“No. On the contrary, I can have nearly anything I want.” He smiled flatly. “It’s up to me to exercise control and not take it.”
“You didn’t take anything I wasn’t giving. I’m not afraid to tell you no, Luca. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.” If I want to. The problem was, she didn’t really want to.
His expression shifted into something close to a smile, but his exhalation gave away his annoyance.
“What?” she asked caustically.
“It makes you even more attractive,” he said bluntly. “That toughness inside that angelic persona you project. I find it infinitely fascinating. Which I shouldn’t tell you, but we’re past pretending we’re not attracted to each other. Better to name the beast.”
Was it? Because something ballooned in her chest, cutting off her airways. She really was going to freak out and spill hot coffee all over herself.
“It’s not like we can do anything about it,” she reminded him. “You’re about to publicly tie yourself to another woman.”
His expression shuttered, and he didn’t sound pleased as he said, “True.”
“I think I’ve found a good fit.” Amy forced herself to plow forward.
“Oh?” Luca sat back, projecting skepticism. Reluctance, perhaps?
“She’s an actor.” She leaned forward to set her coffee on the table. “She plays a spy on that cold war series that’s streaming right now. Even if you haven’t seen it, people would believe you might have. It’s very popular, and they film all over Europe so it’s feasible you would have been in the same city at some point. We could say you were introduced by a mutual acquaintance who remains nameless. She’s very pretty.” Amy flicked through her phone for the woman’s image.
Luca took the phone long enough to glance at it before handing it back. “Why didn’t you suggest her yesterday?”
Amy almost said, Because she’s very pretty.
“I don’t know her that well. We met at a club a few weeks ago.” Amy had provided a shoulder while the woman poured her heart out over a man she was having trouble quitting. “I reached out last night with a very superficial mention of a potential ‘unique opportunity.’ She said she’d take a meeting. I’m waiting to hear where and when.”
“How much do you think she would want?”
“That’s why I think she would be a good fit. Obviously, she should be compensated, but I don’t think she’ll care about money or publicity. She generates plenty of both on her own. But when we met, she said something that leads me to think she would find it useful to be seen as being committed to a man of your caliber.”
His brows went up in a silent demand for more info.
“Romantic troubles. I don’t want to gossip out of turn. I’m sure she would be more forthcoming if you formed a liaison.”
He hitched his trousers as he crossed one leg over the other, looking toward the windows with a flinty expression.
Amy bit her lip, well practiced in giving a client time to process her suggestions. In this case exercising patience was especially hard. She was eager to please, but was so aware of their kiss—their mutual attraction—that it twisted her insides to suggest he even pretend to see another woman.
After a long minute, he said, “I hate this.”
Her heart lurched.
Did he hate that he was sabotaging his own reputation? Or that he’d behaved badly with her and the repercussions were still coloring their discussion?
Or was he harboring a secret regret, the way she was, that they had to relegate their kiss and any potential relationship firmly offstage?
“I have to do this,” he said, bringing his gaze back to hers in an ice-blue swing of a scythe. “You understand that? I don’t have a choice to put it off or...” His hand scrolled the air and it sent an invisible lasso looping around her, strangling her. “I can’t chase what I want at the expense of what is right. I couldn’t even offer you—It would be once, Amy. Nothing more. And the window for that is already closing.”
Amy supposed his words were a compliment, but they slapped like a rejection. Through the fiery agony, she reminded herself that she was respecting boundaries and nodded acceptance. “Don’t worry about me. My job comes first.”
“Same.” His mouth twisted in dismay. “She sounds like a good option. Meet with her. Keep my name out of it until we’re further along.”
“Of course.” She ignored how heavy it made her feel. “I’ll have her sign confidentiality agreements before I pitch it, and I’ll gauge better whether she’s a good fit before you’re mentioned at all.”
“When will you see her?”
“I’ve asked for tomorrow afternoon.” Her heart was pounding so hard, her ears hurt. “Do you want a slower rollout? If she turns it down, we’ll have to find someone else.”
“I want my sister installed as quickly as possible,” he said decisively, rising.
“I think we’re on the right track.” She rose too, getting the message that this meeting was over. “I’ll finish up my gala work while I wait to hear.”
He nodded and she started to leave.
“Amy,” he growled, sounding so deadly, her breath caught.
She swung around.
He wore a look of supreme frustration. His hands were in his pockets, but were fisted into rocks.
“It would only be once,” he repeated grittily.
Such a bright light exploded within her, she was ignited by the heat of a thousand suns.
“Once is better than never.” She ran into his arms.
CHAPTER SIX
HE CAUGHT HER, barely rocking on his feet. His arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her steady even as he hesitated. His lips peeled back against his teeth in a moment of strained conscience.
“It’s just once,” Amy blurted in a bleak urgency that awakened old ghosts inside her. The wraiths slipped and swirled in cool trails of guilt, hissing, You shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. Nothing good will come of this.
“Just once,” he echoed in groaning agreement as he claimed her mouth with his own.
She’d been in a state of deprivation
