“I want to be with you too,” I told him. “Are you sure no one would know? I’d hate for my friends to discover my indiscretions. My reputation is important to me.”
“I’d never do anything to harm your reputation,” he said. “I’ve sent Helene and the other women to different areas. Their work called for something else. And the two guards I’ll have will stay on the first floor, but I can assure you they will be completely discreet or they’ll answer to me. I wouldn’t want to leave either of us unprotected for the night. These are unsafe times.”
I swallowed nervously. “Okay,” I said. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hesitant. I’ve never known a man like you. You’re so sophisticated and worldly. So romantic. You’ve swept me off my feet, and things are moving so fast. But these feelings I have for you. I can’t deny them.” I felt the heat in my cheeks and I lowered my gaze.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I’ve never had this yearning before. This heat in my body. It’s all so new.”
Bingo, I thought when I saw the look of triumph in his eyes.
“I’ll be gentle,” he promised. “And after tomorrow I’ll be at your mercy forever.”
“I’m counting on it,” I said.
Chapter 5
I didn’t sleep that night.
Partly because of Graham. He continued to come to me during the night, and it felt like he’d always been in my life and in my bed. I’d heard sayings about relationships that burned hot and fast and that they eventually fizzled, but I’d never known anything else. It was the hot and fast that made life interesting. But with Graham, there was part of me that could imagine feeling his weight on the other side of the bed night after night. But I was hesitant to let myself get too hopeful.
I knew my relationship with James Walker had been wrong, but he’d made me feel…special. He gave me attention and doted on me and showered me with gifts. He hung on to my every word like it was the best thing he’d ever heard. And our flame had burned so hot and fast I hadn’t stopped to think what we might be lighting on fire along the way.
I’d had interest from men from the time I’d grown breasts, and I’d learned to flirt and pretend I was interested and impressed by what I saw in the opposite sex. My mother had been an excellent teacher in that regard. I’d perfected my techniques until I’d found a man who caught my fancy—a man who knew a thing or two—not a boy who’d be fumbling around like a fool. I’d enjoyed feeling special—even as short-lived as it had been—because I’d realized up to that point that I’d never felt special. And worse, I’d never believed I was special.
Growing up in Whiskey Bayou had been hard. Everything was lacking—from supplies to education—and I guessed I’d been lucky that I had a natural aptitude for numbers, otherwise I wouldn’t have spent a lick of time in a schoolroom or with tutors like most of the other girls my age. That had been the only thing I could think of that my father had done right. And even that, he’d done for his own benefit. I made him money, so I was worth something to him.
When James Walker had come along, he’d made the other men I’d let catch my eye seem like amateurs. But he’d ultimately been my destruction, and he hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye when I’d been so hastily put on the first ship to France.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to feel anything for a man after James. He’d broken my heart, and I’d vowed to never give that much of myself to another man again. But where James had been smooth talk and cool sophistication, Henry Graham was rough and tumble and unpolished. His brain worked at a speed I felt matched my own and he was quick-witted and sharp-tongued. While James had fawned over me and treated me as something delicate, Graham treated me as an equal. It was an entirely different feeling. And my feelings for him were entirely different than they’d been for James.
We hadn’t known each other but for days, yet I felt as if I’d known him forever. There was a connection that penetrated the soul, and it was terrifying and exhilarating all at once. I couldn’t help but wonder how he felt about my mission. Did he worry for my safety? Was he jealous that I had to play the seductress to lure the enemy?
Graham was only part of the reason I hadn’t slept. He’d slipped out sometime during the night like usual, but dreams had plagued me of the bodies I’d seen on the street. I had recognized some of the gray faces whose empty eyes had stared blankly at a cerulean sky.
I thought endlessly about my upcoming task and what I had to do, and I shut off the part of my brain that hated the fact that my body and my looks continued to have more of a purpose in my life than my brains. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have said I felt shame. But that was ridiculous because Holmeses weren’t ashamed of anything. Holmeses fought and scrapped and climbed their way to whatever they wanted, and they had no regrets on how they got there.
I finally gave up on sleep and decided to get up and get dressed for the day. We were to meet at Number 1 Dorset Square at eight o’clock sharp. Nerves fluttered like butterflies in my stomach as I went about washing up and getting dressed. I’d be primped and pampered and perfumed before I
