We sit together in comfortable silence while I eat way too much, and he types into his tablet with furrowed brows. After I finish, I take my dishes to the sink and then pick up my phone, which has charged enough for me to check it. My heart swells when I see Brett’s name in a text.
I’m sorry about yesterday. I’d like to talk to you. Are you up?
“Shit,” I say under my breath.
Jack looks up at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Just finally heard from him.”
“And?”
“He’s apologizing for last night.”
“That’s good, right?”
I toss up my hand. “What about me? I slept here last night.”
“Yeah, slept being the operative word.”
“He won’t understand that,” I say.
“Fuck him if he doesn’t.”
“Oh, so you would be cool with it if you were him in this situation?”
“I’ve been him in this situation, and it didn’t go so well, come to think of it.”
I toss up my hands.
“Just don’t tell him,” he says.
“I don’t want to start off this thing with him on a lie.”
“You know you did nothing wrong. If you make some confession to him, you’re just going to seem guilty. It’s all innocent. There’s nothing to see here. If it were me, I’d leave it at that.” He puts his tablet down. “Have you thought about where you’re going to live?”
I rub my temple. “I’m hoping on a wing and a prayer that Janelle and her boyfriend will get back together.”
He stands up. “If they don’t, you know you’re welcome to stay here.”
I hate to even entertain this thought, but I think I’m just that desperate. “Are you serious?”
“It wouldn’t bother me.”
“What if you wanted to bring a girl back here?”
He walks over to the bar in the kitchen, picking up his wallet and keys. “That’s not my thing.”
“Girls aren’t your thing?”
“Sleeping around. I guess I'm a serial monogamist that way.”
“What if you start dating someone?”
“That’s not going to happen either.”
“It could.”
“Not right now. I guess I’m still hung up on someone I can’t have.”
From what I keep hearing, it sounds to me like he’s talking about Tori. My heart stings for him. Love is so fragile and powerful at the same time.
We head out and Jack drives me to Tori’s unit. As we pull up, my heart pounds when I see Brett sitting on his front porch.
“He’s been waiting for you,” Jack says.
Brett simply glares at the car and then walks inside. I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to figure out how this weekend has taken such a disastrous turn.
“Do you need me to wait?” Jack asks.
I let out a sigh. “No, I have my car.”
“You know where I live.”
I consider him. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“To be honest, you kind of seem like a little sister to me. I hope that doesn’t offend you.”
I manage a smile, because I really appreciate him right now. “Most definitely not.”
I head up the steps and knock on the door. Tori opens it and greets me with a frigid gaze. Janelle sits on the couch, wiping her eyes. She gathers her knees to her chest and won’t look at me. I remember Tori saying my staying there would be a different story if Janelle were back home. There’s no question of what my next move needs to be.
“I’ll just grab my bag,” I say.
Tori simply opens the door farther and walks away from me, finding her place next to Janelle on the couch.
I sit in my car in the parking lot of the public beach access, charging my phone. I text Bailey.
Hey, what’s up? You left kind of early last night.
No response. I can’t believe I’ve somehow managed to lose Brett, Tori, and Bailey in one fell swoop of a night. With the distance I’ve put between myself and my old life, I truly feel like I have no one.
I flip through Instagram, looking at pictures of my former circle of friends—the couples Joshua and I spent most all of our social time with. Life has gone on for them—at least the three remaining couples. I don’t see Jillian and Bryce there, or Joshua, for that matter. I wonder if he and Jillian are still screwing or if the thrill of it all is gone since their secret is out in the open now. It’s crazy to say, but part of me feels a little sorry for Jillian. This friend group was her life. She’s probably somewhere tearing up at this picture of her friends having fun without her.
I toss my phone in the passenger seat and stare into the horizon, unable to believe I’m in this beautiful place but in such a dark corner on the inside. As conflicted as I am about it, I drive to Jack’s place. I text him from the parking lot, and he buzzes me in. When he opens the door for me, I say, “Are you absolutely a hundred percent sure about this?”
“Do you have any other choice?” he says.
I think about that for a long moment and then follow him inside.
23
Brett
My plan to forget about Kylie is a bust. I went to my mom’s on Tuesday night, and when I showed up again on Wednesday night, she practically kicked me out, saying she was too tired to make conversation with me. She basically told me not to come back till Sunday.
I can’t believe Jack fucking Massey dropped Kylie off last Sunday morning. My mind has been cluttered with images of what could have happened with them Saturday night. It’s almost hard to buy that she would give herself to him after being with me the night before. But I can’t deny the expression of sheer guilt on her face when she saw me. He even looked almost contrite.
Tori leans against the doorframe of my office. “You gonna be working late?”
I check the clock on the wall. “I’ve got a four o’clock.”
“Not anymore. Parents just picked him up.”
“Seriously?”
“Don’t look so disappointed. Just means we can
