‘No, what video?’
‘Oh, I’ll send you it now.’
All my family had had a huge party for me on the night of the final. They got big cut-outs of Ant and Dec and a throne. They had crowns and a big cake decorated with spiders. They all got T-shirts they’d walk around town in. Honestly, it was incredible.
They recorded everybody in the Mitre pub from the moment Dec announced, ‘And the new … Queen of the Jungle is Scarlett Moffatt!’ Everybody got up and cheered; my family were crying. Watching all the happy faces of the people I cherished the most made all of the awful trials and challenges worthwhile. My auntie Janine and uncle Richie started dancing on the chairs, our Demi and Ben were buzzing, the Potters – Adele, Kerstie and Tammie – were bursting with pride. When my mam and dad showed me that video back at the hotel that’s when it hit me. I had just won. It wasn’t a dream, it wasn’t just a fantasy, I hadn’t made it up in my mind – it was really my life.
All of my best friends (the girls, I call them) had a party in the local BR (this is the old British Railway Working Men’s Club). They were there with their vodka and cokes and had recorded the final too. I couldn’t believe their reaction, I mean you know your friends love you but when things like this happen you realise how much. Even my friend Bam who doesn’t get emotional about anything was in tears. My bestie Sarah and Nicola Morris were hugging, Kelly was jumping up and Sam and Billie summed it up: ‘Fucking get in,’ they screamed.
It felt amazing to win. Weirdly, winning the jungle helped massively with my anxiety and panic attacks. I realised that I could fight my head demons and I was in control. I was way stronger than I thought. I also realised that I needed to stop being so anxious about being accepted. After all, people had gone out of their way to vote for me, for SCARLETT MOFFATT – that’s little me. I felt like I had finally been accepted, not just by other people but by myself. I realised there and then I had to stop being so harsh on myself.
As Bruce Lee said:
‘Defeat is not defeat unless accepted as a
reality in your own mind.’
Chapter Seventeen
CHRISTMAS TIME, COLD MASHED POTATO AND WINE
According to tradition, you should eat one mince pie on each of the twelve days of Christmas to bring good luck. (Yule be pleased I told you this fact).
Six million – that’s the number of rolls of Sellotape that will be sold in the UK in the run-up to Christmas. (5.95 million – that’s the number of rolls where you can’t find where the tape ends).
The chances of a white Christmas are just one in ten for England and Wales, and one in four for Scotland and Northern Ireland.
Hopping off my seat slightly dazed and jet-lagged (after twenty-seven hours of travelling), I clambered down the aeroplane steps. Arriving into Newcastle Airport was an amazing feeling. It felt so good to be home. Smelling those Gregg’s sausage rolls and seeing people without coats on even though it was December just warmed my heart. I couldn’t believe how many people had turned up to the airport to greet me – I don’t mean family, I mean people who I’d never met who had supported me throughout the jungle. I grasped my little sister’s hand and tried not to cry. I will remember that feeling for the rest of my life, I was just on a high. A Christmas high.
Apart from telly, one of my great loves is Christmas. I believed in Santa until I was eleven. I found out he didn’t exist from my teacher in Citizenship class. She said something about different beliefs and about how no grown-up believed in Santa. I was like, ‘What?’ All the kids were laughing. So I went home and asked me mam and dad, ‘Why did you not tell us when I went to secondary school that Santa wasn’t real?!’
‘Sorry, we just wanted you to believe,’ my mam replied.
‘I’m at big school now. You should have told us that Santa wasn’t real, man.’
But I think my parents just wanted me to believe in kiddie stuff for as long as possible. That shattering disillusionment when I was eleven hasn’t put me off Christmas, though. I still absolutely adore it. I’m the biggest Christmas fan ever. You know the super-enthusiastic main character in the movie Elf? That is me! I’m like, ‘It’s Santa. Woo hoo!’
I just buy stuff that I don’t even need – anything that’s red and green or looks festive. I’m all into it. I don’t ever buy coffee from coffee shops, but if the cup has got a Santa face on it, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, I need it in my life.’
I start buying mince pies in November and eat pigs in blankets as a snack (it’s festive, it’s allowed, the calories don’t count). One of the highlights of the year for me is when Gregg’s do their Christmas specials. They do chicken bakes with stuffing or cranberry sauce in them. Sometimes they really mix things up and have turkey pasties. They also do special hot chocolate where you get cream and marshmallows and
