“When people talk about coming back, they don’t tell you how hard it is, they tell you all the good parts but not about the bad,” I tell her, in a story like Grace’s the bad outweighed the good.
“My sister was a force of nature; she had her whole life in front of her. She was twenty-eight when she committed suicide,” she whispered.
“I am so sorry.” The words probably sound hollow to her after all she had to have heard those words probably a million times.
“Grace was so full of life, always eager to help anyone, anytime. She loved animals, so when she joined the K-9 unit it wasn’t a big surprise. When she came home, she was a whole different person, her spark was gone.” She sat there in silence not sure what to say.
“You know when I came home, everyone just expected me to be okay, In the hospital every time a nurse came in to check my vitals, or when I had visitors come by, they always said the same thing. Just thank goodness, it could have been worse, thankfully you are still alive. Don’t worry things will get better,” I tell her.
“You know what most people don’t understand, they don’t understand that physically you might get better, but when you close your eyes you are right back there. Right back at the start, you repeat some of the most terrifying moments over and over again. I know there were days, I was in such a dark place I could have ended it all. I would have done anything not to see the explosion and carnage that was left behind that day.” My body is coiled tight with talking about memories.
“Do you still have those days?” She looks at me questioningly and I know she is sizing me up.
“I still have dark days but nothing like what I had when I first got back. When my leg is acting up or when I sit too idle, the past can still haunt me,” I tell her honestly.
“Does it bother you a lot?” she asks, pointing to my leg.
“Hell yes, it is more discomfort than anything else, after a long day or when it is really hot outside, and I am sweaty,” I say unsure on why I am unloading everything on her, but something makes me want to tell her all of it and she would listen without judgement.
“I think what you have done, how far you have come, even since I met you, I think you are very brave and a good man,” she tells me.
I timidly run my knuckles down her cheek. “That is because you make me want to be in a better place. Getting to know you, the kind of person you are, not to mention when you are around, I don’t feel so numb and the fact you don’t take my crap, makes me want to spend as much time with you as I can,” I tell her, crashing my lips to hers, her hands gripping my hair, our teeth gnashing together. My body craving to feel, taste, and touch everything about her.
When she pulls away, we are both panting. She is flushed, her arousal has crept up her chest and colored her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, I have wanted to do that since the moment I laid eyes on you,” I tell her honestly.
“It’s okay, I have wanted to do that as well, I just wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.” She gently runs her fingers over her swollen lips.
I grab her, wrapping her in my arms. “I have wondered what you tasted like since the day you barged into my house,” I tell her, and I am rewarded with a sigh.
“I have to work tomorrow night, but can I come back over after my shift?” Her voice was just above a whisper.
I lean in kissing her tenderly. “I would love for you to come over, what time is your shift over?” I ask her and for the first time in a while I don’t dread being alone.
“I should be here by three, is that too late?” She looks hesitant.
“No, that’s perfect,” I tell her. “Just come in and climb in next to me.” I run my knuckles down her cheeks.
Flipping through the channels, trying to pass the time till Evelyn gets off work, I am trapped in boredom.
Grace gives me a nudge, whimpering. “Ok, girl, let’s go potty and then get ready for bed,” I command. Watching her bushy black and tan tail wag back and forth, I couldn’t help but smile. Once Gracie is back inside, she darts towards the bedroom, at the door I realize she is nowhere to be found. So, I call her name when out from my comforter that was piled on my bed, pops a deep gray and black muzzle, her floppy ears come next.
“What are you doing, girl?” I look at her like she would actually be able to answer me.
She lets out a bark, I snap my fingers and command her to the floor, but she just burrowed deeper into my bed. I lean forward and she licks my face. Her floppy ears and big round chocolate brown eyes made me cave.
“Fine, you big baby but stay on your side,” I say and climb into bed next to her.
I am blinded by white lights, the smell of blood and antiseptic stinging my nose. I can hear noises, but I can’t make out what is being said. I can only see white shapes, nothing is focused. My body is numb, so I close my eyes and I’m right back there on the battlefield, my hand pressed against Rider’s leg trying to stop the bleeding.
“Hang in there, buddy, I got you,” I tell him, my adrenaline pumping through me. I look around and see Riggs lying on the ground blood surrounding him. I need to stop Rider’s bleeding before I can go check on Riggs, I grab my bandana, wrapping
