She scrubbed her face and tiedher hair back into a ponytail, trying to make herself look presentable. Itwasn’t much use, not after crying so hard. She was an ugly crier; she alwayshad been. Now that the blood was rushing back to her face, she was all red andsplotchy. At least it would go away eventually.
Bending forward at the waist, shecradled her body against herself and begged and pleaded to whoever would listenfor the nightmares to stop. This was the first time she had dreamed of home. It had felt so nice to be back in the Tennessee woods, and then the same thing hadhappened all over again. How many more times could she be chased? How manymore times could she get caught? How many more times before she didn’t wake upin time?
Her heart ached for home, and shepulled out her phone. She really wanted to call her mom, but in her condition,her mom would know how messed up she was. Instead, she tried calling Dustin’sphone. He had just finished his third year of pharmacy school at theUniversity of Michigan, and he was sticking around Ann Arbor to be close to hisgirlfriend, Kelly. They were in the same program and had only been dating forone semester.
“Hey, Dev,” Dustin said,answering the phone.
“Hey,” she said. “How have youbeen?”
“Better than you, it sounds,” hesaid, knowing as quickly as her mom would that something was wrong.
“Well, I’ve been better,” sheadmitted honestly.
She had a hard time lying toDustin. Growing up, he had been her rock. They’d had their differences, buthe was her big brother, and he had always been there for her.
“What kind of trouble are yougetting in? Does this have anything to do with Mom badgering you about NewYork?” he asked.
“Has she been doing that to youas well?” Devon asked, thinking about how she had avoided her mom’s calls thepast week. She would rather talk about New York than her real issues.
“Hounding me like a dog, but shedoesn’t want me to bring Kelly. Said she wanted it to be a family thing.” Hesounded irritated.
“She said the same thing to me.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it, Dev. I don’t think I’m going to go, but if you have a better suggestion for yourbirthday, let me know. I’d rather get wasted in St. Louis with you than spendquality time with the fam.”
“Seems a bit unfair to Dani,”Devon said.
“Oh no, it doesn’t. Mom wantsher to bring her boyfriend. Personally, I don’t think Mom trusts Dani enoughnot to sleep with every guy she meets there. But who knows Mom’s reasoning?”Dustin told her.
Devon laughed lightly. It feltgood to laugh after everything else that had happened. She didn’t feel healed,but Dustin certainly had a calming effect upon her.
“I never know her reasoning.”
“So, you going to tell me what’swrong?” Dustin asked, changing the topic.
She sighed, wishing she knew howto tell Dustin. The more removed she got from what had happened, the more shewondered if it had happened at all. Maybe she had just blown it out ofproportion. Maybe she had simply overreacted, and there was no need for her torun away. Maybe a conversation could have changed it all, and then shewouldn’t have had to leave. Maybe she just hadn’t tried hard enough.
What if she told him and itall became a reality? Then, she couldn’t take it back. It would be out inthe open.
“Do you remember when we used togo through that shortcut in the woods off the road that led to the abandonedhouse?” she asked tentatively.
“Yeah, we used to go there allthe time,” he said.
“I had a dream about that place,and it really freaked me out,” she told him lamely.
“A dream about the old abandonedhouse? That’s random, Dev.”
“Yeah,” she said softly, “reallyrandom. Someone seemed to be chasing me. Seriously, Dustin, it was reallyscary.”
Dustin laughed in a mocking waythat Devon had become so accustomed to. “It was just a dream, Dev. I havedreams about zombie attacks and getting chased up trees by a Tyrannosaurusrex. They’re pretty scary, too. I wouldn’t let these dreams mess you up toobadly.”
“True,” she said disbelievingly.
“Oh, hey, Kelly just woke up. I’ve gotta run. I’ll talk to you later. Let me know about your birthday.”
After Dustin hung up, Devondropped her head in front of the sink. He hadn’t given her the opportunity tosay anything more. It was reason enough for her to stay silent for a bitlonger. She needed to figure out what she was doing and where she was going. She couldn’t stay in Chicago because she didn’t have the funds to remain, butshe couldn’t go back. Her life was in limbo as she teetered between stayingand leaving. She had a decision to make, and it had to be made today.
Straightening, Devon exited thebathroom, smoothing out her clothes along the way. She didn’t know if sheshould knock on Brennan’s bedroom door and say good-bye or not. She nearly didthree times, and then she decided against it.
When she reached the front door,she saw a note taped to it.
Went to the gym. Food in thefridge if you’re hungry. Just lock the door on your way out. —Brennan
Ugh! How could he evenwant to go to the gym after the amount of alcohol he had consumed last night? Or was that just a cover so he could leave the house and avoid her?
She shook her head, lost in herown frustration. She grabbed her things, left the apartment, and walked to thenearest train station. She took the train back to Marina City. She wanted theembarrassment of what had happened with Brennan to be as far from her mind aspossible.
Instead, Devon focused onsomething else she couldn’t control. She needed to talk to Hadley before shepacked up and left. Last night had ended poorly, and Devon didn’t want toleave on these terms. Hadley was her best friend. Devon was pissed at her, nodoubt, but she didn’t want to see Hadley devolve any
