One of my favourite human beings, who is truly an inspiration to me, is Caitlin Moran. Her book How to be a Woman literally changed my outlook on life. My favourite quote from that, which I feel sums feminism up, is: ‘What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.’
Because of this outlook, I don’t believe women should be made to feel like they need to look a certain way, whether it be the clothes they wear, their hair, their make-up, or their size. I do, however, as a strong lover of Girl Power, want every girl to be fit and healthy so we can complete our mission to gain equality and die when we are very old and crinkly. This is why, as soon as I was starting to get some health scares and not feel myself, I decided to go to the doctor’s.
When I arrived at the surgery for my appointment, I typed my date of birth and surname into the computer and sat on the custard-yellow seats in the reception area. Trying to inconspicuously cover my nose and mouth from the man next to me who had decided to cough openly and spread his germs all around the room, I was staring at the screen, waiting for my name to pop up.
Scarlett Moffatt Room Two Nurse Howarth
In I went. The nurse smiled at me.
‘Hi Scarlett, what seems to be the problem?’
‘I don’t mean to sound like a drama queen but I just feel awful most of the time. I have been having terrible back and neck pain. I’m also having just constant, really bad headaches. And I am just permanently tired, even though I spend most of my time sleeping. I just have no motivation at all.’
‘Have you had any weight gain recently?’
‘Well, a bit … I mean I have always been really slim up until the age of twenty when I stopped competitive dancing. I mean really fit and full of energy.’
‘And you are twenty-five now, is that right?’
‘Yes, that’s right.’
‘OK, so I need to measure your height, weight and blood pressure and we will take it from there. Is that OK with you?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Hmm, five foot, your blood pressure is a little low … and now if you can just pop on the scales?’
I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to. I was going to ask if I could take some layers off. I don’t know why, it’s not like I was going to be judged.
‘Eleven stone and four pounds.’
‘Does this mean I’m overweight?’
‘No, it doesn’t.’
‘Thank God for that.’
‘Your BMI is 30.09, so I am afraid you’re actually obese. We will need to test you for diabetes type two.’
I burst into tears. ‘How have I got myself to this state and how am I going to get out?’
Actually, I knew how, I just didn’t want to say it out loud: I needed to move more and eat less. Every night was a takeaway and I had a job that involved sitting down with the only movement being clicking a mouse button.
Honestly, apart from feeling tired and the pains, I was super happy. I didn’t feel like my weight stopped me enjoying myself. I wasn’t bothered about not being able to wear crop tops and I was quite happy about wearing a kaftan by the pool on holiday. But what did bother me was that I was putting myself at risk of a serious condition. I wanted to live a long time, I wanted to dance around the house with Ava without getting beads of sweat on my brow. I was twenty-five; I shouldn’t be getting tired from walking up a flight of stairs.
I honestly think if you are what the media calls ‘a plus-size man or woman’, that’s great. Don’t feel like you have to fit into what they tell us we should all look like. However, just make sure you are healthy. We all want to live as long as possible in order to spend as much time with our loved ones as we can. By just exercising thirty minutes a day we can do that. From that day at the doctor’s I decided to lose weight. I didn’t have an aesthetic image of what I wanted to look like, my goal was to be right in the middle of the healthy BMI scale.
I am not going to lie, it was bloody hard. I didn’t completely change my diet but I just made wiser choices. Sweet potatoes instead of white potatoes, an apple instead of a slice of apple pie and, of course, I cut down my portion sizes. I had been eating for a family of four in one sitting, to be honest (no one needs a side of a full garlic baguette to themselves to accompany a plate of spag bol). I also stopped getting two Mr Whippy ninety-niners from the ice-cream van and instead kept a tub of sorbet in the freezer if I fancied something sweet.
I also really started getting into my fitness. I’ve always hated the gym; I feel intimidated whenever I go in. All those men making strange grunting noises at the weight machines and girls who don’t sweat, they glisten. No thanks, I’ll stick to exercising in the comfort of my own home in my pyjamas. That is the reason I brought out my DVD. I have been there; I know how difficult it is, I know what it’s like to be busy and not want to have to walk to the gym in the rain and be the only one in there who isn’t clutching a protein shake. I found some fun exercises and just wanted there to be something out there for women and men to be like, ‘Well, if Scarlett can do it, I can.’ Because I’m not superhuman; I’m just the average northern lass
