Doc left me with my list and a homework assignment: to listen to calming music and contemplate the items we discussed. Had I placed them in order of priority? What would I need to do to get started on them? And how long would they take? Would I—
A knock sounded at the door, and Andrew poked his head into the room. “Have time to see me?”
A quick uptick in my blood pressure at the sight of him. Did I have time? How rude would it be to say no? I clenched my jaw. But then: “Are you sure you want to?”
“Yes. Even after all this, you’re my friend.” He moved toward the bed, pulled up the chair, and sat next to me. “Listen. I had no idea you and Sadie...you had a history. None at all. I’ve wracked my brain, tried to recall our conversations. Nothing. I came up with nothing. And she never said—”
“She never talked about me?”
“Not never. She just didn’t use your name. And I met her as Sadie Rollins. How was I to know?”
Could I fault Andrew for his feelings? The thought of him and Sadie still hurt like hell inside, like a splinter that wouldn’t go away. Breathe in, breathe out. One, two, three.
Andrew tapped the arm of the bed. “I won’t be here long, but I wanted to at least say hello. Glad you’re back.”
Was he really? I wasn’t ready to speak with him for much longer, and while I could feign fatigue, with him there, marking one item off my list sounded like a good idea. “I’m glad you came by. I’m not going to lie. I feel like hell when I think of Sadie and you. But I have to apologize for what I did. I shouldn’t have—”
“Don’t go any farther—”
I held my hand up. “I have to, per Doc’s orders. Regardless of my fury, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” My voice cracked on the last word.
Andrew nodded. “Well, I don’t know what I would have done under the same circumstances. But I’m okay and you are too. So, apology accepted.”
“Well, thanks, but—”
“Mr. Lancaster?” My least favorite nurse entered the room. “It’s time for me to check your vitals, and to get you to the restroom. Would you—” She looked at Andrew, and he stood.
“Say no more. I’ll see you around, Theo.” He tipped his chin up. “I hope you’ll be back at work soon.”
“You and me both, buddy.”
Later that same afternoon, Charlie and Lexie stopped by. Delia had a cold and had been banned from my room, but I spoke to her via video call after the kids arrived. I was strong enough to hold Lexie on the bed next to me, arm wrapped around her little waist. She snuggled her head into my armpit and fell asleep while I chatted with Delia.
“Lexie hasn’t been sleeping well lately,” Charlie said when I’d ended the call. “But we haven’t had much of a routine these days.”
“You sound like your mother. Which isn’t a bad thing. Just mature, I guess. When did you get so old?”
“I haven’t changed, Dad. Have you?”
What did Charlie mean? In his mind, did I need to change? Had he spoken with Doc or Sadie? The kid missed nothing; I knew that, but...this...I shook my head and smiled at him, laying a hand against Lexie’s head. “I guess we’ll find out if I’ve changed, won’t we?”
Charlie wrinkled up his nose and seemed poised to ask a question when the pesky nurse came back in.
“Seriously? Already? I feel like my room has a revolving door with you all.”
“I get that a lot,” she said and then gently picked up Lexie, placed her into Charlie’s arms, and shooed the two of them to the side. “This won’t take too long, but someone looks like she could use a better nap than what she might get in this hospital.”
“Mom’s right outside,” I said to Charlie. “Let her take you two home. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You promise?” Unlike the overly mature kid he was only moments ago, Charlie’s voice sounded young, unsure, and shaky.
“I promise.”
While one promise would not reassure the kids for long, it was a start.
. . . . .
After dinner had come and gone—emphasis on the gone, because rubbery roast turkey with lukewarm gravy, canned peaches, and red gelatin was a dinner I could seriously do without—Sadie stopped by. Brooke was at home with the kids, allowing us time to sit and chat. The last time we’d spoken had been at the cottage, that night she revealed all the details of her turmoil, Andrew, the life she was leading. And while I wasn’t over her—that would take a while—what she’d done wasn’t anything bad. Being attracted to another man when you’re anticipating divorce? Nothing wrong there. My hands shook as I admitted as much to her.
“I’ve been selfish,” I said as she took my hands and squeezed them, probably to calm my nerves. “I won’t get better overnight, and it won’t be easy because I love you and I always will. But you’re right, and I was wrong. We weren’t working, and why the hell was I holding on? I don’t know. Comfort? I know what I need to do. But doing it will be difficult. And that starts with finding a place and moving out.”
Her eyes twinkled, and she placed one of her hands against my cheek. “All in due time. You’re not the only one to blame. The fault is mine too. I’ve been busy—too
