“If there was an easier way, the Malignants would have found it and attacked.”
“Maybe. I still think it’s worth a try.”
After an hour, Fawke and Gage took our place.
“All’s quiet,” I said, moving past them and onto the wagon.
“At least those things need sleep like we do,” Fawke said. “Get some rest.”
While I was grateful for having taken first watch and being able to get several hours of sleep in a row, I lay on my back, pillow flattening under me, and stared at the dark sky. This land had two versions of dark. Gray and black. What I wouldn’t give to see the stars I’d read about.
My mother had always told me reading was a waste of time. Nothing in those pages existed anymore. I disagreed. Reading those words had filled me with hope that maybe the world could return to some semblance of that once-upon-a time.
Tears clogged my throat at how much I missed her. Did she think of me every day? The only consolation I had was the fact if I were to perish, she’d be notified. She wouldn’t have to wait to see whether I returned at the end of my ten-year-assignment.
Shane and Lara murmured from the far end of the wagon, wrapped together as a married couple did, taking comfort in each other’s arms. I sighed and rolled to my side, wishing for sleep to overtake me.
From the pile of concrete gave the soft conversation of Gage and Fawke. Loneliness assailed me, an emotion alien to me. Being an only child, I spent a lot of time alone. Here I lay, surrounded by others, and had never felt so alone.
“It gets easier,” Kira whispered.
“What does?”
“This life.”
“I’ve been here a month.”
“It still will.” She patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry about Fawke. He doesn’t care for Gage the same way she does him. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
I rolled to face her. “Forming an attachment here would be foolish.”
She laughed. “Yet, we’re human, therefore we do foolish things.”
“What about you?”
“I’m a lifer. If I want…companionship, I hook up with Ezra. Goodnight, Crynn.”
I didn’t want companionship. I wanted a life with a husband and children. All I had to do was make it to my twenty-eight birthday. Yeah, good luck with that.
I woke the next morning to the smell of brewing coffee. I bolted up. Coffee?
Lara smiled and handed me a cup. “I managed to filch some from the supply room. We were only given fifteen minutes. I kept it hidden until I thought we could really use a cup.”
“Awesome, but don’t do that again. We can’t have secrets among us.” I sipped, wishing for sugar, but almost giddy to have it black. I glanced around the others who seemed as pleased as I did. “Did you manage anything else?”
She cut a quick glance at her husband. “Thread, needles, a few medical supplies.” She started pulling things from her pockets. “I’ve been a thief my whole life. It’s how my family survived when I was a child. Shane hates it.”
“But he was arrested for stealing.”
She shook her head. “I stole the bread. He went along with me so they wouldn’t send me away with him. I know that sounds horrible, since we have children, but our children are now being fed on a regular basis. Sleeping in real beds. Receiving an education. It’s better that we both had to leave rather than one.”
“You’ll never see them again.”
She drew a shuddering breath. “My hope is that someone will adopt them and give them a better life than they could ever have had with me.”
I couldn’t imagine making that kind of choice. My childhood had been hard. Especially after my father died, but my mother would never have chosen a life of crime or given me up. “Thanks for the coffee.” I got to my feet and joined the others who stared at the mound of concrete and rocks.
“Dante told me of his idea.” Fawke glanced my way. “He also told me of your response.”
“Do you think I’m wrong?” I arched a brow.
“Not entirely. I think it warrants investigating. We might not find a place big enough for the wagons, but maybe we’ll find an area requiring less work to clear. Feel up to a walk?”
“Sure. We’ll leave after breakfast. What about the others?”
“They can stay here and keep working in case we don’t find anything.” He took a sip from his cup. “Did you reprimand her for hiding this from us?”
“In a way. She had other things, too. Helpful items.”
“Do you think she’s still hiding things?”
I shrugged. “I’ve bigger things to worry about. She’s here for life anyway. What bigger punishment could I dish out?”
“True.”
After another meal of watered down gruel, I collected my weapons, left Ezra in charge, much to his surprise, and set out with Fawke. “We need to find a water source. We can’t let our supply run out.”
“I agree. Rationing will come. It’s best if we push that off as far as possible.”
We fell in step together, following the line of the fallen building. I cast several apprehensive glances around as we moved farther from the group. The two of us would be no match for a horde the size of the one that waited for us on the other side of the blockage. The others wouldn’t be either.
Fawke and I could not be gone long. Once the Malignants were on the move again, attack on the group was imminent. I actually wished for rain to keep the creatures inside.
12
Senses alert, Fawke and I searched without speaking. The air filled with the sound of shrieks and the nauseating odor of decay.
Occasionally, Fawke would hold up his fist to
