“I wore a dress,” she says.
I try and smile, but her dress is ripped with grass and mud stains. “I see it, honey. You look pretty in whatever you wear though.”
“I wore it for you. I wanted to look nice. I worried about it all day and was afraid you were going to change your mind by the time I made it to see you. I figured you’d think I was more trouble than I was worth. And well, I couldn’t really blame you, looking at me now.”
My head drops. I hate the insecurity in her voice. “I love you, baby. Nothing’s changing that.”
She stops my hands with hers. “Look at me, James.”
I lift my head, but it pains me to look at her. I let her down. She needed me. I’m trained for shit like this, and she got hurt. It’s on me.
She puts her hand on my chin and forces my head up. “I know I’m a mess, but why won’t you look me in the eye?”
Guilt rages inside me. I stand up, trying to put some distance between us. I’ve never been in this position before. Vulnerable is not a game I play well. “You’re not a mess, honey. You’re always beautiful to me. I can’t look at you because I let you down.”
She’s shaking her head. She tries to stand up, but when I see her struggling, I fall to my knees in front of her again so we’re eye to eye. “I would rather die than let anything happen to you.”
Her hands go to my shoulders and she squeezes. “You didn’t let me down. This isn’t your fault. Plus, I want you looking at me when I say this.”
I stare into her pretty blue eyes. “I’m looking at you, baby.”
She takes a deep breath. “I love you, James. I love you so much. Thank you for coming for me. For as long as you want me, I’m yours.”
“Forever,” I tell her instantly. “I want you forever.”
8
Addison
I feel so dirty. Not only because of the grass and mud, but just all of it. Every time I close my eyes, I see the menacing look on Officer Johns’ face. I start to get up.
“Here, let me help you.” James is right there, and when I stand, I don’t even take a step before he picks me up in his arms. I could argue I’m too big to be carried, but this is where I want to be. I rest my head on his shoulder as he carries me to the bathroom. He sits me on the closed toilet seat and starts to undo the buttons of my dress. It takes some work, but together we get my clothes off, and he helps me into the tub.
I figured he’d leave, but I’m surprised when he grabs a towel and wash cloth from the closet and then drops to his knees next to the tub.
He wets the cloth and puts some soap on it. “Is this okay? I don’t want to let you out of my sight right now.”
I nod my head. He runs the cloth over every part of my body, even between my legs and when I squirm under his touch, he keeps methodically cleaning me. He washes my hair; he does it all. All I have to do is sit and enjoy it.
When he’s done, he helps me dry off and then covers me with one of his shirts before tucking me into bed.
He takes off his shirt, and leaving on his pants, he lies down next to me and draws me into him.
“My car...”
James runs a finger through my wet hair. “The boys will take care of it.”
We lie just like that for I don’t know how long. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but all I can think about is Officer Johns and Officer Green.
A chime rings on James’ phone, and he pulls it from his pocket. From where I’m lying, I can see the text is from Wild, and when he opens it, all it says is It’s done.
James texts him back and sets the phone on the nightstand.
I let the words on the phone process, and for the first time tonight, I breathe a little easier.
James must know what I’m feeling, because he pulls me tighter. “They’ll never hurt you again.”
And hearing him say it – knowing it’s done – I feel free.
I curl into James’ side and run my hand up his chest. He stops me and holds my hand. “No, honey. You need to rest.”
I lean up and look into his eyes. I feel so relieved, but I can still see the turmoil in James’ eyes. The guilt he feels is a heavy burden, but there’s nothing I can do to convince him it wasn’t his fault. All I can do is show him that I don’t blame him.
“Do you want me?” I ask him. I already know the answer. When he bathed me and even now, his cock has been hard. He tried to hide it from me, but I saw it.
He lets out a long, deep breath. “You know I do.”
I cup his jaw and rub my fingers through his stubble. “Well, I want you too.”
“I don’t...” he starts, but I don’t let him finish. He’s hurting. The way he looks now, he’s hurting more than I am. I can’t let his feeling that he let me down come between us. “I need you, James. I need you to take
