It was quite the surprise when Chloe came out of her bedroom earlier, and I saw how she planned to look for Jimmy’s visit. It wasn’t so much the amount of work she had put into her hair and makeup that did it, rather the fact she was wearing a silk nightdress which I remember buying for her a while ago even though it bordered on inappropriate. There’s no doubt the effort she has put into her appearance today makes her look much older than her age, and I’m sure that was the plan, but it didn’t do much to make me feel better about things.
There’s no doubt about it; my daughter is growing up. But it’s not just physically. She has demonstrated to me a level of maturity over this last week that I hadn’t seen from her before. There has been the way she has handled the aftermath of Rupert’s tragic death, getting on with life so as not to raise any suspicions. There has been the way she sat and spoke with me after we came home from the hotel, sitting sipping wine and having a grown-up discussion about what I had done with Jimmy to keep us safe. And there had been last night, when she had come downstairs and found me a mess on the kitchen floor, crying as I attempted to clear up the broken pieces of my wine glass after I had allowed the events of the last seven days to get the better of me. Not only had she sat with me and calmed me down, but she had also helped me get to bed before cleaning up in the kitchen, which was not what a daughter should have to do for their parent but was what I needed at the time.
As my daughter stands in front of me now, looking very much like a woman, I also know she has the maturity to match the looks. I’ve seen another side to her recently, and while I wish it had come under different circumstances, it has still been a pleasure to see it. Maybe, just maybe, she’s not going to be as screwed up after this as I know I am.
But it’s not over yet.
‘He’s here,’ I say, spotting the figure coming down the street before quickly moving away from the window so he doesn’t see that I was watching out for him. ‘Okay, let’s run through this one more time.’
I turn to Chloe who is standing at the bottom of the staircase, and notice her posture stiffen as she prepares for her performance to begin.
‘I’ll answer the door to him and allow him in. You stay there. Don’t smile, but don’t look too down about things either. Just try to give nothing away with your expression. I’ll tell him that this has to be the last thing he asks of us. He’ll surely agree, of course, before wanting to get on with things. Then I’ll tell him to treat you with respect before telling you to call out to me if there are any problems. Okay?’
Chloe nods again, and I can’t remember the last time I ever heard her this quiet. That tells me she isn’t just nervous. She is terrified. It also makes me think that we should change the plan at the last minute and just stab Jimmy as soon as he walks through the door.
‘We don’t have to let it get as far as your bedroom,’ I say as I go over to her and take her hand. ‘If you’re having second thoughts, I’ll just get this over with down here.’
‘No, it’s okay,’ she replies, taking a deep breath. ‘I can do it.’
I give her a quick hug before the loud knock at the door.
We both turn and look at the silhouette of the man standing on the other side of the frosted glass.
This is it. The moment of truth.
The moment when we get our lives back.
Making one final check on the knife that is tucked into the waistband of my jogging bottoms, I walk towards the door and reach for the latch.
After a quick glance back at Chloe, she gives me the nod to confirm that she’s ready.
I unhook the latch and open the door.
‘Evening,’ Jimmy says, his beady eyes peering at me from the doorstep, but I say nothing as I step aside and let him in.
As I close the door, I can’t fail to notice the large grin break out on his face when he catches sight of Chloe waiting for him by the stairs.
‘Oh my, don’t you look pretty tonight,’ he says, and I can feel my heart rate already creeping up as I lock the door and turn back around to face him.
Chloe says nothing, as instructed, nor does she give anything away with her expression, but Jimmy doesn’t seem to mind as he takes another couple of steps closer towards her, almost as if he is inspecting a product before he buys.
‘Before this happens,’ I begin, stepping in between him and my daughter and fixing him with an icy glare. ‘I need to know that this is the last time we have to do anything for you. There can be no more demands after tonight. No more blackmailing. After this, we’re even, alright?’
Jimmy’s eyes still linger on Chloe, and it’s taking all my restraint not to slap him for looking at her like he is, but he eventually breaks off from her and fixes his gaze on me.
‘You’re the boss,’ he says, with a sarcastic shrug.
‘I mean it,’ I tell him. ‘I want you to promise this is the last thing you ask for.’
‘I cross my heart and hope to die,’ he replies, which is more than apt for the circumstances, although I make sure not to tell him that.
‘Okay then,’ I say, doing my
