She leaned her head on his chest. Her heartached with frustration. Maybe she would feel differently when shecalmed down. But did he really see her as incapable of holding herown after all that had happened? Was reigning as queen not a matchto being Kambry do Runiya? Had choosing the house of artisans beena mistake? If she had chosen do Kon, would Russal see herdifferently?
“Better?”
“I’m okay.” She mounted her horse with a legup from Russal. The ride back was quiet, but Russal held her hand.His warm grip was soothing, and the slow plod of their horsesencouraged her to relax. She needed someone to talk out herconfusion with, and her mind whirled over who she could unburdenherself to. Lessa, Lady Laurents, Sybil, her mother. But eachoption offered its own reason for not being the right choice.Russal wasn’t listening, but he might later. He’d said, “Bereasonable.” She’d been angry over Gordy’s injury, but if Kavin hadshown her that someone was watching them, shouldn’t she try to findout who it was?
The slow pace of the horses helped her heartslow. They were already on the street, heading back to themarketplace. Gazing at Russal, she admired his confidentacknowledgement of the citizens who seemed pleased to watch himride by with her at his side. Kambry tried to hold a friendly smileon her face, but it kept falling, her thoughts pulling herattention. It seemed like days since she had spoken with Sybil. Yetit had only been the previous morning. “The garden still holdsdanger,” Sybil had said. A woman was going to betray her. What goodwas a seer if she couldn’t provide particulars? There had beennothing about being watched from the woods.
Her horse snorted. Exactly how I feelabout it all.
The ride up the causeway was equallyruminative, but Russal’s caressing fingers kept her settled in thehere and now, even if her mind kept leaping about.
~~~~~~~
Kambry gazed thoughtfully at the dresseshanging before her. She’d already picked one out for their visitwith the Laurents, but her fingers lingered on the white dress shehad worn the day she had entered the Kavin Cut.
“That wouldn’t be the best dress to wear,Your Majesty,” Sarena said. “The style is not quite Kavin, thoughit is pretty. I’m not sure what event it would be appropriatefor.”
“It is a spring festival dress, quiteappropriate in Paddlyrun.”
“Maybe you could hold a spring festival hereand suggest the fashion.” Sarena lay her hand on the soft fabric.“I wouldn’t mind a dress like this.”
“I’m not the same girl who wore thisgarment.” Her hand dropped away from the dress, and she pulled atthe ties of her bodice.
Sarena helped her. “I’m sure you have changedlittle.”
Kambry shook her head. There had been so muchthat had happened since then. It was a wonder anyone from Paddlyruneven recognized her. Her hand tugged at the strap of the queen’sscabbard. She really needed to break that habit. “Let’s get meready.”
Sarena finished with her hair and smoothed anarrow blue ribbon that dangled from Kambry’s sleeve. “You’ve beensilent, Your Majesty. The king didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“What?” Kambry twisted around, giving themaid a sharp look. Russal wouldn’t hurt her. Drag her off herhorse, yes.
Sarena blushed and chewed her lip. “He hasbeen kind with you, yes?”
“We are still fostering our relationship.”She felt her own face flush.
Sarena turned her back and folded anundergarment. “It's difficult to adjust when you might feel happierwith someone else. It is good he is giving you time.”
Kambry took a breath and let it out slowly.She needed to shift this conversation. Needing to talk things overwith someone was fine, but she barely knew this woman. And whatmade her think Kambry wanted to be with someone else? Her faceflushed. She’d slept in their bed alone.
“Are you married, Sarena?”
“Yes, several years now.”
“Was there someone else waiting for you?”
Sarena backed up a step and held the palepiece of clothing in a tight grip. She shook her head with tinyjerks and glared at the two girls she was training when theystopped what they were doing to stare at her. Molly and Maureenreturned to organizing a drawer.
Kambry wondered how many times they had movedthings about, looking busy but not really doing anything.
Sarena put the garment away and examined thecloset as if looking for tasks to give the young women orherself.
Kambry looked away, wanting to give Sarenatime to recover her equanimity.
She acknowledged she was uncertain aboutFelip’s current motivations and Russal’s expectations of her, butshe knew which one she loved. Why did she feel so ambivalent abouther next step in their relationship? Sybil had said she was havingdifficulty with interpreting Kavin’s allegiance, as if it wasquestioning which man to support. And now she had to keep those menapart, putting her own allegiance in question.
Sarena turned, her face settled into a softsmile. “It is best to accept things as they are.”
If only so many people didn’t want things tochange. Covey, Maizalyn...
Sarena perused Kambry from head to toe.“There. You’re all ready for a visit with your castle guests. Willyou be wearing that leather cuff?”
“Yes, it was a gift from the king and atradition for the queen to wear it.”
“But you had it before the crowning ceremony,didn’t you?”
“I suppose the king already knew hisintentions.” Kambry walked to the doorway. Russal must wonder whatwas taking her.
“And you must have already known yours toaccept it,” Sarena said, her voice carrying a note Kambry hadtrouble pinning down.
It made her pause at the threshold. “Ofcourse.”
“No one would question you being uncertain.”Sarena closed another drawer.
“I’m not uncertain.”
“Of course, you aren’t, Your Majesty. Forgivemy impertinence. I was thinking of my circumstance.”
Kambry didn’t want to pry into the personallife of her maid, but Sarena seemed to need something from her.“And is your circumstance good now?”
Sarena smiled brightly. “We found a place ofcomfort in our relationship, Your Majesty. Some marriages take moretime to grow strong even when the individuals chose eachother.”
Chapter Nine
Lord Laurents greeted themwith a delighted smile, rising from a much-upholstered chair in thedrawing room of the suite he and his wife shared and giving themboth a nod before taking Kambry’s hand in his.
