Eileen felt like she was floating on a cloud as Holden escorted her to the car. Eileen sank into the buttery soft seat and savoured the feeling that coursed through her as Holden's eyes raked across her bare legs, before he bit his lip and started the car.
They had reservations at a posh restaurant at the most exclusive hotel on the island and ordered a meal of delicious crab cakes, sinfully creamy pasta and a fantastic bottle of white wine. Romantic piano music drifted across the dance floor as soft candlelight flickered at the tables around them. For a long while after they’d eaten, they looked into each other’s eyes and held hands, thoughts of their harrowing day forgotten as they surrendered to the rhythm of the night.
“I’m not a ballet major like you, but if you’d like to dance, I’d be more than happy to take you for a whirl.”
Goosebumps rose on her skin as he rested his hand on the small of her bare back and led her onto the dance floor. She leaned her head against his chest as they slow danced, wishing she could melt into him right then and there.
"You're quite good...as I knew you would be."
Eileen grinned. "One of my many hidden talents."
Holden's looked into her eyes with longing. “I've no doubt. How long did you study ballet?”
“About five years.”
“Why did you stop?”
She shrugged. “I bounced from one hobby to another for years until I started painting. My life felt complete then, like I could finally express myself.”
"Do you express all of yourself or just the parts you don't want anyone else to see?"
"What do you mean?"
His didn’t break eye contact as he said, ”I mean that I saw the way you stepped in front of that painting. There's a reason you didn't want me to see it. You're hiding something."
Her mouth grew dry and her feet felt leaden as she stumbled on his shoes. "It's not that simple.”
“It’s not that hard either.” His face was pensive as he asked, “Will you ever tell me what you’re keeping from me?”
With guarded eyes, she glanced up at him. “Yes. But, do I have to tell you right this instant?”
He quieted, his dark gaze penetrating as he responded. “Not now, but soon. I want you to be able to say every and anything that comes to your mind.”
"Like Clifford?" she asked teasingly.
“Well…yes." His smile waned. “It’s been months and I don’t even know your last name.”
She raised an eyebrow. “This island is small and you’ve proven that you can search out any information you want. Why haven’t you done that with me?”
“Because I want the truth to come from these lips,” Holden said, kissing them lightly. “Because I want to have no secrets and only healthy boundaries with you. I’m not looking for someone to warm my bed, Eileen. I’m looking for a life partner, a woman who can uplift me, a true better half. A woman that I can protect, even if she is a badass.”
Eileen wasn't quick to be impressed with words; they took little effort and weren't always followed by concrete actions. But Holden's words were pure and burrowed deep. She was comfortable around him; he was the only person who didn’t find her ideas too outrageous, who didn’t say her painting was a waste of time and money.
Holden was encouraging and gave her free reign to try things. He’d helped to empower her, perhaps without realizing it. She’d pushed herself to limits she’d never known she had. Handling large sums of money, developing an eye for detail and facing her fears about death had all allowed her to grow by leaps and bounds in just a few months. Before, she’d hidden behind a brash attitude, overcompensating for what she lacked. Now, the idea of failure was almost laughable.
The two of them were so different that for a while she had wondered what it was that attracted her to him. Finally, she knew: their love for art, personal development and a good joke, even if sometimes Holden tried to pretend he wasn't amused. Their appreciation for books, even though their choices of genres diverged. But above all else, their respect for the truth was the lynchpin of their relationship. Eileen may have been a bit more colourful with her expressions, but Holden never sugar-coated anything either, no matter how discomfiting. The world was full of people who loved the safety net of lies, as though they could weave a new reality with nothing more than saliva and artful imagination.
Should she tell him? He already knew about the night she’d spent with Paul. Maybe telling him everything else wouldn’t be the worst thing she had ever done.
“We’re done joking around,” Holden said softly. “And we’re done pretending that everything can stay the same. Because I don’t want it to.” He exhaled. “And I hope you don’t either.”
For a second she felt giddy and lightheaded as though she were floating in an airless bubble. Holden seemed so close, his eyes so endless and beautiful that she’d get lost in them, his words so deep and meaningful that she’d drown in them. Her heart beat so fast that her hand fluttered to her chest, the cold metal ring on her finger absorbing the warmth that flooded her body.
“I’ve never felt the way you’ve made me feel.” She looked down at her feet, her mind trying to steady itself under the assault of her feelings for him.
“I’ll tell you the truth, but I’ve just stayed quiet for so long that I need time to be as open with you as I can. But, I promise that I won’t evade your questions anymore.”
Holden nodded, seemingly satisfied with her response.
Slowly, Eileen’s heart started to beat again. “So, what’s your first question?”
“I have only one.” He leaned in and brought his mouth in line with her ear. “Will you share my bed tonight?”
Chapter 25
The Blissful Divine
The Stellar Prima sped
