Then it hit me, it was a song my mom used to love. I remembered her singing it in the kitchen. “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt.
Trixie curled her fingers around the mic, eyes down, and my heart pounded in my chest. Then she was singing, and when she looked up her eyes came straight to me. For a moment, I didn’t think she saw me, but then…fuck, yeah, she saw me all right. Her eyes dipped again for several long seconds, then finally, they came back to me and they stayed.
And like that first night, everything she was feeling was right there. Her smoky voice breaking every heart in the fucking room.
She was singing right at me, telling me how she felt…Christ, the way she thought I felt. It took everything in me not to stride up there and pull her down off that stage and make her believe it. Believe that I loved her. That she was the only one I wanted.
Those beautiful, sad green eyes of hers stayed on me until the song ended, then she quickly looked away and scrambled off the stage, pushing through the crowd, trying to get to the door. I momentarily lost her and desperately searched the faces in the room, and that’s when I became aware of the looks. Quinn was looking between me and where I assumed Trixie was. Addy, Eves, and Lila were looking pissed. Bull, Dane, Cal, and Riff all looking confused.
I didn’t give a fuck about any of them. I went after my girl, trying to get to her before she ran out the door. It opened ahead of me, and she ran out. I picked up the pace and burst out after her. She spun around, stumbling, and caught herself.
I strode toward her. “Trixie…”
“It was just a song,” she said before I could say another word.
I didn’t stop, I kept coming. She stumbled again and reached for the wall. I caught her and pulled her close.
“Let me leave, Mase. I need to leave,” she said.
Trixie was way past tipsy, in no state for the conversation I wanted to have with her right then, but still I had to ask. “Why, Trixie? Tell me why?”
She looked up at me, big green eyes swimming with tears. “I left her, Mase. I left Gran alone for a man who didn’t really care about me. I let a man change the course I set for myself, and she got sick. Gran got sick, and I wasn’t here. She got lost…and she was scared and…and I wasn’t there.”
Jesus, I searched her pained expression. “What are you talking about?”
“Adam, I thought he loved me, and I left Gran, I left to be with him, I left her for nothing.”
“Trixie,” I rasped. “That wasn’t your fault.” I had no fucking idea about her Gran getting sick while she was with that fuck. None. “She didn’t tell me she’d been getting confused, forgetting things, and she…” Her throat worked. “She got lost, she called me, scared and afraid, and she had no idea where she was. She had to go into a nursing home six months later, but before that she wrote me a letter, she wanted me to do this trip, Mason. I promised her I’d do this trip.”
“She’d want you to be happy, she’d want you to…”
“Don’t. Don’t say anymore…or I’ll do it again, I’ll let her down again. I have to do this.” Panic filled her voice. “Gran taught me that you can’t rely on anyone but yourself. My mom, Ross, Adam, they all let me down, over and over again, they broke my heart so many times, Mason…and I let them. I let them do that to me. Gran was right. Love isn’t worth it, relationships aren’t worth it,” she said.
“Kitten, no, you don’t mean that.”
“It’s just one more person who can let you down,” she choked out.
Fuck. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that her gran wouldn’t want this, but she wouldn’t listen to me, not right then, so I pulled her in, held her tight, and pressed my mouth to her ear. “I won’t let you down. I promise you, I won’t let you down. I should have told you about the divorce not being finalized, I should have been honest about the way I felt…”
“Please…stop.”
Fuck. I choked in a breath and pressed my mouth to the soft skin below her ear. “I can wait, kitten. You go, but come back to me when you’ve done what you need to do, okay? I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”
The door banged behind me, and then Eves and Lila were there, and I reluctantly handed her over to them, watching as they led her away. My head swam, fucking confused, and yeah, heartbroken. My girl was in pain and I didn’t know what to do to help her.
I turned and Quinn was standing there, arms crossed and an expression on her face I didn’t recognize.
“You and Trix?” she asked.
“I’m in love with her,” I said, simply.
My sister walked straight to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “She sang that song right to you. She loves you too.”
“But she’s still leaving,” I rasped.
Quinn nodded against my chest. “I’m so sorry.”
Still, the next morning, I drove to her trailer. I had to talk to her, to tell her how I felt because I meant what I said the night before, and I needed to make sure she fucking believed me.
I would wait. No matter how long she needed, I’d wait.
But I was too late.
Chapter Twenty-One
Trixie
I pulled over
