“Constable Feller’s going to ensure a cruiser is parked in plain sight.” Jack edged around the table, dropping to his knees in front of Gillian. “You and I have to talk.”
“Nothing to say,” Gillian rubbed her arms to chase away the chill. Go away, go away, go away. She bit her lip to stop the tears threatening, her silent mantra going unheeded as Jack pulled her hands off her lap and into his.
“Gillian, I want you to listen to me. If after, you want to leave,” he croaked, “well I’ll try to respect your wishes. It’ll hurt like hell but I’ll try.”
Her heart in her throat, Gillian stared at him. It was almost funny really. She’d always known deep inside there wasn’t any hope, not for her. She’d been alone all her life. What was one more heartache? Seeing the naked longing, the hope in Jack’s eyes, she swallowed, trying to ignore the faint whisper of hope within her heart. Maybe, maybe she’d been wrong—please, let me be wrong.
“I’ve tried to give you space, tried to show you I’m not just after a quick roll in the hay.” Jack pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “But I don’t think that’s the problem. Is it, Gilli?”
Gillian shook her head, her eyes burning. How could she explain the problem?
“All this time I thought we were gaining ground, I guess I never thought, never wanted to think, you were scared of me. I’m sorry for that. Scaring you, making you uncomfortable, making you think you weren’t worthy was never my intention. I just wanted to get to know you better. Wanted to be sure what I was feeling was real before we jumped back into bed together.”
She offered a gentle smile and cupped his jaw. “I understand. I, um, I won’t be a problem. I’m going to go home. Can’t compete with—”
“Baby, there isn’t any competition.” Jack heaved a breath. “I love you. I think I always have, I just was too much of an idiot to accept, to, well to recognize it. Nearly losing you made things clear for me. I’m not asking you to love me back. I’m asking, no I’m begging, Gillian, just give me a chance to show you loving me isn’t wrong.”
Something shifted, settled in her chest, like a broken bone set properly. Gasping, she pressed her fingers to his lips. Could she trust him? Could she reveal the deepest, darkest shadow of her life? The earnest, pleading look in his eyes told her yes.
“Just a second.” She pushed the chair back. It scraped across the floor as she hurried down the hallway to the bedroom. She opened the closet and pulled out the small, blue plastic container that somehow managed to hang on like a plague. She clung to it and turned to see Jack in the doorway.
“Before I answer you…” Gillian licked at her suddenly dry lips, “…here. Have a look in here, and after, if you have any questions, I’ll answer them, but I can’t sit here and look with you at what’s in this box. I’ll understand if you want to change your mind.”
Gillian left him in the doorway with the box and headed for the bathroom. She’d have a shower and then decide what she was going to do. When he saw what was in her box of shame, she’d bet he’d want her gone, and really it was best to be prepared.
Chapter 26
Jack stared in horror at the pictures spread out over his bed. Medical reports, police reports lay open, the pages stained with age but legible. His stomach twisted as he stared at Gillian’s past. The ugly gashes which had turned into the scars, the bruises, the extent of her nightmares all displayed for the world to see.
He set the pictures aside and pulled out the manila envelopes filled with papers. Dates were recorded in red ink on the upper corner of each in cold, concise script. He opened each one carefully and pulled out the documents.
Aggravated assault, unlawful confinement, battery with a weapon. Jack tossed yet another down before picking up the most recent. His hands trembled as he stared at the top of the page for a few moments. His heart in his throat, he swallowed harshly. Rape, unlawful confinement, attempted murder. Skimming the pages, he pressed his hand to his mouth as he read the details Gillian had kept hidden. Miss Hilliard was thrown through a double-paned glass window on the third floor. She suffered multiple lacerations to her back, legs, and left side as a result of the broken glass. Broken pelvis, shattered ribs, and massive internal injuries. Bruising on her throat and shoulders indicated possible strangulation before going through the window.
Was this what she was hiding? Was she trying to protect him from the brutality of her past? Sickened by the knowledge of what she’d endured, he rubbed a hand over his face and stared out the window. Did this mean anything to him? No, he felt bad for what she’d survived, but it didn’t affect how he felt for her. If anything it made him love her more. Gillian was far stronger than anyone he’d ever met, and he admired her.
With the utmost care, he stacked the photos back and closed the lid. The sound of running water drew his attention. Shedding his jeans and T-shirt, he padded into the bathroom.
Steam rolled up over the shower door, the scent of flowers swirling around him. Already he could feel his cock swelling, hardening. The low throb of lust in his blood fired as he opened the shower door and stepped inside.
“What?” Gillian whirled, a confused look on her face.
“Uh-uh, no peeking.” Jack pressed his lips against her shoulder. His hands slid around her waist, up over wet skin to cup her breasts.
