, looking up at him before going back to my lap.
“I’m sorry about that, but it’s all different now. Everything’s changed.”
“Nothing’s changed.”
“He didn’t do anything all night, Anna. He sat in a corner, looking at his watch every five minutes, and every time I went over to him, all he did was ask if we were done so that he could go home.”
“Kyle, I’m not—”
“Yes, he did say those things,” he interrupted. “And no, it wasn’t right. But a lot of shit has changed since then, and he’d take it back if he could. He wants to.”
“He could go back to being that person—”
“If he was going to do it, he would’ve done it when you told him to leave you alone. Hell, he wouldn’t have sat outside your house all weekend if he was going to go back to being that person.”
“How do you know about all of this?”
“Who do you think he talked to?” Kyle chuckled, resting his elbow on my desk. “He’s all torn up about it.”
“He really hit Steve?”
“Why do you think Steve’s been out?”
“I thought his jaw was just fractured.”
“Now he’s got it wired shut for the next six weeks and has
