“I do not have a buffalo chip on my shoulder.” Hannah enunciated each word clearly.
“It was a metaphor. It meant a big chip.”
“Let me repeat. I don’t have a chip of any size on my shoulder.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” Joe’s sarcasm was getting obvious. “What exactly are you doing here?”
“I’m doing my job.”
“What job? Van sitting?” Joe muffled a laugh.
“Very funny.”
“I’m not laughing.”
“I’m looking out for the animals,” Hannah explained.
“I’m looking out for the humans,” Joe replied, not skipping a beat.
“Animals have rights, too.”
“Yeah, they have the right to be delicious.” Joe dropped his head and using his index finger and thumb, rubbed his temple and shook his head side to side. “I get it now. You’re an animal rights activist. You people staged a protest to coincide with the Super Bowl.”
“I am an animal activist, and I’m very proud to be one.”
“I bet you are,” Joe said under his breath.
“I heard that,” Hannah huffed. After a few beats of silence, she asked, “What are you here for?”
“To procure a weapon. Zoos keep rifles on hand in case an animal escapes.”
“Procure? I doubt it. You’re here to steal a weapon.”
“I’m not going to debate you on semantics. I need a weapon. End of discussion.”
“You’d shoot a defenseless animal caged all its life? You’re despicable.”
“Lady, those ‘defenseless,’” Joe made air quotes around the word, “animals have razor-sharp six-inch claws. The cuddly polar bear is an example. Male lions could take your entire head in their jaws and crush your skull, so to answer your question, yes, I’d shoot a defenseless animal. You happy now?”
“Regardless,” Hannah said. She refused to make eye contact with Joe. “Those animals shouldn’t be cooped up in a tiny space.”
“I actually agree with you on that point.”
“You do?” Hannah scooted to the edge of the seat, excited she had possibly found a kindred soul.
Joe nodded.
“Good, then you can help me unlock some more cages.”
“Whoa, hold on a minute, lady.” Joe shifted in his seat. “Don’t tell me you’ve already unlocked cages.”
Hannah flicked her gaze at Joe, then quickly back to her lap. “I might have, umm—”
A loud thump and the shrill of scraping claws on metal interrupted Joe and Hannah’s banter. Footsteps clicked on the roof of the van.
Then another thump, and the van rocked.
Hannah was wild eyed, her heart pumping fast.
Joe scanned the area outside the van.
“What was that?” Hannah asked.
“Shhh. Quiet. Don’t move.”
Joe glanced at the ceiling. It groaned and creaked, protesting the weight of the large animal perched on top. Joe mentally filed though his brain on what type of animal could move fast enough and jump high enough while not being detected in the waning light.
For several minutes, the only sound emanating from the van was Hannah’s heart battering her chest wall. If it beat any faster, she’d pass out.
With a hard push, the animal used the roof as a springboard and loped away. Joe tracked it as the animal disappeared into the night. He estimated it weighed upwards of eighty pounds. The muzzle was long and dog-shaped, its eyes close set. Its fur was dark and thick, except for the face and butt area.
“Holy crap!” Joe said, turning to face Hannah. “You let out the baboons?” It was more of an angry statement than a question.
Hannah didn’t answer.
“Say something,” Joe growled.
“I suppose I did,” Hannah meekly replied.
“Anything else I should know about?”
“Possibly the lions and wolves. I can’t be sure because I unlocked any door I could find. Maybe gorillas too, I, uh…” She swallowed. “I’m not sure.”
“Leopards?” Joe asked.
“Yes,” Hannah squeaked.
“Hyenas?”
“Yes.”
“What about the animals in the petting zoo?” Joe asked. “All the baby lambs and goats. They have rights too.” Joe feigned indignance.
“Oh no, I wouldn’t let them out. They’d get eaten.” Hannah sat straight in the seat, proud of her commitment to the animals.
“You left them in there to starve?”
“Of course not. What kind of person do you think I am?”
Joe kept his thoughts to himself regarding what he thought about Hannah. He knew her type. “So why didn’t you let them go?”
“I didn’t let them out because I’m feeding them.”
“This keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it?” Joe shook his head in disbelief.
“And since you’re here, you could escort me back into the zoo so I can feed the baby animals.”
“Not on your life,” Joe said.
“You have to go in there to get a gun, so I’ll tag along. I’ll be as quiet as a baby mouse.”
“I don’t like mice. Do you know how much damage they can cause if they get in your house?”
“Whatever,” Hannah huffed. “You won’t even know I’m there. Once you have your gun, of course I’ll have to insist it’s not loaded while you’re escorting me to the petting zoo area. I wouldn’t want it to go off accidentally.”
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this. Lady—”
“Hannah is my name.”
“Hannah, I’ll be lucky to get in and out without being eaten alive by one of those wild animals you released. Besides, I need to locate the weapons, and I don’t need you tagging along and slowing me down.”
“I won’t slow you down.”
“And why not, pray tell?”
“Because I know exactly where they are.”
Joe’s interest piqued. Maybe Ms. Animal Rights activist wasn’t so bad after all. He gave her a once over, estimating she was twenty-five, about five foot seven, a hundred and thirty pounds, with legs meant to run marathons. “I have a question.”
“Shoot.” Hannah crawled into the front seat, tucked her foot under her, and swiveled to face Joe.
“Where’s the rest of your buddies?”
“You mean my colleagues who care about caged animals?”
“Yeah.”
“I got stranded here
