I chewed at the inside of my cheek. Hmm. “Okay, then. What’s something you never did before this that you wish you had?”
His brows drew together, rumpling into an unamused little scowl. “What? Like a final wish before I die or something?”
“Well, no, it doesn’t have to be like a deathbed thing. Just something you haven’t done that you wish you could. You know, in case you never get the chance now.”
He thought it over, his mouth scrunching as his eyes flickered back and forth, seeming to study the ceiling of our tiny, beat-up runner craft. At last, he gave a half-hearted shrug. “I guess I don’t really have anything like that.”
“Oh. Lucky you, then.”
“Why? What’s yours?”
“Skinny-dipping in the Albertsons’ pool.”
Phox snapped a bewildered stare in my direction. I could have sworn the hue of his usually bluish-gray skinned cheeks had gone a little rosy. He opened his mouth like he was going to ask something, probably for an explanation, but never managed anything more than a flustered choking sound.
I smiled proudly before turning my head to look up at the ceiling. “It was during our spring holiday from high school. Junior year. The Albertsons were this stuffy, awful old couple who lived in a big house near our team captain. They had this really nice pool with a hot tub and everything, but they never used it. And since they also hated all forms of joy, they never let anyone swim in it, either. It was like this weird ritual. Mr. Albertson kept it immaculate. I mean, not a single leaf or bug in it. But the closest you’d ever see them to it was maybe sitting in a chair beside it. Anyway, I was hanging out with some of my teammates from the track team, and it was kinda late at night, and … well … they decided to hop the fence and go for a swim. Naked.” I hesitated, wondering what that must’ve sounded like to an alien guy from another planet. Did people from his world have pools? Or did he have no idea what I was talking about?
“But you didn’t go,” he finished for me. His tone was surprisingly serious.
“No,” I admitted quietly.
“Why not?”
I breathed a quick, shaky sigh. “Oh, you know, I had lots of reasons. Good reasons. Or at least they seemed good at the time.”
He wasn’t letting me off that easy. “What kind of reasons?”
I swallowed against the tightness in my throat. “I … I was terrified of doing anything to mess up my school record or my chances at scholarships and running opportunities. Every bad grade on a test or even just a stupid homework assignment would keep me awake all night for days after. I was never very good at academics in the first place. All I could think about was what would happen if I failed. All my work, all my mom’s work, would be for nothing. I would be nothing.”
Phox didn’t reply. Maybe he could sense I wasn’t finished. Or maybe he just didn’t know what to say to that.
I closed my eyes and let my mind and body go still, drinking in the serenity. “But everyone on the track team talked about it and laughed for weeks. They’d bring it up sometimes even when we were seniors. And every time it felt like, I dunno, like I was just a big coward. Like I was so afraid of losing my future that I wasn’t living my present. You know?”
“Yeah,” he murmured quietly.
“I should’ve jumped in the damn pool. I should’ve done a lot of things.”
“Well, you’ve obviously gotten over your fear of jumping in the past twenty-four hours.” His tone had a teasing edge.
A smile spread over my face. I drew my bottom lip into my mouth to try to bite it back. It didn’t work. “Yeah,” I agreed. “I guess I have.”
30
FALLING
I couldn’t sleep.
Even after Phox drifted off, snoring softly where he lay sprawled on his back, my mind went on racing like a hamster on crack. Was he right? Was Sienne still out there? Would she try finding her way back to us? Or would she carry on and finally give up?
None of that mattered, of course, if we died down here in the calm, quiet, total darkness of the caverns. Somehow, we had to find a way out. There was bound to be another entrance somewhere nearby. How else had that spec-cam gotten in? I seriously doubted it’d followed us through the storm, so that meant there had to be another way. Maybe it was big enough we could fit through it, too?
Then it hit me.
That was it—that was how we would find the way out.
Propping myself up on an elbow, I stole a glance down at Phox with my lips pressed together firmly. My heart twisted painfully. For this to work, I had to do it on my own. I couldn’t risk him finding out beforehand. He wasn’t going to like it. But I was willing to bet he’d like dying down here even less.
I hurried through my preparations, creeping to the cockpit and quickly powering up some of our basic systems—the running lights and maps. I had to generate enough of a signal that something, namely that spec-cam, might be able to find us. I hadn’t seen it in a while, but it’d been following us all through the tunnels for hours. It couldn’t have gone far, right? Maybe it was still nearby, just waiting for us to start back up.
I was counting on it.
Checking the ammunition and settings on the plasma pistol holstered to the outside of my thigh, I slipped toward the door. Every one of my footsteps thunked on the metal floor, seeming far too loud. I had to do this the right way. It had to be believable—even to him. God, Phox. I’m so sorry.
