The poem had been Desra’s all along.
I slip Julia’s letter between the front pages, snap the book shut and then, tying my dressing gown tightly around my waist, slip on a pair of flip-flops and step out into the spring morning. The cool air nips at my ankles, but I still walk the twenty steps from my front door to the riverbank opposite. Raising the small volume to the sky, I fling it as far into the river as possible. It flies through the air, the cream leaves spread wide, then tumbles into the river, where it floats on the surface for a few seconds before disappearing into the wake of a passing motorboat.
Shivering, I hurry back to the warmth of the house and close the door. I hear footsteps behind me.
‘What were you doing outside in your dressing gown?’
I feel the warmth of Caleb’s body against mine, feel as his hand caresses my swollen, pregnant belly. I raise my hand to my neck and run my fingertips along the silver chain that rests there, and then down to the sea-glass pendant that sits nestled between my breasts.
‘Just getting rid of some rubbish,’ I whisper.
Acknowledgements
I owe grateful thanks to all the people over the years who supported me on my journey to publication.
My children Danielle and Dominic, who listened, encouraged and offered welcome suggestions, and my husband Nick, who was always there to lend a critical ear, and provide love, support and positive ways forward.
I would also like to thank all the friends and family who looked out for – and after – me: Ce and Dick Sharland; the Johnstons – Heather, Paul, Richard and Fiona; David and Valerie Horspool; Ann Pelletier-Topping, Tre Grey, Sharon Bray, Penny Manios and the lovely Sue Ferry.
To my writer friends, I couldn’t have done it without you. Finn Clarke, your unending encouragement and sound advice was, and always is, welcome.
To trusted readers David Horspool and Helena Boughton, thank you for dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s.
To my classmates on the UEA MA in Creative Writing – Crime: Denise, Natalie, Femi, Niamh, Mark, Freya, Dimitris, Bob, Niki, Peter, Roe and Matt, and to tutors Henry Sutton, Laura Joyce and Tom Benn, and also my current workshop buddies, Judi Daykin, Wendy Turbin and Karen Taylor for making feedback fun.
Very special thanks goes to The Big Issue for creating this opportunity, and the wonderful team at Avon Books: Sabah Khan, Phoebe Morgan, Ellie Pilcher, and especially Molly Walker-Sharp, whose unending support, patience and guidance has allowed me to continue to learn and grow as a writer. Thanks too to copy editor Felicity Radford and proofreader Anne Rieley for their fresh eyes!
A final thanks to my brothers Alan and Bob Michael, my late mother Marielle, and the late, great Roy York who convinced me this story ‘had legs’!
About the Author
Louise Sharland moved to the UK from her native Canada nearly thirty years ago after falling in love with a British sailor. She began writing short stories when her children were little and her work has appeared in magazines, anthologies and online. In 2019, Louise won The Big Issue Crime Writing competition, and this is her first published novel.
About the Publisher
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