He plays with my fingers. “I like being a part of your new life.”
My body sings with want for him, and I’m worried I’m getting myself in too deep. I recalibrate and refocus the conversation. “What about you? You started a new life about the time I started mine, moving in here.”
He inhales a deep breath and then lets it out. “Yep.”
“That’s a noble thing you did, living at home all those years to take care of your grandma.”
He closes his eyes and rubs his temple, rolling onto his back. “I wasn’t just taking care of my grandma.”
“No?”
“My mom’s had it rough, losing her husband and trying to raise me and my brother. It hasn’t been an easy life for her.”
“I’ll bet.”
He frowns, seeming to be in deep thought. “She’s struggled with addiction a lot of her life.”
“What kind of addiction?”
“Opioids, mainly.”
I wince. “That is so hard. I haven’t had any experience with that in my own life, but I’ve seen documentaries. It’s so unfair how it affects vulnerable groups of people.”
“It’s been hard making ends meet over the years, paying for rehabs that we didn’t have the money for.”
“How is she doing now?”
“She’s been sober for nineteen months.”
“That’s a long time.”
He nods. “It is. She’s been sober for a longer period of time than this, though. I wanted to stay there with her, but she said my being there was enabling to her. She pretty much kicked me out of the house—told me that if I stayed, I was putting her sobriety in danger.”
“Does that scare you?”
“I’m worried for my mother every day of my life. But I feel better about her sobriety now than I have in a long time. She’s got my grandma to take care of, so I think that keeps her focused.”
I rub my thumb along his hand. “It probably wasn’t easy leaving.”
“No, it wasn’t. But I’ll do anything to keep her healthy.” I tear up a little, and he looks at me with a smile. “Don’t do that.”
“Sorry. It’s just so sweet to see how much you love her.”
“She’s the most important thing to me—she and my grandma, and my brother.”
I smile, but my heart sinks. “Your family is everything to you. I envy that. My family has all the money anyone could want, but we don’t have a fraction of what you guys have.”
He pulls my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re apologizing to me for being rich. That’s kind of messed up.”
He just stares at me, threading his fingers through mine.
“I wanted to meet your mom and your grandma the other day,” I say.
“That’s not how I wanted to introduce you to them.”
“I totally understand. It wasn’t an appropriate time.”
He focuses on my hand. “I would still like to introduce you to them, though.”
“I’d love to meet them. And I’d like to spend time with your brother, too.”
“I could do without you hanging with him for a while. He’s going through a selfish phase.”
“How old is he, nineteen?”
“Yeah.”
“I think everyone goes through a selfish phase at nineteen.”
“Probably. But we can’t afford his selfish phase. We need him to help. And we need him to not be irresponsible.”
“It’s got to be hard for you. You must feel out of control.”
“That’s a good way to put it.”
I kiss him and then pull back. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“Thanks for listening.”
We kiss again, and keep kissing for a long time, until he finally rolls over on top of me. Our bodies move together, his erection growing against my leg. I’m overcome with passion or lust or some feeling I can’t put a name to. Whatever it is, I’ve never felt it before, not even for Joshua after years of being with him.
Brett reaches into the nightstand drawer and pulls out a condom, readying himself. As he pushes inside of me, he moves slowly, taking time to kiss me. The buildup inside of me comes gradually and reaches all the way up through my chest, squeezing my heart. I grasp his shoulders, letting him know it’s time for me. We collapse together and he kisses my neck, my cheek, and then my lips, staring at me wordlessly. I can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling even a fraction of what I am.
25
Brett
“I can’t believe I got you out tonight. You’ve been MIA,” Cohen says.
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“Where is Kylie tonight?”
“Working late.”
“Ah. I’ll try not to get my feelings hurt knowing I was your second choice. She is way hotter than me.”
Logan, on the other side of the bar, grabs a mug and pulls a beer from the tap. “Ah, don’t be down on yourself, cuz. You’re beautiful to me.” He blows Cohen a kiss with a wink.
Cohen eyeballs his cousin as he walks to the other end of the bar to deliver the beer, and then turns to me. “How’s it going with her?”
It’s a loaded question and one I’m not sure I want to answer. “Good.”
“That’s not very convincing,” he says.
I shift in my seat. “It’s just a lot.”
“How so?”
“I don’t feel very in control.”
“Yeah, sounds like love to me.”
My chest ignites at the word.
“Sorry, too much?” he asks.
“I think it’s all too much. I’m trying to be cool with it, but she’s still staying with Jack Massey.”
“Oh.” The look on Cohen’s face indicates I’m not crazy to be worried. He cocks his head to the side, changing his tune. “Nothing’s happening between them, though, right?”
“That’s the narrative.”
“You don’t believe her?”
I consider this. “I believe her. I just don’t trust him.”
“Look, man, I know what went down between him and Tori last year, but Jack’s not a bad guy. You know that, right? I really don’t think he would do that to you. I think he’s more interested in getting back in your good graces.”
“Have you been talking to him?”
“No, not really. I mean, he’s made a
