‘I like to watch people,’ he says, ‘it’s the only thing to do here. Lots of secrets to uncover.’
‘Ha! Like what?’
‘Like, did you know your friend is fucking her way through the whole school?’ The comment blindsides me, it’s difficult not to rock back.
‘What? No, she isn’t, what friend? Who?’ I ask, but I’m worried I know exactly who he is talking about. He just smirks a bit.
‘You’re a liar,’ I tell him as I stand up, denying what he’s saying even after what Serena said and what I’ve seen tonight. ‘And an arsehole. You should leave.’
Alex stands up. He’s so much taller than me. I can smell something earthy and almost smoky about him, which makes my mouth dry. One of my straps has fallen off my shoulder and he raises a hand and uses one long finger to gently slide it back up and I think my heart almost stops as he then uses it to trace a line along my collarbone before resting it on my throat, just for a second. I can’t breathe and I think for a frozen moment that he is going to kiss me, but he just smiles his shark smile and turns and leaves.
Heart hammering, I go into the house to look for Molly. It’s getting late, the light is fading and everyone else must have left when I was talking to Alex, because the garden is deserted except for beer cans and empty bottles. There’s no one downstairs so I go into the understairs loo and look in the mirror, wondering if Alex’s finger has burnt me. But I look the same as always, just paler – if that’s even possible. I can see a pulse throbbing in my neck and I wonder if that’s where his finger stopped when he touched me.
Wandering through the empty house feels strange. Usually I like it here; it’s minimalist and cool and calm, but tonight it feels charged up. No Molly. I’m going to be so cross if she’s run off somewhere without me. Slowly, I gravitate toward the stairs to see if she is in her bedroom, moving as quietly as I can manage, which is very quiet indeed when I want to be. Her door is ajar and as I walk towards it I hear something, a weird slapping noise, so I creep up to look through the gap into the dim room beyond. Molly is naked from the waist down and sitting astride Matt on her bed. He’s thrusting himself into her violently, his hands gripping her hips, her hair everywhere, her own hands under her top on her breasts. I can hear them both now moaning, groaning, and I should leave but I can’t stop looking. Molly told us she was still a virgin like us, but this doesn’t look like the first time she’s done this, and Alex’s words are resounding in my head. She’s grinding herself onto him and her hand goes between her legs rubbing and I can hear him swearing and I have to leave, now, before I throw up every drop I’ve drunk tonight along with my rage that she could do this, that she’s been having this secret life, risking ruining our group for no reason I can understand – she would do that, for this? When anyone is here to see it! Did she want me to see her?
I run down the stairs and out of the door. I’m supposed to be waiting for her to come home with me, but she can go fuck herself. Once she’s finished with Matthew, anyway.
I stomp around the village for a while trying to calm down. I’m walking past the pub when someone grabs my arm. I spin around thinking it might be Molly, but it isn’t, it’s Tristan, Tilly’s horrible brother, and he stinks of beer.
‘Vivvy, Vivvy!’ he slurs. ‘Where you going, baby?’ He starts to paw at my body, trying to pull me towards him, to rub himself against me. His dirty brown hair, which is usually tied back in a scratty ponytail, is loose around his face, and I have a horror of it touching me.
‘Get off me!’ I tell him, pushing at his chest. ‘Get off!’ but he’s all over me. He pulls me, and I can’t stop him, until we are in the alley next to the pub, where he pins me hard against the wall and starts tugging up my top, trying to get his hand in the waistband of my jeans, his fingers worming down.
‘C’mon, Vivvy, give me a kiss.’
‘No!’ I’m shouting now, craning away from him as he leans towards me, the wet hole of his mouth rank, and I manage to kick him hard as I can in the leg and he springs back, letting me go. I can see white spots behind my eyes; I’m about to completely lose control of my temper.
‘Ow, you stupid little bitch! I was just messing around, you frigid cow.’
Suddenly Molly is there too, shoving her way in between us.
‘Get off her, you scumbag!’ she shouts, slapping at him and barging against him with her shoulder. ‘You’re disgusting! Fuck off!’
He does, giving her a long look before spitting at our feet and then staggering off toward the chip shop and the house behind where he lives with Tilly and their parents. Molly grabs me, and she’s really drunk, her eyes blank and staring.
‘Why did you leave, Viv? I’m staying at yours, remember? I was looking for you in the garden then I heard you shouting.’ Her top is on backwards.
‘You disappeared,’ I tell her. ‘Did you go off with Matt?’
‘No, of course not,’ she says, proving that even when she’s wasted she can to lie to my face without even a flicker. ‘He went home, and I just zonked out upstairs. D’you think your mum is in the pub? Shall we
