“How old was he?”
“Twenty-nine. I was eighteen.”
He swore. “That’s not an affair, Amy. He should have been arrested.”
“Oh, he’s a disgusting pig. I won’t argue that, but I came on to him, even after he said we shouldn’t. I told you I was spoiled. I wasn’t used to taking no for an answer. I loved how enamored with me he seemed. How helpless he was to resist me.”
She saw how deeply that hit Luca, pushing him back into his seat. Making him reconsider his own infatuation with her.
Was she trying to hurt him with this chunk of heavy, sharp-edged history? Maybe. Kicking it at him felt like the only way she could handle touching it at all.
“I’d never had to face any consequences before that. If I was caught bringing alcohol into the dorm, my parents would make a donation to the school and smooth things over.” That had been her father’s solution, to avoid a fight with his ex over which one of them had to bring Amy back into their home. “I was friends with everyone. It was a point of pride that even if someone thought I was full of myself, I would win them over by flattering them and doing them favors.” That had been her mother’s legacy. If you didn’t have a clear pressure point like money or maternal guilt to bring to bear, fawning and subtle bribery were good substitutes. “I refused to let up when he tried to turn me down.”
“Grown men are not victims of teenage girls,” he said with disgust.
“Not until his mother, the headmistress, discovers them. Then he’s apparently a defenseless baby and the harlot who seduced him is served with an overdue notice of expulsion. That’s when her parents finally decide she should be taught a lesson about the real world.”
His flinty gaze tracked across her expression.
It was all she could do to hide how devastated she’d been. Still was. She looked away, out the window to where Tokyo was fading behind wisps of cloud.
A tremendous melancholy settled on her. The sleeping pill, but history, as well.
“It was covered up by his mother and mine. The gossip hadn’t really got around anyway. Bea and Clare were the only two people who stood by me. They wanted to quit school in solidarity, but I didn’t want them to throw away their futures just because I had. They helped with rent here and there, but I eventually found my feet with the online promotions and I was so...touched. So proud when Clare asked me to start London Connection with her. I felt like I was bringing value when I’d been such a mess in those early years. And now... Now I’ve stuffed it up anyway.”
“Why did you take my assignment when you had something like this in your past?”
“I didn’t expect to relive it. You’re the one who decided to use me for your own ends because the opportunity was too good to pass up,” she reminded him.
His head jerked back. “I would have made other decisions if I had known.”
“Would you?” she scoffed.
“You didn’t give me a chance to prove otherwise, did you? I came to you to manufacture a scandal so I wouldn’t cause anyone else to be hurt. I told you that. But you didn’t warn me that something like this was possible. You said this is a circle of trust, but you didn’t trust me, did you?”
“Don’t lecture me on honesty. Not when you—” She leaned forward in accusation, then abruptly had to catch her armrest as she realized the tablet was destroying her sense of balance. “When you were so convinced of your own perfection you had to hire someone to make you look bad. You want to talk about respecting a relationship? You hired me so that when you made your one mistake—” she showed him her single finger for emphasis “—it wouldn’t really be yours. You wanted to be able to tell yourself that whatever happened wouldn’t really be your fault. You want to believe this image—” she gestured to encompass his aura “—of being completely flawless, is real. Here’s news, Luca. We all make mistakes. That’s why my job exists! I’m your mistake. And now you’ll have to live with that. So suck it.”
She dropped back into her seat, feeling like a sack of bruised apples. The entire world was upon her, crushing her. She propped her cement-filled head on the weak joint of her wrist, growing too tired to cry, even though sobs were thickening her throat and sinuses.
“My mistake was believing the scarlet harlot of Upper Swell was going to live happily ever after with the Golden Prince.”
“I never promised you that.” He didn’t shout it, but it struck like a sonic boom she felt with her heart.
“No,” she agreed with growing drowsiness. “No, you said it was only going to be an affair and I believed you. But you made me fall in love with you.” She blinked heavy lids over wet eyes. “That’s on you, Luca.”
Amy woke in Luca’s stateroom several hours later. She wondered if he had carried her here or had one of his bodyguards do it. Whoever it was had removed her shoes and draped a light blanket over her.
She finger-combed her hair and used the toothbrush that had been designated hers when they’d embarked from Vallia, back when she and Luca had been in perfect sync and she’d believed...
She clenched her eyes. Had she really believed they had a chance at a future? Come on, Amy. You’re smarter than that.
Wrinkled and fuzzy-headed, she crept back to her seat.
Luca was reclined in his seat and fast asleep. Her heart wrenched to see him there when he could have slept beside her in his own bed. If he had wanted to send the message that she would no longer wake to the sight of
