“Son of a bitch,” Imuttered angrily, and then I spoke a few hasty words, summoning upa thick fog. I put a lot of force into it, and within moments thesurrounding area was blanketed in a thick and impenetrablecloud.
People cried out in fear at theunnatural mist, while the guard continued blowing on hiswhistle.
Ignoring them all, I bentdown to lift the unconscious woman, making certain my shield was inplace before I touched her. She couldn’t survive another of my lifedraining touches, nor was I sure my sanity would endure it either.Her aythar had filled me with something new, emotion. It hadbrought me to life again, though I could tell my heart beat wasbeginning to slow already.
She seemed light as Icradled her in my arms, carrying her through the fog. I had no ideawhere she lived or whether it was safe to simply leave heresomewhere so I just kept walking, renewing the mists whenever theybegan to thin and using my magesight to avoid contact with the fewpeople that ventured into the fog. An alarm had gone up, presumablythat a shiggreth was loose in the city, though I wasn’tsure.
What I did know was thatnearly every door was locked, and most people had shuttered theirwindows as if a storm was brewing. My magesight revealed manypeople huddling in their homes, a lot of them praying to theshining gods, which mildly irritated me.
It also felt good to beirritated. The feelings and sensations that accompanied myemotions, any emotions, were so incredible as to make it difficult toremain properly irritated. Even my heartache was a welcome changeto the endless grey I had lived with for the past fewweeks.
“It feels good to bealive, even when sad and miserable,” I noted. The thought was a newrevelation to me. After enduring so much time without passion,motivation, desire, or any other sort of true feeling, I waslearning now that even negative emotions were preferable to none atall. “Emotions are like flavors, sweet, salty, bitter… each has itsplace, and each is worth experiencing,” I posited outloud.
I was brought out of myreverie by a groan from Myrtle, who I still carried in my arms. Iwatched her carefully, and felt sure that she would awaken soon.Putting her carefully down I moved away, far enough that her eyeswouldn’t be able to find me in the fog, though I remained closeenough to assist if she turned out to need more help.
Waiting, I watched as shegradually regained consciousness. Using a bit more of my stolenmagic, I disguised myself as an old man before creating a wind todisperse the dense fog that cloaked the streets. In the distance Ihad already sensed armed parties of guardsmen beginning to walk thestreets. I knew there might soon be Knights of Stone among them, ifany were in the city. It was time for me to leave.
I began working my way out of theimmediate area, all the while keeping my magesight trained onMyrtle. I had to be sure she made it home safely. I walked slowly,in keeping with my disguise, and I managed to leave the docksidedistrict without being stopped more than once. The guardsmen askeda few simple questions before letting me continue on myway.
My inner eye however,remained on the wayward woman who was now resting in a smallapartment. She had trudged there wearily after awakening where Ihad left her. I made a mental note of where she lived, though Icouldn’t say why I did so.
Once I had reassuredmyself that the woman would be alright, I turned my thoughts backto my family and thoughts of the past. They were painful memories,primarily because they represented things I could no longer have.My only solace was that they were safe. If nothing else, I hadprotected them, and one more threat had been removed. Thillmariushad been given his final rest and the shiggreth, while stilldangerous, were under my control—maybe.
I hadn’t tested the notionyet, but I was already certain I could find them through the linksbetween them and the spell-weaving that now maintained myexistence. Such links might enable me to command them, or put themto other uses. It was even possible I could destroy them withoutbothering to track them down. At the very least, if I managed tofind a way to end my own cursed life and undo the spell-weavingthat bound me, they should pass away as well.
I intended to test those theoriesbefore doing anything drastic though, and at the moment I wasn’tentirely sure I wanted to escape the world anymore. My experiencewith Myrtle had given me something to savor, a bit of hope. Perhapsthings didn’t have to be as dark and bleak as I hadimagined.
What if I just took alittle, from lots of different people?
If I only needed power,plants and animals were enough, though humans seemed to be a muchricher source. What I worried about was the loss of my humanity.The intensity of my emotions had already dulled a bit and I assumedthey would continue to fade. How long before I would be completelydull and lifeless again? Once I had returned to that conditioncould I fully trust myself to follow the wishes of my more humanself? What if I killed someone while trying to recharge myhumanity?
Perhaps Penny would helpme, I thought suddenly. With that thoughtcame a rush of feelings, along with an unbidden fantasy… kissingher. My experience with Myrtle had been unexpected andoverwhelming. What if I could control myself? The thought broughtwith it a powerful desire, a terrible craving. I knew then whatwould happen. My feelings would overpower my senses. My desire formy wife, more than anyone else, would be compounded and corruptedby my need for human aythar. Touch her andthere will be no stopping.
I clenched my jaw infrustration. For her safety, as well as my children’s, I would haveto stay away from all of them. As long asI exist—as long as there are shiggreth, they will never besafe. There could be only one outcome, andit wouldn’t be a happy one, at least not for me. The only good newswas that my friends and family already thought of me as dead,
