CHAPTER FIVE
Victoria
My chest heaves, and I draw in a raggedy breath as I wake to a pounding headache. Groaning, I tilt my head to stare out the French doors that give me the perfect view of the snow falling. I watch it tumble, those feathered crystals swirling in their chaotic flight to reach the ground, and it hurts to see them when I love wintertime in New York.
It was mine, Danika’s, and Mom’s favorite time of the year.
I shiver thinking about the word was when it comes to them. They shouldn’t be dead.
Sighing, I bury myself a little farther under the covers and wish I’d fall back to sleep.
I miss them like crazy. My mother and I were so close. She taught me so much, and God, I’d give anything for her to take me in her arms. Except she can’t. Her maternal love is forever gone.
I miss Danika calling to tell me everything Steven did. I miss her not being here to let me know everything is going to be okay. I miss Steven’s smile. I even miss the pang of jealousy I’d get when David and Danika would look at each other with so much affection it was hard to ignore.
Now there’s nothing but the empty hole of grief in my chest I can’t seem to fill. Or, to shed those tears, I can feel bubbling in my stomach.
Now, the only thing I look forward to is working at Buttercup Bakery, Mom’s successful business. I’ve been working there to keep it thriving. I won’t let her or Danika down the way I let myself when it comes to fashion design. So, I’ve taken what I learned and poured it into mastering flowers on cakes, cookies, and cupcakes. How cruel it is, though, that I’ve mastered them when I never could as a child, and they aren’t here to see it.
For some reason, I feel close to them there. Danika helped run it, and it was to be hers when the day came for Mom to retire, and now it’s mine. Those were Dad’s parting words last night before he left.
I’m grateful, but damn it, why did it have to come with such a soul-stealing price. I’m referring more to what their deaths are doing to Dad than to me. He left believing I didn’t blame him, but he’ll never stop blaming himself. I can’t take that weight off his chest, no matter how much I wish I could, and it wrenches at my heart.
Twisting and turning and drowning me in my worry.
There’s also Seth. I crave and fear him at the same time. Honestly, I always have—even more after I moved to Houston.
I wasn’t sure what being around Seth more would do to me. I wasn’t sure of anything until I admired the easy nature he has with his niece and nephews.
Tenderheart.
Kind.
Not even close to the Devil. Which, I’ve always known he wasn’t.
I tried not to react physically, but it was useless, the way our gazes would suddenly latch, causing a clench in the center of my chest. Those sinful eyes were constantly flashing with lust and regret, sending butterflies scattering.
I desperately tried pretending he wasn’t the reason behind the pang at my heart. All the while, a frightening awareness swirled around me with the force of a cyclone.
Pulling me closer.
Magnetizing and dreaming of getting wrapped in all his good and evil.
Damn you, Seth Mitchell, what have you done to me?
I can’t trust him. Maybe if I repeat it enough, it will sink in, and I can get him off my mind.
Suppressing a scream, I flip onto my back and blow out a strained breath toward the ceiling, digging my nails into my skin and grinding my teeth. My emotions are coming at me in every direction that I’m nearly vibrating. I won’t be surprised if they don’t leak out of my pores soon.
I sort through them until settling on anger because I am angry. Angry at the people or persons that killed my family. Mad that I can’t fix the hurt inside my father. Furious, I can’t hold Diesel and grieve with him. Angry for not seeing Dray as much as I like. I get it, though. Dray’s the right-hand man to Roan. His advisor. His information on the outside. He can’t just stop his duties, but I wish he could.
I’m just plain outraged. If I don’t stick to that emotion, let it sink in, I’ll collapse like an unsteady house of cards.
I don’t know how long I stay this way, staring at nothing. Wishing, hoping, knowing I need to get a move on to do absolutely nothing, which I should be used to by now. Closing my eyes, I fall into a deep sleep, and when I wake, I pull myself into a sitting position and lean my head against the headboard. I frown when the sheet falls down my body, exposing my breasts. I’m naked as the day I was born.
I blink in a muddy head of confusion. Was I like this earlier? I had to have been. You’d think after getting drunk. I’d just plunk my ass in bed without bothering to take off my clothes. It’s unlike me to sleep naked. My mother told me never to go to bed without something covering my body, and I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was part of the way to instill fear in me. To remind me that we always have enemies lurking. That I should be on my toes at all times, and if danger encroaches, turn it into wisdom to help contain it.
Huffing a sigh, I lift my arms, pull the sheet over my breasts, and the sharp breath I had no idea I was holding comes whooshing out as I stare into the forest green eyes of Seth.
As soon as our eyes catch, a blaze of desire stretches between us. Instantaneous and as powerful
