‘Horrific, unlovable, monstrous.’ The words echoed through his mind as he drove past the park where they used to walk hand in hand. He hadn’t realised she didn’t know what he was, that it would have made such a difference. That day, when she asked to see his other-self, she had destroyed him.
His friends, even those he had known for over twenty years, turned against him in the blink of an eye, joining in with her vicious slander, shunning and shaming him, until everyone kept their distance. The last six months had been hell. A fresh start was exactly what he needed and he certainly wouldn’t make the same mistake again. He would finish his discipline, maybe even make a friend or two, but he knew now no one would ever fully accept him and his internal harmony had forever been disrupted.
He revved the bike, taking the corner too fast. Breathe, he reminded himself. It’s over now. But he knew that wasn’t true. He had once been proud of his heritage, of who and what he was. Now, where that pride had once been there was only shame.
Rain poured from the sky, obscuring almost everything from view. Small islands of visibility, cast by the amber shades of streetlights, created the illusion of falling silver as the fat, speeding droplets streaked past. With the recent string of abductions, even drivers thought better than to be out alone at this time of night, especially in such a torrential downpour. Ashley breathed warmth into her hands, her breath misting as it escaped her darkening lips in an attempt to blow the sodden rusty strands of hair from her face. Spring was only a few months away, but even with thoughts of summer’s heat, the rain still penetrated her thin uniform with icy precision, despite the protection of her not-so-waterproof jacket.
The forty-minute walk home after her shift was exhausting, especially after spending the day in lectures, but there was little choice. Not if she wanted to pay the bills. Her brother helped where he could, but, as one of those selected to venture beyond the barrier and keep order, keep the unseen in their place, relocate them here, or dispatch them, he had more than enough to contend with. After their parents’ death he rarely returned, and yet in some ways they had grown closer, still finding time to correspond across the distance between his assignments.
When Ashley had been adopted at the age of six, her new brother, Alex, had always seemed to be frustrated at her about one thing or another. She was always in the wrong place or touching the wrong things. It was only when he held her close as she sobbed at their parents’ graves that she realised how much he actually cared… that the constant ribbing and tormenting was nothing more than a healthy sibling relationship.
Their life insurance had just cleared the remaining mortgage on their three bedroom home, which had been left to the pair of them. Alex insisted they kept the property, that she lived there and saw to its upkeep in his absence. It was a small house, but big enough to hold a lifetime of memories and for a single person to rattle around in, lost to the dark thoughts of the past.
Small slivers of light, escaping from between drawn curtains, began to appear as she left the rain-obscured park she often cut through. Her pace quickened, her sodden shoes squeaking with every step as the water, already soaked into the soles, squelched between her numb toes. The screeching protest of the rusty gate, marking the end of her journey, berated her for not having managed to treat it yet. It was one of the many small jobs she could do herself, but lately, between her classes and the extra shifts at the care home, free time had become something of a distant memory.
Stifling a yawn, she thrust her trembling hand into the pocket of her saturated jacket, the sodden tissues and receipts within it yet another reminder of a job left undone as she probed for the small key ring. Alex had given her a set of keys to call her own after finding a key chain and earrings that almost matched the tree of life pendant she always wore. The platinum pendant had once belonged to her birth mother and this, along with a small case, had been the sum of her belongings on the fateful day when she had let go of her mother’s hand and lost her forever.
She hadn’t meant to let go. They had been returning to their seats, but the crowds of people filtering in and out of the train had knocked them apart. She had fought her way through, back towards their seats, but when she arrived her mother was no longer there. The police had searched for her, but as she didn’t know her mother’s name, or their address, or even their destination, there was little that could be done. No matter how hard they looked, they found no record of Ashley, not even her birth. It had been raining like this on that day. The growling of thunder as it rumbled across the sky always brought these memories back.
Key in hand, she opened the door, pulling the handle towards her slightly as she wiggled the key in the stiff lock. Another job for the list. Inside was no warmer than out, but at least it was dry. Shutting the door, she kicked the bottom panel to force the swollen wood back into place before securing the bolts and shedding her shoes.
A quick glance at her watch revealed it to be a little after midnight. The nursing home often
